MY NAMESAKE.

Twelve years ago, when my niece Minta was pregnant

for her first child, she asked me if it would be alright 

to name her unborn baby girl, Lillian.

Both she and her hubby Duane had Aunt Lillian.

I was deeply honored to think a child would be born and carry 

my name and I am sure Duane's Aunt Lillian was as well.

She is my sister, Simone's grandchild, one of three of her grandgirls.

As Mone prepared to die I made her a promise.

That I would be there for Minta and make sure her little girls 

were looked after.

Yesterday I asked if Lillian could come after Christmas shopping with me.

My grandgirls had plans already so it would be just her and I.

When she was very young she used to spend lots of time with me.

Then divorce, moving, busy with art got me with less time.

Just as always, the less time you spend with someone, the easier

it is to put it off.

Yet I was determined to carry out my promise to my sister.

I cannot even begin to explain the great day we had yesterday.

Going from one store to another shopping the 70 percent off sales,

showing her the best bargains and how things could be used 

all year even if it was marked Christmas.

She was like a sponge, absorbing all I took time to explain to her.

When she said, "My favorite place to eat is pricey"

We both said "PF CHANG'S!"

and that it was for the win! 

There were so many things we talked about, 

funny things, not so funny things, 

babies and just how the body is a miracle.

About my own daughter and her wife and what it means to be gay

in the world of today.

Teachers and friends, boys and idiots.

Popular girls who are still nice to all.

So many conversations.

I miss my sister terribly, to loose a sibling is like loosing 

a part of your childhood.

But to have this girl and her sister back in my

everyday life is something I may not have gotten if she

would have continued to suffer on this Earth.

We can't all live forever, as Dr. Phil says,

"It would get really crowded..."

So I try to look for the blessings of saying goodbye to a loved one.

Lillian is definitely one of those blessings.