Thursday, April 15, 2021

Parenting vs. Grandparenting

Parenting Vs. Grand Parenting

One of my very good friends, Tina posted a wonderful post

just reflecting on her thoughts on the above topic.

She brought out such good points recognizing many 

differences she has seen and felt in her heart.

Tina and her hubby were great parents. 

I know this because their son is the epitome of

what a good Husband and Father should be.

A hard worker, just like his parents.

Her facebook message of reflection had me 

agreeing with so much she said.

I just had to share my thoughts on this subject.

Here is the paragraph I commented under her post.

 I Love your reflection and we tend to think with the same mind and heart. 

I have many times had to same perspective.

 I now believe, it is why so many say what they do about becoming a grandparent. 

As parents, we just cannot love the same as we do the next generation. 

We have too many responsibilities at that age for them, ourselves and our families.

 So I try not to regret the things I was unable to do 

for my children when compared to the grand girls.

 Yesterday, however my daughter called me and just in conversation

 she brought up how she feels we all need mental health days. 

She reminisced how much she always loved her birthday

 because on that day I always took off work 

and let her skip school to go on an adventure. 

I beamed inside. A wonderful memory for both of us.

 Yes my grandgirls, I hope will have many more memories and traditions

 surrounding Mumsie and the Cottage, but I didn't do so bad as a Momma. 

You and Tony did a wonderful job with your son.

 Just look at how he and his wife parent their babies.

 They learned it somewhere.....Hmmm thanks Tina, for the beautiful writing,

 it has sparked me to write a blog entry. Love you girl! 

It has been a great way to start my day.

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

BABY FEET

 Although I would agree that Facebook, Instagram, Tic Toc are
not always good places, not great for children, I have to also
say there are many positives as well.
Such as for me, being able to keep up with all my old friends,
cousins, family. Because of these sites I have actually
grown closer to many people that without these sites, 
I would have lost touch of. 
Today I speak of "BABY FEET'
I sometimes participate in a photo challenge on Facebook 
that was set up by my neighbor friend, Rita and her
family. There is a topic and you are to find or snap a photo
of how you interpret the topic.
Often in the morning, I am going through my 25,000 photos
on my computer to find just the right one.
It has me reminiscing on times I have forgotten, like how
much my Mom did with me, watching the grandgirls grow up
in a matter of minutes via pictures,
not to mention my task of organizing all these photos and deleting duplicates.
This morning the topic is feet.
As I scroll through my many photos, looking for a certain one,
 a time when Jilly as a baby used the side walk chalk to color the 
bottom of her feet. This photo is so special to me that I have
it framed in my bedroom, just a photo of her foot bottom up
and her little hand holding chalk with the foot completely colored.
I will paint it one day.....
So, as I am being unsuccessful in finding this very photo 
I am brought back down memory lane starting at the date
3/13/11 her birth date.
Friday she will be 10! 10!
but as the rules of the cottage go, none of them can have double
digit ages so it will actually be 1st anniversary to her 9th birthday here.
After her birth I come across her newborn photos
and this is the one I choose for my photo challenge:
 Baby feet! 
There is nothing more beautiful with the sweetest aroma
than baby feet, especially when they are covered
with the bands her parents promised their love and life
for her and future babies.
To think that these very same feet are the ones she 
will walk on for her entire life, until she is old and gray,
the ones that she walks on, dances on, tumbles on.
How they have grown just as she has,
a little mind boggling.
I pray that these little feet carry her through the best life
possible and I selfishly pray that I am there to witness it.

Thursday, February 18, 2021

What's a Karen?

 I am not sure when on where the title "KAREN" 
started from....
but now, whenever someone oversteps what the normal
person would do, they are called Karen.
While looking for a definition of this, I am struck
with the fact that there is actually a group of people:
"a member of a group of people of eastern and southern Myanmar"
However, in our world of today this is not what
"being a KAREN" means.
I don't have a definition but we all know what
being a Karen looks like.
Valentine's Day, boo and I sitting down where we spend
most of our Valentine's at, (don't want to mention name of
restaurant and be labeled a Karen)
We are looking forward to a quiet little corner to talk and 
enjoy the food, and I, for bottomless Mimosa's
We did a brunch so as to be home before the freeze
begins that is so unusual for our South Louisiana area.
Soon, we get our appetizers, we love them
but we also begin to hear loud speaking from the kitchen area.
We are close to the kitchen but not on top of it.
The noise get louder and as I make eye contact with
another customer at the table 6 feet away,
we realize their is an argument going on in the kitchen.
It is not just a one word argument, it is a full, loud
argument between more than two people.
I call over one of the waitresses as by now, it has
gone on for a few minutes and no let up is noted.
"Can you please close the door to the kitchen or
ask the arguers to take the business to another place
we don't want to hear that on Valentine's day"
She has not yet heard the argument but she says
will take care of it.
As she makes her way to her other customer she
hears what we hear, excuses herself from her
patrons and goes to the kitchen. 
Almost immediately, the fussing is stopped.
I look at Randy and I ask.
"Does that make me a Karen?"
No he answers.
Then we have a conversation over what makes someone
a Karen. We decide that had I gotten up, went in to the
kitchen and asked them to take it somewhere else,
that would have made me a Karen. 
I perhaps would have done that.....
but I am proud to say, I did it the right way...
In Boo and I's eyes anyway.
This brings on other conversations,
"What is a Karen really?"
"What is the male version of a karen?
(I looked it up, internet says Ken)
All this story to say, I have seen
a few Karen's since then. 
I am still trying my best to thank the people who help me,
letting them know I appreciate them.
We were without electricity for 30 something hours.
Because I have a home generator and a gas fireplace
I was okay. I was worried about my neighbors, 
offered my home to some. When the electical workers
came to my yard, right outside my studio, to change
wires that had to be replaced, I opened a window
and thanked them, offered them coffee.
My neighbor, Rhonda had already served them hot chocolate
so they turned down my coffee.
I think they thought I may fuss them,
I told them how appreciative I was as its cold out 
and I know they wished they could be home and warm.
They thank me saying not everyone is as understanding.
I laugh and say having a generator makes it a little easier for
me to be grateful. Uncomfortableness brings out the worst in some.
Our electricity is restored but my internet and TV is not.
I am not a big TV person but my internet is crucial.
I cannot get it rebooted so I call ATT and speak to a person.
It seems a technician has to come out and the first available
day is Saturday.... Saturday? I have the grandgirls from
Thursday to Saturday am, I don't let them watch tv or get on
iPads except for at night but won't be none of that here.
I could have complained, 
instead I thanked her even though my insides were
screaming "Karen"
We shall wait and in due time all will be well...
patience it's what I am trying to practice.
BE patient.

Thursday, February 11, 2021

AMBER ALERT


 Sunday night at approximately 1:15 am 
my emergency sound went off on my phone.
Boo was here for the night and we were both asleep.
When that warning sound went off we both 
immediately rolled to opposite sides of the bed
to check the message.
There we had both just received the Amber Alert
with the description of the car, etc.
We both said aloud,
" Amber Alert" as we read the text.
We then both settled down and I could not sleep.
My thoughts wondered to the poor child
that was not safely in her bed on this early Sunday am.
I worried about the parents, family who must be so afraid.
I decided prayers were in order and so I said a prayer
for the child, the parents, I even said one for the 
perpetrator to return the child close to home unharmed.
Too many times these do not end up in the way
they should. Prayers went out for the very best outcome,
a rescue. Two trash pickup drivers had also got
the Amber Alert and when they saw a car parked in the
field, they remembered that alert and possibly 
have saved that child's life.
Happy ending, prayers answered, hero's in the making.
Yet my story is not finished.
I was shocked to find and also hear boo speak of all
the facebook complainers saying things like
"Darn Amber Alet"
"I had just got to sleep when that Amber Alert woke me up"
"Why do they wait until 1:00am to send those amber alerts"
So many complaints.
Yes, there were probably just as many that felt like me,
but just the fact that someone would be disturbed by being
notified of a missing child, no matter what time, unnerves me.
My thoughts were, "hmmm if it were your child..."
Come on "Karen's"
this is a life, this is a child, have we become so used to 
things that we can't see an emergency from a political text.
I will end with this.
The next time you are hit with an Amber alert,
remember how serious this is. Remember that very few 
children abducted make it home safe.
When they do make it safe, rarely are they the same child
that they were before the abduction.
Remember the reason for the Amber Alert,
the poor child and her family that the project was named after.
Say a prayer, if you don't pray, take a minute to send good thoughts
to all involved. Pay attention to the details as this man who
found the child was aware that the car that had been explained
in the alert was similar to the one he saw.
Let us not become a society that is so filled with mundane things
that we don't take these alerts seriously.
This child now safely sleeps in her own bed, with 
her loving family surrounding her. 
She is safe once again.
Not all are so lucky.
in memory of:
AMBER HAGERMAN
11/25/86-1/17/96
RIP



Monday, February 8, 2021

being patriotic in today's world.

A few days ago I went to visit two very good 
and close friends, You may have read something I have written
in the past about them,
I call them Hubster and Sister Wife, Linda and Lionelle.
They are two of my very best friends here in Plaquemine
and they got their names when I became single and Hubster
helped me so much with things I needed help with at
the Cottage. When I got sick, they loaned me their pulse Ox
machine (they both had Covid before me, thankfully didn't need
hospitalization) Linda picked up prescriptions I needed while
I was sick, made me a chicken soup
 and when I got back from the hospital with very little 
appetite, it was Hubster and sister wife I called to 
pick me up the only thing I was craving, Ritz Cracker and Rouse's chicken salad.
Delivered almost before I could hang up the phone.
When you have friends like this, consider yourself blessed
I am blessed to have many.
Long introduction to where I am going with this.
As I was leaving their home after finally visiting and returning
things they loaned me they followed me outside as they normally
do. Linda reminded me that my brake tag was expired
(for the third year in a row, lol)
and Hubster began to show me his new telescopic flag pole.
Oh my!!! I immediately had to have one!
Sister wife went me the link and it has been ordered

Once it comes in, it will be hubster to help me cement it in.
I had been looking for a pole such as this for a long time.
I didn't want a flag pole on my cottage and
I wanted a pole that I could raise and lower by myself.
This one does just that. To say I was excited was beyond belief.
Now to get to the meat of the blog.
My Daddy fought in WWII. It was many years before I was born
but he did have little children at home. My Mom ran their 
bar room and raised the children in that said bar.
I do not know exactly how many years he was in war,
but he was shot in his leg and which went through one thigh
and into the other lodging somewhere in the second thigh.
He told us many times, it was the best day of his life.
He knew he was either coming home or was going to die.
He had already lost his younger brother to the war and
many cousins and friends. 
As I came into this family when my parents were 43 and 45
I was a spoiled treasure to them and to my 6 siblings.
We always had a flag up. Sometimes it was on a pole,
when my second brother returned for Vietnam, it was 
a large flag place right one the front of our home,
spread out for all to see our brother was coming home.
We were a very patriotic family.
As I grew up, having had my Dad, two brothers who served
and then my exhubby who served, and knowing many others
who also served I wanted a flag that long ago.
WE always talked about wanting one, but we just never did it.
Then came the day that my sisters and my Mother decided
to take a trip to visit my oldest brothers burial site.
Although he died of lung cancer a few month before the visit,
he had also served during the Vietnam crisis.
His children live in Texas and they decided they wanted him buried
in a military graveyard.
My mom by this time, was 89 and dementia was beginning to
reek havoc on her brain. 
Myself and my sisters, My Mom and my brothers children and their Mother
were joyful before we got to the cemetery.
Yet the minute you began to walk the cemetery there was a peace
of the place. I got the sense, that no talking was needed here,
all these thousands of gravesites was someone who had
 fought for our Country, for our freedom and either died in that battle,
or like my brother died many years later but served his country.
We did not know how Momma was going to take seeing the 
grave site of her second oldest child, her first son.
AS we all walked up to his place, we took a step back and my Mother,
all 120 pounds of her found his name and we were witness to 
one of the most saddest and proudest times of my life.
She placed her hand on his cold piece of marble and cried.
Tears running down her face she traced his name with
her finger. IT was not what we expected but we let this 
Mother and Child have their time before we too, went to comfort her.
This day will forever be etched in my mind.
No words had to be spoken as the silence said it all:
No parent should ever have to bury their child.
On that day, still too long ago, I knew
I wanted a flag, talked about it, looked for the perfect one,
but still years passed. I rarely watch the news, it scares me and
I never know what is real and what is not, but while I was in the
hospital, days before the inauguration, with nothing
else to to I put the TV on CNN.
It was the very first time I was the breaking in to our
Nation's Capitol, in to the Senate area.
I believe in freedom to march and stand for what you 
believe in, but breaking in, going up to the podium 
covered in animal fur, wanting "selfies"
using our American flag to drape their bodies
in it for more photos, I was sickened.
I was for the first time, embarrassed to be an American.
That flag, that symbolized all the Peace and Freedom my 
Father and Brothers and many others faught for,
being Mocked by people who broke in to a place
they had no business being at that time.
Again, my blog, my opinion.
I cried, right there in my hospital bed, maybe having a
lot to do with the fact that both myself and KD's
dad, Frank were getting better. 
That day I KNEW this flag business was going to happen.
I didn't care how it was going to hang but It was
going to be in my yard for all to see to see
I am a a Proud American.
The fact that days later I find the pole I need
Tells me many above me including the Big Man agree.



Friday, February 5, 2021

2021 Be....

 Remember that blog of the New Year?
When I picked my word for the year 2021?
Crazy how it seems so long ago.
I left on Jan 1, 2021 to go to my sister and BIL camp
Came home on the 3rd feeling very sick 
and was diagnosed with Covid pneumonia on the 4th.
Longes month of my life....
I have said it aloud and said it to myself, 
I have written about it and thought a lot about it...
Covid has changed me. I thought,  maybe at first
it was a temporary thing just being grateful for Frank and I's
health but my thoughts remain different from how I
felt prior to becoming a statistic.
BE......
it is still my word for the year....
BE who you are, don't let others change how you feel about anything but,
 BE a good listener, if another has a good point that you have
not contemplated be open to change.
BE someone you would be proud to know.
BE kind to everyone, let others know you appreciate them.
BE quiet when you feel a disagreement coming on,
let another become peaceful before bringing up a problem.
I am still a little unsure of just how much I want to share
about the changes in me. I know some will not agree
and others will think my Covid Brain is still not clear.
I will say this,
Before getting Covid, I wore a mask most times but 
now I am a mask wearer all the time. I do not want to 
ever have to go through Covid again, I also
don't want to take the chance of ever giving this to anyone else.
Before Covid, BC as the boo calls it,
I was not going to receive the immunization.
Now, I have my name on a list to receive it when I can.
My doctor said I have to wait 90 days after having Covid
before I can get it but said she recommends me getting it
because I may not be as lucky with another bout of this virus.
I have my name on a list at my pharmacy for when my time comes.
I will end with one more be
BE proud of your beliefs and your choices so as to stand behind
them.


Wednesday, February 3, 2021

COVID BRAIN

In the last few years, I have heard and read a lot
about Chemo. brain. It interested me at the time because
when i returned to school after surviving cancer,
although my Daddy had done a great job making sure I 
could read and do simple math, I struggled in some subjects.
My siblings always had good report cards and I 
struggled in Math, History, Geography and still do.
I loved Reading, writing, spelling and was an overachiever there
but was always embarrassed about my grades
in those other subjects. Boo would say I still struggle with
directional issues. I never know where I am at.
Although this is funny, its really true, that he and I can go
somewhere ten times and I still can't tell you how to get there
and the only time I feel comfortable going anywhere is with
my trusty GPS. I now understand why before GPS I
rarely drove off the bayou and if I went to NOLA I was so proud
of myself if I made it home safely. 
All that explanation to say, Covid Brain seems to be something
like chemo. brain.
Every day is so much better than the day before but my mind
is not right. Some would say my brain has never been right lol.
Yesterday, was one of those Covid brain moments.
Two days ago I went to the bank, made a deposit and at
my bank you have to give your account card and your 
drivers license which I did.
Yesterday, I went to the pharmacy and when I open my wallet
I realize my drivers license is not there.
I begin to wonder where in the heck it could be.
I am very conscientious about returning things where they go
right when I am done with them so not having my
drivers license there shakes me up a bit.
I realize I must have left it at the bank, so I drive up to
the window and I explain my dilemma.
The teller begins searching all the places they put things
people forget to no avail. She was the teller who had helped me
and she says she is almost sure she returned it to me.
"I don't even have my deposit slip..."
She feels bad, I feel frantic, she leaves to go look in
another spot. I finally think, well let me look in my car,
and low and behold, there is my bank envelope in the
pocket of my car door along with my drivers license and 
my bank account paper AND my deposit slip.
Embarassing to say the least......
I have to wait for my poor teller to come back to the window
from wherever she is searching to tell her I found it in my car....
Soooo unlike me.
"I found it, I am so sorry...."
She seems as relieved as I am.
What else can I say? My bad? Covid Brain? 
No, she knows I have been sick,
" I appreciate you"
my mantra....
Covid Brain, a real thing.
Happy Day friends. 




Parenting vs. Grandparenting

Parenting Vs. Grand Parenting One of my very good friends, Tina posted a wonderful post just reflecting on her thoughts on the above topic. ...