My thoughts on school shootings...

 It has taken my days to be able to even think about posting a blog

about the recent school shooting that took place in Texas.

With that being said, I still don't think my writings will make much sense.

One reason being, the whole thing does not make sense.

I was a school nurse for 12 years. It was some of the best years of my life.

If you know me, you know I love me some children, to the point 

that the grandgirls say if I get a van, I will be "way too creepy".

I was in an elementary school starting with 4 year olds.

If you have never watched a 4 year old cry out of fear to go through a metal detector,

Watch their faces when we practice for a lock down, its hard to grasp.

Yet it was necessary when a second grader brought a pocket knife to school and threatened others.

People who work in any public school system probably know

that there have been children that from the early ages, we can spot out

those that are troubled, and some even use the statement,

"That one will grow up to shoot up a school"

In the privacy of a discussion over some children.

I know this won't be accepted as a popular statement to most 

but the reason for pointing them out was to start intervention early,

"Let's help this child" but hands are tied by many in the school systems.

Getting them into counseling can only be done if the adult who is in charge

of that child consents. "Nothing wrong with my kid" was also a common phrase.

I have screamed it from long ago, not enough is done for mental health.

What if mental health was the norm, counseling was the norm?

Would it change the family dynamics? Would it stop some of the violence?

We don't know but what can we loose by trying it?

Using the word bully in school by any adult is frowned upon.

Why? you may ask? For many reasons.

One being the amount of paperwork an educator must do to use that word

is out of this world. It would all be worth while if something was done for 

the bully and the children who are part of his circle.

Yet rarely does it happen. A teacher, a principle already has so much to do

in a public school system including teaching, that when nothing gets done,

they want to just go home after a long day and enjoy their own children.

I was witness to a fourth grade class that had a new student that had been

removed from another school due to his behavior. 

Keep in mind, the average age of a 4th grader is 9.

This child was 13, 13! 

He had raging hormones and an even higher raging attitude.

He sexually harassed 9 year olds, overturned desks, threatened the teacher, etc.

All the while 20 something other kids were watching or being victim.

The teacher wrote him up each time, had him removed from her class,

but the next day, there he was sitting in a desk.

You see it is very hard to have a child removed from a school.

His previous school, it took months to get him out of their

and because of "No child left behind" you have to attempt to give him an education.

He got all the attention, negative as it was.

My point here was not about this Bully, although he was a traumatized kid.

My point was the little eyes, 44 in total that watched this.

They saw him getting away with it, they were also bullied by him.

They will grow up and these things will have a cause and effect on them.

Will they be labeled at a young age, and be teased by their peers?

We don't know. We do know that most school shooting perpetrators have been bullied

and/or had a hard life with very little if any counseling.

Many are talking about a solution, yes we all want a solution,

but we live in a World that is so divided on so many levels and to 

have a solution be successful, I believe we all need to want and work hard for the solution.

When a school shooting becomes mundane, a daily event there is a lot 

wrong in our Country. This school shooting has been tragic and like

most of you, I have cried real salt water tears over it.

Yet on the very long list of school shooting, I can almost bet, you have not heard of some.

I disagree that not being able to buy a gun would solve this problem.

A friend of mind suggested give every teacher a gun and another child in their class

will not die on their watch.

This sounds really good at first, but then you have to take into account,

the fact that grown ups have also been known to go into an employer and kill.

One officer on campus with a gun cannot take care of 1200 children.

By the time he gets where he needs to be, many could be dead.

I am sorry for my morning rant, as I am normally not the negative Nelly

of course this is all my opinions only.

I do know this, 19 children families will never be the same.

Too many funerals in one little town are to be had.

Many other children are affected by what they witnessed in that school.

Some parents and families are at the bedside of one of their own that was shot.

Everyone of the people in that town, "their village" has been affected.

The lasting affect of this tragedy has changed the dynamic of this town.

That keeps me up at night sometimes.

The shooter, yes he has a family too, this boy was also someone's baby at one point.

Compassion may be hard to find for his family in the wake of the tragedy

he caused to so many, but when you put your babies to bed at night,

think about what if it was your child? 

and pray..... pray like you never have prayed before.

It is one of the many things we can do.

THE CARDINAL

I have painted many a Cardinals for others

but I had never had my own Cardinal experience myself.

It is believed that when these beautiful red birds appear,

it is a visitor from heaven, a loved one is near.

After having lunch with Hughbee and sisters and niece

I stopped to buy a bird feeder for my studio window.

I always had so many squirrels and birds there and I knew I would

enjoy watching them as I painted.

I cleaned my window and hung it up, filled it with birdseed...

and waited, and waited.....

Yep, I waited some more.

I was discouraged. Not a bird or squirrel in site.

Two weeks passed, not a one.

Then Hugh died.

I was upset, distraught, so sorry for my family 

especially my sister, brother in law, and Hugh's immediate parents and siblings.

I did what always gives me comfort, I went into the studio to paint.

Tried to put some sense into our loss.

First I heard it, a singing bird, then I saw it, the most beautiful red Cardinal

singing away on my fence!

One single bird, not another inside. I sat in awe.

Thinking well this has been an experience, while the whole time I thought of Hugh.

It did not end there, this Cardinal had a sense of humor

Just like our Hugh. He would fly away right when I cam to take a photo

or video, and when I got back into my painting he would repeat the cycle.

Sometimes even hitting on the glass with his beak.

It took a few encounters before he would sit on the birdfeeder

but eventually he did and would sing and eat.

Again each time I picked up my phone, to get footage,

he flew aways. This process lasted for days.

The day after Hughbee's funeral, I got him on camera.

A video to be exact.

I had to retell the story many times as I am a believer

of when things like this happen to you, it is meant to be shared.

Moving forward to last weekend, I had JoJo, Lillian and Violet 

over for a sleep over. As we sat in the studio making art I told them

the story about the Cardinal and showed them the video.

Then in true fashion, as we all got busy once again,

we heard the tap on the glass, the singing of my Cardinal.

Allowing these little girls to believe and know that when a Cardinal 

is seen, a visitor from Heaven, a loved one is near.

 

People say, I am the lucky one.

 People say, I'm the lucky one....

They also may say,

"Woman stop bragging about your kids"

However, it's my blog, and it's Mother's Day.... so here I go.

My kids, MY KIDDO'S!

I know the two I birthed are mine so, therefore,

I think they are the best things and also the best things I have ever done in my life.

In my eyes, they are the best of myself and their Daddy.

They are not perfect, but as I used to tell them when they were young,

"I am perfect because when I make a mistake, I say I was wrong"

(yeah it used to work when they were young)

I try not to bother them much with my personal issues 

and I try to be there for them however I can.

The table were turned two weeks ago when Hugh died.

I was distraught when finding out and called Roddie first.

He did not hesitate, drove here and put me in his arms and just held me.

He let me cry then sat with me until I told him he could go.

He visited with me the next morning as well and we talked about the big stuff.

To see him and Katie not only there for our family but supporting

me and our people, not hesitating to show their true feelings as well.

Yes, I also was blessed with the best two daughter in laws...

Then my Jesi, My gypsy baby....

Her pain the last few weeks has been palpable to her Momma.

Yet, I watched her....

I watched her drive herself right to Thibodaux to be with family that needed her

as much as she needed them.

She stayed, she showed up, she brought food.

I watched her and Sweet D at the funeral, bringing comfort to as many as they could,

all the while she, trying to deal with her own loss.

She was amazing, greeting people, making sure Ellen and Owen were fed,

hovered around them sat with them during one of the hardest times of their lives.

It didn't end there, I watched in admiration as she was not afraid to show 

her tears, knowing it was okay. Sweet D never left her side,

holding and distributing kleenex to all who needed. 

I watched and thought, she is like me in so many ways, 

and also so much her in even more ways..

Sometimes it takes a tragedy to see another side of your family.

Sometimes it takes a tragedy to remember just how blessed we all are.

Sometimes so many miracles happen while we try and figure this crazy world out.

On this Mothers Day, I wish you all a wonderful day.

If you still have your Momma, let this day be the one

you put past hurts aside, even if you can't have her in your life,

let her know you are who you are, good or bad, because of her influence.

You will miss her... no matter how you love or feel about her now.

To my own Mother, there on the "other side"

You, my dear, are the reason I love the way I do.

Happy Mothers Day to my Daddy too, 

because as a youngster, it was he, untraditionally at the time,

who raised us last ones while my Momma worked.

There are lots of Daddies out there who deserve their own Mothers Day.

Thanks to Roddie, Katie, Jesi and Del,

I get to say, I am a Mother.

Hugh John Plaisance

 Our family is extremely fortunate and blessed.

For many reasons, one being although we are an extremely big family

we have found a way to stay very close.

We also have not lost many young people in our immediate family.

People in our family grow old and die and while we know this is what 

is supposed to happen in our time here on Earth,

we also know we will miss them tremendously.

So loosing my 24 year old nephew, Hugh John is not natural to us.

I am sure its not natural to any family to loose one of their young,

but for us, I cannot remember a time when I sat in a church to bury a child from our village.

With that being said, what a heartbreaking yet most beautiful thing

to watch so many of our extended families, friends, 

and the Plaisance family

come out to give us all comfort in a time that has been so unreal to us all.

The teachers and friends of Hugh and his siblings who have been there

in support of their family has been no less than awe-inspiring.

  I can't say enough, that this boy and his

parents and siblings did everything, everything to be well.

He wanted this life to be good for him if not amazing.

He and his parents searched treatments, counselors, inpatient help,

He tried everything to lift the hand of depression from his life.

Yet, like his Uncle, Father Justin shared with us all in his homily,

Hugh was sick and our God would never be angry about the fact that

the illness of depression called him home to his Savior.

God tells us when weathering the storm becomes too much

God will carry us. Hugh could no longer weather the storm

so he went to his God who he knew could carry him through.

There are no words I can say to ease the pain of Rebecca, Mikie"s and their children.

There is no amount of comfort I can give to my sister and to Miki's family.

I only know that if my pain and feeling of loss is this great for Hughbee

I can't imagine what theirs is.

Our families love deep, very deep....

So when we loose one of our tribe, our people, it hurts,

to the point that I personally think in this time of crisis,

I won't love that deep anymore, it hurts too much.

Yet, its not what this Aunt Lil does, what this Mumsie does.

Today 6 days later, I know my purpose and place in this family

what is expected of an Aunt Lil who loves the way I do.

I put my big girl panties on and I try to be there for as many of them as I can.

whether it be a card, a text, a phone call.

Now more than ever I want all my "youngen's" to know,

I will help you weather any storm. just call. 

RIP my dear Hughbee you will be so missed but 

we all feel comfort knowing your pain, this illness is gone now.

Life will never be the same again but because of you, we will

"Love deeper, speak sweeter and give forgiveness we have been denying...

We will live like we are dying"

Just as you did.

(Thanks everyone, EVERYONE who came to our and the Plaisance

family aid during this time, I hope you know how this has carried us all through this)