Facing the changes of getting older

Growing older, it's a strange thing.

For instance, when did I become 57 and why did I not know this?

Why does my body understand this and yet the mind feels much younger?

Ages have never really bothered me...

until recently.

It's small things that get me in the gut when I am not looking.

Like how can I have two children in their 30's?

How can my oldest grand girl be 10?

(or like I tell her, at the Cottage, no double digits she just had her 

first anniversary of her 9th birthday)

Why is my hair volume growing smaller but my nose gets bigger?

Why do I awake energized but when I try and get out of bed the body resists?

Why do I love my own company more as each day passes but

I long to see old friends, sit and visit with those said friends over coffee?

Why, do I awaken before the sun rises and want my Pj's and bed before 

that said sun goes down?

Why does the image in my head of my facial features not match

the view I see in the mirror?

Wrinkles are a strange thing as well.

Although I don't fret over that much, why when I put on makeup

to cover imperfections do more wrinkles exist?

But the one thing that seems to be the biggest challenge with getting older

is not the number the birth certificate says but the way

my mind tries to figure how much longer I have on this God given Earth.

"Will I still be here when the grandgirls are adults?"

"Will my children visit me as I get old and frail?"

"What is after this life and why do I fear the unknown of that afterlife?"

I can add questions probably daily but overall,

If i had to be honest, it's a pretty sweet life I lead.

Yes, the body is not what it used to be but the mind remains.

I am as content with how my life is turning out as I am with the

changes that come with age.

It's a good life and a peaceful life no matter what face stares back 

at me in the mirror.