A day in my book....

I've been painting, painting, painting....

Like a lot, as I am so very blessed that since

I began with the first Home portrait painted

for Rhett, I have been non stop with orders

for portraits of homes.

Yesterday, however, I took a break from that.

Yep, shut it down for a whole day.

Why you may ask (or not lol)?

Because I was asked to keep my great niece, Lillian

(yes, my namesake) as she was off for the holidays

but her parents, both teachers had one more day.

She came all dressed up as we were going to make

mass with Bean at her school, to end this year.

A beautiful mass.

Then once the three grand girls were finished their school parties,

their Mom brought them to the cottage along

with an extra who is almost like another grand girl for me,

Bean's best friend, Mia.

A cottage FULL of estrogen!

I had bought all we needed for an art project

because estrogen induced little girls love, love, love art.

We made candy cane reindeer's!

I had all set up at the dining table along with snacks.

I showed them one and they went to town 

decorating their candy canes.

They wanted me to make a you tube video and I did.

It didn't last long but we did decorate quite a few reindeer!

There are a few things I am quite proud of when

the grand girls plus friends, nieces visit...

The television is rarely turned on and aside from

me taping a you tube video, no one asked

for a phone, and iPad, a computer.

Instead they retreated to the play room to play 

with all the things this Mumsie keeps there for 

their entertainment.

From the age of 3 to 9, all got along and played.

A beautiful day had us outside and not to be outdone

by a bunch of little girls, I suggested a game of

MOTHER MAY I.

You remember that game.....

My grand girls know how to play as we play it often.

We had to explain the rules to a few.

Then we got into our game.

For whatever reason, these little girls

only wanted to see Mumsie do ballerina twirls

as it is all the "Mothers" ever asked me to do.

"Why am I only getting ballerina twirls?"

the answer?

"Because its funny to watch and you are too old for cartwheels"

Phahahahahahha

There is something about when the girls visit Mumsie....

Mumsie plays too, no matter what it is we playing.

Mia, during the course of the day, made a statement

"I can call you Mumsie too?" 

Of course, as she has only called me that for the

last few years. It makes me proud of how most of

the grand girl's friends call me Mumsie.

And the TV and the electronics remained unimportant.

The day flew by as we played games, did art in the studio,

played Wizard of Oz and Barbies, babies and school.

It is a true statement when the last of the grand girls were

picked up this Mumsie was pooped with a big smile and

an even bigger heart. I straightened up the cottage and

made my way to bed with a book in hand

but my thoughts were on this day.

I am proud of all the Cottage means not only to me

but to a bunch of little girls, who love spending time

here. I like to believe it's not just the Cottage that they love

but the owner, the Mumsie that lives here as well.

I know these times are a passing, that sooner than

I want to admit, the time will come where I will not

be the place they want to be on their first day of Christmas 

holiday. But for now, a tired Mumsie was 

a happy and loved Woman!

Cami-girl gets a car....

....AND YOU GET A CAR, AND YOU....

No it's not an Oprah moment,

but my second to youngest god child, Cami

finally received her wheels!

It took her a little longer as most of her friends,

one, she had to do a few things to get her life in order,

then she had to get her license and a job,

Now while waiting to join the National Guard,

she had to save enough money...

This is where her Nannie came into play.

Let me take you back almost 20 years ago....

Cameron Tamplain is not only my godchild, she is also 

my great niece, born to my nephew and his teen girlfriend.

My nephew was so not ready to be a Daddy and her Mom

did the best she could at the time, loving her was one thing

she did well. My sis, Rosie, being her Gammy helped where

she could and I was the best Nannie I could be as I was 

also still raising my own rugrats.

But I did one thing that stands out to me, in her life.

I did not know what her future would hold and

I knew all holidays as a young child she would have

what she needed. So I opened her up a savings account.

Every birthday, every Christmas, every Holiday,

I would put the money I would have put into a gift

she would forget about, into this account.

It did not seem like much but by the time she was

16/17 there was 2,000 dollars.

At that time I was going through a divorce and had

to stop adding to it so I cashed it in and just waited.

Waited for her to finish growing up,

waiting for her mom and her Daddy,

who have now grown to be two fine parents after

their own growing up and her Dad sobering up, starting

a sweet little family as well as her Mom.

So time passed, I reminded her Dad about the money

that he had totally forgot about.

I explained that when he thought she was ready to be

responsible with the money I had it ready for her.

This week he and I spoke and she had found a car

in Mississippi. 

Then she and her Gammy drove to my house to get the

gifts I have given her over 16 years,

enough cash to buy her first car!

It was a wonderful day and I am honored that

i was able to give her her first car.

It may not be much, but it is hers, paid in full

and she seems not affected at all that her Nannie

gave very few gifts as a child.

So if you have a little child you love,

be the one that instead of giving those toys they

won't play with by the end of the day, clothing

that they will either not like or will outgrow so quickly,

think of opening them a savings account so that

when they become "ready" you can have a hand

in their first car, house, etc.

I have never regretted this decision and if anything,

was honored that the smile on her face

when those keys were handed to her,

well, I played a small part in it!

I love you Cami-girl!

Thanksgivings and days of past

As I type this my oldest sister, 24 years my senior,

Lies in an ICU where after a few very scary days, is

Finally stable. Still very sick but we are so thankful 

She is still with us. It’s so common to say,

“I am thankful for her life” yet I am. As she tells me today

“Remember Lil how we always used to sit on the 

Cabinet at the big house”

And  I realize she is talking about our family home.

I had forgotten how just like her generation,

We all sat on the red and white kitchen cabinets too.

My mind and heart is flooded with those old memories

again. When Mom and Dad were both alive and it was

not questioned where we would spend our Thanksgivings.
It was always at the big house with all the family in tow. 

Then after Dad passed, I with my young family,

It was Thanksgiving at Veronica’s  And the next generation

Stayed longer to play board games and many of them

Followed me home after for a few nights of sleep overs. 

“I was there, Lilly, I was in the big house and we were all

There and I felt like I was falling off the counter

But mostly I was falling from all of y’all”

And I realize We are at yet another realm of our lives  

My children are grown with their own lives,

Minta, who used to be my sidekick, stands on the side
Of her mothers bed. Life, ever changing.
I awaken this morning to coffee already made and
A turkey prepared and put in the roaster by
The boo before he leaves for call week at 3 am.
I am thankful for this new normal.
A new Thanksgiving, a good one and different all the same.
I realize as I stood at my
Sisters bedside this morning that another era
Is approaching us. The first the Boo has without his own Mom,
The era where I know years will cause me to say goodbye to so
Many I love. Today it makes sense
When my Mom used to say
“Growing old is not all it’s cracked up to be while so many around you
Die”
And so what do I tell my dear oldest sister as she explains
“I knew if I fell off that counter I was gone from y’all”
I say
“ you know, it’s said Heaven can be whatever we want it to be
And for you, maybe your Heaven will
Be all of us together again in that big house on Dursette street
With all those we love, all the generations”
She contemplates this and finally shakes her head yes.
And I tell her with tears
“But not yet Taunt Mone”
She again shakes her head yes.
Today I am thankful for it all and for her
And for all the changes in my
55 years of living and for this Thanksgiving, and all those past
And all to come.
But mostly I’m thankful for all this World still has to offer me
And that when my time comes,
“I get to make my own Heaven and what a heaven it will be!”
( typed this on my phone so forgive any typo"s!)

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS NOT ONE SIDED....

How many times have I spoken of 

"wearing my rose colored glasses"?

More than I dozen I am sure and for whatever 

reason my world is nicer like that.

I have been so busy and can, I think, call myself 

an artist as from the day I painted a painting of 

one of my friends home I have been non-stop in painting

homes. No complaints, honestly, just find myself painting

morning until night.

Wednesday, however I took the morning to attend the

grandgirls Thanksgiving mass where I witnessed the smallest

of good deeds that melted my heart and found me

wiping away a few tears.

Cathy, the grand girls other grandmother (KD's Mom)

struggles with Parkinson's disease.

Cold weather makes it harder for her yet she wanted

to make mass so I scooped her up and we headed 

to St. John mass. Only the Bean is old enough for mass

as the other two rug rats cry when we leave.

Bean is always so conscious of making sure she spreads

her love between her two grandmothers.

I know she is just 7 but she understands, somehow,

that we both adore her.

When it was time for communion, although she will not

make her first communion until Spring, she likes

walking up, hands crossed over her chest, and get

a blessing. She held my hand up and Maw Maw was

in the back. It was a hard day for Maw Maw,

having to use her cane but she made the trek up there.

As I received my host and Bean her blessing,

I continued on but Bean stopped.

It took me a moment to realized what she was doing.

When I did my hear filled with pride for this child.

She let go my hand stopped, right there in front of

the whole congregation while her Maw Maw 

received communion.

Then I realized exactly what her plan, where her actions

were going....

She was waiting for her Maw Maw to help her back to her

seat. Oh, BE STILL ME HEART!

As Maw Maw Cathy walked away from the altar,

cane in hand, Bean held her other hand and walked

slowly with her down the aisle and all the way back

to our pew, made sure she was seated, then took her

place between her two grandmothers.

I bowed my head in prayer to cover my eyes 

that were wet. I don't know what Cathy and I did

to be grandparents to three sweet children but,

in the season of Thanksgiving, I am so very thankful

that our oldest grand girl is filled with the gift

of kindness and giving.

(written with Cathy's permission)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

MINI’S SURROUND ME...

I bought a refrigerator the other day...

It’s avocado green, cost 22dollars and...

Is 6 inches high.

You can’t store many groceries in it but it is 

Jam-packed with memories!

Yes, it is one I found when Tiffy and I were at the 

Pink Elephant I spotted it and immediately the memories 

Came flooding back. It is the piece that began my love for miniatures. 

I have thought of this piece many times and the rest of the kitchen set

That went with it so you can imagine my excitement over it.

Back in my early years of schooling, when I finally returned

In mid first grade, it was customary at Christmas time

For your parents to send a Small gift to school for the school

Xmas party, Santa would distribute those gifts. 

I remember unwrapping the sweet fridge and thinking 

I had the best gift of all the other children. 

I was not the only one who must have believed this
 as lots of my friends wanted to play with it.

I was not a selfish or mean child but that day I wanted my 

Possession to be only mine. I did not take it out the packaging until I got home. 

It may have had other pieces to it, but I only remember opening it up

And admiring the tiny ice trays and the glass looking ice cubes in it!

From that day one, everything little would infatuate me. 

And that same year, on Christmas morning was the

Sink, stove and dish washer to match!

One of my best gifts of all time. 

A long introduction to the fact that I love miniatures and I adore toys. 

All over my cottage I have mini reproductions of life sized things. 

.I have enough furniture to fill a few dollhouses and even built dollhouses for a while. Matter of fact, one of my reasons for completing my shop was so that I and the

 grandgirls can build a dollhouse together. 

 Friend, Connie, asked me the other day to post pics of my collection

And I had to tell her it is vast and all over my Cottage. 

Soon I will post pics. 

So now I am where I want to be with this blog...

What will happen to all my collections, mini’s being one of many?

I hope they are preserved, loved and added on to by the next owner. 

I cringe when I think of all my treasures being garage sold 

Or thrown out. I have shared this a few times with

Gypsy baby and she has replied the same way each time,

“Biatch, when you die, I’m just moving in my clothes!”

This always makes me laugh and gives me some peace,

Message of today:

Love something that is inanimate, share that with others.

Don’t let it be “off hands”
in that way your love of these objects carry on
the love you have of your people.

I DON’T DO IT FOR THE GLORY

(First excuse any typo’s as doing this on my iPad)

She walks in hot and disheveled. 

She asks for nothing except if the owner of

One of my favorite antique stores would be interested

In some rare, numbered plates. 

I am checking out an old doll refrigerator,

One I had as a kid, same color and all....

She is different from the beggar in the parking lot

Who holds a sign and asks Tiffy and I for money.

At first I am not sure if her identity is male or female

But then she turn to me and she is very female, 

Holding a sweet baby girl in her arms. 

She is a big baby, but her Mother carries her. 

They both are hot and sweaty, the baby not so clean

But definitely loved. 

What makes her different to me than the beggar I just told

“I have no cash”?

Because she is willing to give up something for help,

At first the male owner tells that he has lots of plates. 

As she pulls them out of her back pack, 

I realize she is not going to give up just yet. 

I don’t know her story but I know it’s one of survival. 

I understand survival. 

I open my wallet to pay and I hand her a few bills

Where no one can see. 

She asks “what’s that for?”

I shake my head, turn and continue checking out. 

I try to mind my own business but the owner has seen 

What I have done. He buys the plates. 

As she leaves she tells me in a low voice 

“God bless you”

I say nothing. The owner says to me

“ I was not going to buy those plates but I couldn’t let

You be the only one who helped.” 

I meant to keep this to myself but this morning my thoughts are only

Of this Mother and child. 

I hope they ate
 well last night. 

I hope they had a safe place to lay their head. 

The baby watched me the whole time. I hope as she grows life

Becomes easier for them 

Yet I have great respect for a Mother who carries her baby through

The scorching heat of Louisiana, selling something 

That probably was important to her but not as important as

Her child. I hope one day the Mother tells the child

About the kindness of strangers that was bestowed

To them “ That day”

Some may say I write this for the pat on the back. 

They would be wrong. 

I write this because whatever her story is, if we can,

We should help those who really are trying to help themselves. 

If I can spend two free nights at LeBerge Casino with my niece,

Who is more like my sister, and I can gamble a few

Twenties that I earn by selling my art, I surely can make sure this lil

Family eats. 

I don’t do it for the glory. 

LIBBY AND THE AUDIOBOOK...

If you are a big reader and not a music listener in the car, you have

to get the APP, Libby.

It is literally your library in your hand! 

I always listen to books in the car so this app has changed 

me from having to go to library to get cd books.

You can also read from the app.

Just link all library cards you have and you are there.

Which brings me to this blog....

Yesterday on the way home from the Boo's "La Maison"

(What we call his cottage home he is renting)

I am listening to a book as I always do and a sentence strikes me"

"I smile at my Daddy, the best gift a father can give his girls is worthiness,

that she is enough...."

Wow! It gets me thinking about a lot of things, to the point

that I still am thinking of it this am.

Us Mamma's we have to bring our girls up to be 

strong and independent or this world will eat them up.

But their Daddy's Oh their Daddys!

I think of my own Baby Boy and what he has with his girls.

I think of all the little girls out there without Daddy's.

I have a saying I always used to say,

"the best gift a Father can give to their children is to love their Mother"

So this other saying goes hand in hand with that.

The way a Daddy shows his daughters what they 

are worthy of is to show them how worthy their Mother is.

The old Poem, 

Teach a child....

says so much, so to you new and old Daddy's out there:

and Ange' and Sage, just starting their little family so young.

If you babies see affection between the two of you,

they may roll their eyes, they may be embarrassed but 

they love it. They will think, as I do,

"That is what I want when I grow up."

Save all arguments, disagreements, hostility for privacy.

Of course, it is also good for kid's to see their parents

work out a disagreement, but let them see partnership,

that no one is not more important than the other,

from the Daddy to the Mommy to the littlest of the little.

Worthiness. We all need it.

It is easy to forget the love you shared when the first

baby comes, like Ange' and Sage is feeling right now.

Because life and worries and finances and kids,

well they kind of get in the way.

So, I want to share two things in my own personal life

as to why this sentence hit me so strongly...

First, I was the baby of a large brood, some of my siblings

were already out of the home, my parents rarely showed

affection in front of me, towards the end when my Dad got 

sick he even made Momma cry sometimes, but up until 

the last day he could, every morning, Every morning,

my Momma was greeted with a cup of coffee in bed.

I have always remembered what a show of love from

this man to my Mother.

The second was my personal worthiness to my Daddy.

I may have shared this one before but it is worth restating.

I was teased lots as a child.

First because I was bald after chemo and then for a long

time for the curly mop of a head that replaced the baldness.

The way I dealt with it was I laughed, I laughed with all the

bullies and even friends who laughed or made comments 

about my hair. 

Yet at the end of the day, after the bus dropped me off,

I would go home and cry, not every day but especially the

days when one certain boy thought it was funny to take

his lollipop and smack it in my curly hair to see it stuck.

As I cried my Daddy, in his no nonsense way, would not

hug me or tell me it was okay or want to fight the bullies,

no every day when this event happened he said one sentence,

"Lilly, it does not matter what the World thinks of you, 

because when you come through that door you are loved."

Self confidence was given to me daily from that one sentence.

I believe it is a large part of why I am the confident person I am today.

So Daddy's you have an important job,

Show your children, especially your girls, their worth,

every day. Show them the worth of their mother and that

a family needs every part to be happy and healthy.

Thanks for reading my long thoughts this am.

I treasure all of you who follow me!

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS KAVANAUGH

I want to first say, as I have so many times before,

I don't know much about politics and I rarely

say anything about these types of things but I know quite a bit 

about life and our past actions.

I have so many confusing thoughts on this whole

episode on Kavanaugh's past.

First that gets me... If I and most of us had to be judged

on things we did in high school most of us would be in court

for some type of stupidity we have done .

My first confusion is why is not some judge throwing 

this out, why is so much time being spent on this?

So many coming forward to slam this man who

all the accusations are from when he was in high school and

college. He has been a judge, a man has done lots good since then.

Many of these women have also said,

"They were inebriated, and they are not sure if Brett K. 

was even the one who exposed himself at these parties which 

all were drunk at. What did they do? I am sure there were

some things they all did they were not proud of.

Shoot, I remember one high school party I had at my sisters

house that I made out with a guy I didn't even know well.

Yet, I am not about to hold accusations against him, I am sure

we both kind of liked it, we were teens with lots of

hormones running through our veins.

My biggest complaint is, why do women

(and please realize this is not a woman bashing blog,

I know how hard it is for some abused women to come out)

wait until a President wants to put this man on his payroll

does this come out. Why, since college, only being what

it seems an upstanding citizen, being prosecuted?

Why in the Clinton Era, he could mess around with young

women, knowing EXACTLY what he was doing

in OUR white house, with his "wife" probably in another room,

not be put in jail or taken out of office and yet this man is

being prosecuted for teenage hormones.

If he drugged them, that is wrong, but where is the proof?

Like a friend of mine said, "What happened to innocent until proven guilty?"

What about this man's wife, his children? Clinton was guilty, GUILTY

proven that way and spent not one day in jail.

I don't know why this piece of news has affected me so much

as usually I don't get involved.....

I think it is not about this man,

it is more about women. The poor women who have really

been abused, raped, mentally abused by the husbands,

those types of women who are afraid to come out and speak

of their abuse. These women, especially the one who started it,

Christine Ford, gets to say when she will testify

" I can't go on a Monday"

"I want a female judge"

lada lada lada

We don't have those rights...

When we have to be in court, even for jury duty we are

told when to be there and added if not there we could be arrested.

I just do not understand the unfairness of all of this and

how our Country is allowing it to happen.

I know I may get lots of back lashing over this one,

I know I don't know all the facts but I have always said,

"If you put something in words, you must stand behind it"

It is why I write so much, because things can't be turned around.

Just had to put this one out there as it has been irritating me for

days and after coffee with a few friends yesterday at the

Cottage, I realize this is the feeling of many....

Remember this is my opinions, my feelings,

I am sticking to it!

                                                                                                                                                                                                           

ITS A MUMSIE POST! BEWARE!!!

It's been a while since I have blogged about my 

Grandgirls! This blog is also used as a journaling technique for

me, soo, get ready a MUMSIE BRAGGING POST!

Our sweet girls, I know some may think we spoil them rotten

(we do) and we think they are perfect ( they are, for us)

yet each one of them brings something different to my life

and there is very little I love more than talking about 

these gals! 

First, this photograph, says so  much!

Kd wanted some Mother/daughter pics and this

one lands up being my favorite, as it shows

just how much that big sis love those little sisters

and how much they lean on her, for a lot.

Jilly, Bean to my blog world is 7 now,

7!!! When did that happen?

She is smart, a teachers dream, strong in body and mind

dramatic, like her Mumsie and vocal on her thoughts (like her Mumsie lol)

She has been chosen, by the St. John high school cheerleaders 

to be their mascot, which means, she performs at every game 

and dresses out with them! Amazing how strong this girls

body is with all that cheering and dance and gymnastics.

Of course, we are proud of all her accomplishments but

the story I choose to share about the Bean is one

that took place a few nights ago when I stayed lil later at her 

home so I could spend some one on one time with her.

As we laid in her bed, watching a You Tube video, 

talking about different things, cuddling,

the time finally came that she had to get to sleep 

and I had to get home. As i was saying good bye

(Consisting of many hugs and kisses and don't leaves)

she announces, "Mumsie I have a question"

You just never know where the Bean's questions will go...

"yes"

"For Christmas, can I have some Mumsie lotion?"

for my whole adult life I have worn Clinique Aromatics lotion.

So much that my kids recognize the smell with me

and the grand girls call it Mumsie lotion.

"Why would you want that for Christmas?"

"Because when you leave here or I leave the cottage,

I can smell you and if I had my own lotion,

I could smell you all the time"

Oh girl, BE STILL MY HEART!

and this is our Bean, tough, dramatic

and yet so very sweet when it counts the most.

(Jilly, cousin Lizzy and JOJO with the wrestling faces on at match)

Then there is our JOJO, oh our sweet, gentle Jo!

It has been a while since I have met a child with

such a gentle spirit, delicate, a dancing queen,

as if there is music, she is dancing.....

She rarely is rude around Mumsie,

which is makes this story I love to share about her

makes it so funny. She is rarely rude.

One day as we are at the cottage,

I tell her to do something and she's says

"Mumsie, you not my boss"

I say "JOJO!" and she says "Mumsie!"

in shock as we both are just that as this is not

JoJO's normal personality.

"I have to sit?"

Which means sitting for the minutes of your age

under the NO WHINING sign at Mumsie's Cottage.

"Yeah, baby, you have to"

She set her timer for 4 minutes and quietly sits

her time out. When her time is up I do what

we are taught to do. I bend down to her eye level,

I look her in the eye, I ask her "Do you know why you

were timed out?" "Yes Ma'am"

"I can't tell grown ups they not the boss, and you are

the boss of this house"

I hug her and tell her I love her and she is such a good little girl.

Then in her JOJO voice, sweet and loving...

"Mumsie?" "Yes jojo?"

"When I grow up, I am going to be mean to you!"

Sweet JOJO 

And then our baby JemJem....

Okay, there is something I have heard all my life,

"She is the baby, and she is spoiled rotten."

I used to overhear this so much

but you  know what, I grew up knowing it was true.

Even now, at 55, let me get sick or need something

and those siblings come a running!

Yet, I still turned out OK, right???

Our JEM JEM, she is the baby.

Maybe we all rocked her a little longer,

gave her what she wanted a little more,

but when it comes to funny, this gal is FUNNY!

She has this raspy, deep voice that in itself,

is funny. Then when she sings, its with

gusto, her eyes close, her little nose wrinkles and

She sings her version of any Disney song or song

her Daddy plays for her. Her words are usually her own

and in that raspy voice, all we can say is,

"Oh JEM JEM that was beautiful!"

And she bows, are says "I'm Jemma"

That is her new thing, no matte`r how many times she sees

us, no matter that we were there the day she was born,

she walks into a home or you walk into hers and she says

proudly, "Hello, I am JEMMA!"

I have been thinking if she does this because people cannot 

seem to get her name right or because her and JOJO,

only 14 months apart and about the same size.

However, while you can blow on JOJO and knock her over,

this little Lady is solid.

She loves her Mommy and Daddy, and her Maw Maw

seems to be her favorite grandparent.

But to see this girl with her Momma is

so sweet, makes you feel like you have to look away

as her love is so full of emotion.

The other day, her Mommy comes to pick her up from the cottage,

she screams, "Mommy! Mommy is here!"

KD walks in and picks her up and as KD and I are talking,

Kd says "Look at this kid?"

The whole time JemJem is staring at her eyes,

hands on each side of her Mom's face, caressing her Mommy's face.

Will not stop staring at her,

That my friends, is pure unconditional love!

These pictures, they are our JemJem.

You will know her when you see her with the Triple J's

(What they call themselves)

While she is not always happy, has a tad of a temper...lol

Always posing for the camera and if that does not give

her identity  a clue for you, she will be the one

screaming, demanding acknowledgement,

"HELLO, I AM JEMMA!"

SEPTEMBER, CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS

Every year, in September, I make some type of post 

or blog on childhood cancer awareness.

Each year I think, "No one wants to hear this story again..."

Then today, I get my St. Jude Calendar in and am reminded

that if we don't talk about it, then donations stop.

So here I go, my yearly pledge to try and end childhood cancer.

1968, No internet, no facebook, no Go Fund Me accounts,

only one little girl, 5 years old born the baby of a large 

family and older parents. 

That day, everyone in my family has a different memory

and of course the stories I have been told through the years.

Five years old with an incurable, rare kidney cancer, Wilms' Tumor.

Funny as now this type of cancer is 90% curable but there

are still those who die from it.

I remember that something was wrong, and I was afraid

as I had never seen my Daddy cry, I remember

being told that instead of staying in Raceland we

were going to go to a bigger hospital in New Orleans.

I remember my Daddy tying a white handkerchief

to the antenna of the car, which was emergency protocol

back then. I was sick, I knew in my body I was very sick,

but my thought are only that of a 5 year old.

I remember thinking maybe I would die as my grandmother

had died just weeks before and I had recently learned

"you go away and you don't come back"

I can't remember pain, only fear.

Fear of the unknown remains my worst one.

WE  got to the big hospital of Touro and my Dad's sister

was there, Aunt GAGald, who lived in Chalmette.

Lots of chaos ensued until this one man walked

into my life. Dr. Fisherman.... What a doctor, what a man...

I was told later, as a teen that he had told my parents 

he had seen 10 cases of this type of cancer before and  none had

survived the 5 year survival mark.

My parents had not much, the hospital did not accept the 

Champus insurance my Dad had from the Military

but this man said, "Sign her over to me and I will never send you

a bill" They signed that paper and he never billed them.

In1968, there were no laws on how much radiation or chemo.

you could receive, this smart doctor had been following

procedures being done in other parts of the world that showed

more promise than the US treatment. I thank the Big Man

often for the fact that I was not diagnosed in 1969, when

the US banned how much radiation that could be used.

I may not be here today had it turned that way.

Dr. Fisherman tried radiation prior to and after surgery

and I and my family all believe that was the reason

I survived this cancer.

Yet, let me take myself and my readers back to the day

of surgery...

After 6 weeks of radiation where a 5 year old child was

told, do not move, not an inch, your Mom or dad will be

looking through that little glass window. I kept my

eyes focused on that little window and one of them were 

always there.

Then the day of surgery, I remember the baby bed being

wheeled to the big doors but I was not in it, I was

crying in my Mothers arms. I was a little thing, only

35 pounds at 5. I was screaming, my Mom was crying

and so was all the entourage that followed us to the

surgery suite that I called my family.

Finally it was time, time to let go of my Mother....

I had to be pried off of her, I don't know who was

holding on more, me or my Momma.

But I remember the words of this very kind surgical nurse,

she told my Momma, 

"I promise you, I will not put her down until she is asleep"

I looked into my mom's face who was staring at this nurse,

tears streaming down her face, nodding her head yes as 

she handed me over and I remember becoming calm then.

I remember the surgery suite and things that were being said

around me. I had a high fever and someone said

"we cannot put her to sleep like that"

I remained in the arms of that same nurse as she sat

on the surgery bed holding me.

Someone said to her,

"You have to put her down so we can prepare her"

and this nurse, wisely said,

"I promised her Mother I would not put her down until she

was asleep and I will not"

Then I remember the mask of ether ( I can still taste that stuff)

and I was out. 

I awakened to more strangers and pain and Dr. Fisherman.

Soon my family was around me and all was right in my world.

I could go on and on with so many things that happened in my

childhood related to this cancer. I keep saying I am working 

on my book, I know there is a book of my life that needs to be

written. Yet this is a blog and it has gone on long enough.

My story is one of so many other children past and present,

alive and passed, some similar some so very different.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness.

We have access to so much social media...

Donate in the name of a child who suffers from cancer,

donate in the name of my miracle,

Just don't forget that no matter how advanced treatment becomes

children and adults still die from cancer daily.

Thanks for reading a small part of my very long life.

Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for this life.

THINGS WE DIDN'T KNOW!

This blog is late in coming, but it is one of those that

when it happens it overwhelms you a bit and take time

to process it. This beautiful woman here,

a dear friend, closer now than ever, from school.

We went to Elementary through High school together.

We were never extremely close but I always thought

she was someone I could be friends with....

but I was a tad afraid of her back then.....

So, to begin the story.

A few weeks ago, she wanted to buy the piece,

Mother and child from me for a Momma who

had lost a child and was waiting for a "rainbow baby"  

(those lil babies that follow the one you lost).

That led to some text messages back and forth,

brought us to talking a little intimately

about our past and present.

This blog is about that, preceived notions we have of

someone and then we learn truths about the other.

For a moment, I was saddened of all the times

we probably could have enjoyed the company of 

the other but I was afraid of her. Then I find

her true story. 

You see, bullying existed way back when, even before

social media gave it a name. Our parent told us it was

teasing so we figured, "Hey part of growing up"

and we went on in our lives.

Polly was a bus-in from Grand Isle.

Which means each day she and the other GI kids took a bus

at whatever unGodly hour they had to, to get to

 school in Golden Meadow schools.

There was a childhood stigma around those children.

It was not right but honestly, it was there.

I was a happy- go-lucky child, I didn't think much of

what their lives consisted of, yet I knew most of them.

There were the two cute boys, a few others I didn't know

and their was Holly and Polly Pearson.

Polly and I were the same age and had classes together.

I admired her toughness, thought I could use some of that

being "teased/bullied" over being bald then having massive

curly hair. Where I found out in texting, Polly's ways was 

to be tough, I just laughed at it until I got home.

Not having social media, no one knew what my daily 

struggles were nor did they know Polly's.

Through my art, Polly and I have reconnected past just

being Facebook friends. As we texted about the "Mother and Child"

piece. The beauty in the blog is all in the texts we shared,

changed my outlook on things I believed as a child,

and just how off the mark is our assumptions.

Polly's texts are in Blue, mine in red:

...LOL I LOVE YOU POLLY!

BELIEVE IT OR NOT I AM A GOOD, SOFT HEARTED

PERSON. AND I KNOW WE COULD BE HANGING OUT BUDDIES...

THANKS MY LOVE, YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS SAW 

THAT IN YOU...

MOST PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND ME THEY THINK

I AM DISTANT OR COLD.

AT WORK THEY THINK I AM A BITCH HAHAHA

CAUSE I WANT IT DONE RIGHT THE FIRST TIME LOL.

YOU KNOW I THINK WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP,

SO MANY OF US WERE WHAT TODAY WOULD BE

CALLED BULLYING. I KNOW I WAS.

WE HAD TO BE TOUGH. I THINK THAT MOLDED US TO

BE STRONG. BUT I THINK YOU, LIKE ME, FIRST TIME

YOU HELD YOUR BABY, LIFE CHANGED.

OH WE WOULD SO GET ALONG FINE. I ALWAYS SAY

"IF EVERYONE DID IT MY WAY, IT WOULD BE A PERFECT WORLD."

HAHAHAHHAHA

LIVING IN GRAND ISLE BUT GOING TO SCHOOL ON THE

BAYOU I NEVER HAD A PLACE TO FIT IN. I GOT 

PICKED ON FROM BOTH SIDES. I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS

FROM LAFOURCHE PARISH SCHOOLS.

I WAS KIND OF A BULLY FOR SELF- PRESERVATION.

YOU HAVE ME! NOW LOL.

EVEN THOUGH I LIKED YOU, I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH

BUT I UNDERSTOOD IT. BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS 

TEASED. I JUST LAUGHED WITH THEM.

BOTH OF WERE SURVIVAL MECHANISMS.

I REMEMBER COMING HOME AND CRYING 

AND THANK GOODNESS I HAD A STRONG DAD

WHO WOULD REMIND ME EACH TIME,

"LIL IT DON'T MATTER WHAT THE WORLD THINKS OF YOU,

WHEN YOU COME THROUGH THIS DOOR YOU ARE LOVED"

I TRULY THINK THAT IS WHAT GAVE ME MY SELF-CONFIDENCE.

HI LILLY, I AM POLLY SO NICE TO MEET YOU AGAIN.

BEING A CANCER SURVIVOR AT 5 NO ONE KNEW WHAT

I WAS GOING THROUGH WITH TREATMENT.

NO FACEBOOK OR GO FUND ME ACCOUNT. 

SO I WAS BALD AND TEASED THEN GREW BACK CURLY

AND I WAS TEASED FOR THAT.

...SO VERY NICE TO BE FRIENDS NOW! SEE YA TOMORROW, MUAH!

I JUST REMEMBER THE CURLY HAIR AND ALL THE

FRIENDS I THOUGHT YOU HAD.

MY HEART IS HAPPY TODAY BECAUSE OF YOU.

THE INSIDE LOOKING IN.

AWE, AND MINE TOO.

FUNNY WE BOTH THOUGHT OUR LIVES WERE ONE WAY

AND EACH HAD OUR OWN DEMONS WE WERE FIGHTING.

LOVE YOU MORE NOW!

Then she mentioned me on Facebook, how we had shared the above,

I texted to say she made me cry, happy tears and that I felt a blog coming on.

AWE SO SWEET. IT IS FUNNY HOW WE ALL 

PERCEIVE OTHERS UNTIL WE GET TO TALKING...

And right there a new bond, a closer friendship, one that I want

to nurture and build on, has begun.

We met in Houma the next day, I with her art piece, she with

a small gift. A sunflower  shelf sitter with the cutest face.

I hugged her tight, told her I will see it daily near my coffee pot

and each day, I will smile and say a little prayers for "us".

I think we were both a little choked up right there in the parking

lot of the AMC Houma Palace theater.

The lesson here?

Don't judge people by what you see.

Be kind to all as none of us know the battles others are facing.

Thank you Polly, my friend, for opening my eyes and heart 

to see a wonderful friend who has been there all along!

A long blog, be kind to someone today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIFFANY!!

I have so many blogs to write, but some just cannot wait, this is 

one of them! My baby niece, my sister, my friend, has a birthday today!

So many thoughts and feelings in my mind over this whole

relationship we have.

In my life, she is the very one whom I can remember always, always

being there. I hope she can say the same about me.

Us being born one month shy of three years apart

(this has always upset us, as we have always believed we were two years apart)

she was always with me.

Can't understand what my life would be without her.

(Tiffy and her baby girl, Tedi years ago, her life, a little girl

who changed her life and made her who she is today)

Our lives have always been "together"

So many awesome childhood memories,

like when we wrote the song

'LEAVING ON A JET PLANE'

only to hear it play on the radio a few days

later and us being upset because someone "stole our song".

We played "Madame's"

We swam in the back yard pool Daddy built us,

we snuck out the house to go and meet Roxie in

the back of the street,

we snuck into GMJH together, and bothered nothing,

just were so excited we got in.

We spent many nights listening to music while 

rubbing each others backs.

We watched, in the winter, our nightgowns making

sparks of electricity under my Hollie Hobby sheets.

WE had many summers spending most days together,

those were not always the best times but 

we laugh about them now.

As we got older, there was going out to the Boat Shed,

parties with our significant others, more time spent together.

When I asked her to be Gypsy Baby's godmother,

she in return asked me to be her Tedi-girls Godmother.

I can say we both believe in the "Village to raise a child"

and we would both agree, we both helped each other raise

both our children.

( These early pictures can show how close we all were in age,

Myself, Tiffy and Celena, l from r)

(Jesi's Baptism)

When younger, she always looked up to me,

to being her supporter, as we got older I felt the same of

her. When she divorced Tedi's Dad, her life was in shambles,

we talked daily, I trying to help her through the worst parts.

I hope i succeeded because years later, going through

my own divorce, she was there for me. If I was having

a bad day she was either on her way to Plaquemine 

or on the phone with me.

When I moved into the Cottage, she spent days with me

unpacking, putting together my studio organization pieces

(thanks, I know they ate your lunch lol)

But more importantly, she was there, cheering me on for

each thing I accomplished on my own after 30 years of

marriage. We are great friends, we can tell each other

what we feel and still love each other.

We know after too much time together, we also need

a break from each other. Such was our vacation

to Tennessee in Willow..... yeah we had a blast and

sometimes drove each other crazy!

But such is our love for each other, we can get angry

with each other, aggravated with each other

and still know our love is unconditional.

She is one of my biggest fans, I am hers.

Lately we have not had enough time together,

we will try and fix that soon as we try to spend some

quality time together for a few nights thanks to

free rooms at LeBerge! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY DEAR NIECE.

I HOPE YOU ALWAYS KNOW AND FEEL MY LOVE FOR 

YOU, NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE YOUR PLACE....

EVEN THOUGH WE CAN DRIVE EACH OTHER CRAZY,

WHEN HARD OR GOOD TIMES COME, YOU ARE THE

FIRST I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH!

Enjoy your day my love,

I sooooo love you!