Wherever you are...

 "WHEREVER YOU ARE, BE THE SOUL OF THAT PLACE"

I just read this sentence and it struck me...

Wherever you are, be the soul of that place.

Last week I had someone pick up something I had sold

on Market place. It was a local person who knows my

KD's family so I felt safe to have her pick up at the  Cottage.

Her car was running and her two girls were in it.

She thought she was going to just run in and pick up,

Oh but I started talking... and she started talking,

and before we knew it, I was giving her and her two girls,

who by now had joined us inside, the tour of the Cottage.

I am so very proud of my simple but quaint little Cottage

and each time I get to give the tour, or have friends or kiddie's

gather I am able to once again see the beauty of this place.

My new friend and her two girls gave me a piano concert

and before they left we had mutual people we knew and

were facebook friends. She stayed so long that her hubby,

who made the purchase was worried that he had sent them

to some crazy persons home... that may be true but I am harmless, lol.

I pray that I am always willing to open my doors to people 

and when they leave, they are happier than when they came,

that they find some contentless in the little things of life,

that I share whatever goodies and wise words I have thought of

as they visited. But I know one thing, I am...

The Soul of Mumsie's Cottage.

"BE THE SOUL OF WHEREVER YOU ARE."

TO THE LEAST OF MY BROTHERS...

 He was unshaven and disheveled,

When I saw him pull over to go through the pile

of "unwanted" that I was making in front of the Cottage.

As I approached him to add more to the pile

I said to him, "Take whatever you want"

so as not to scare him away.

He looked up at me shyly and I continued to talk

so as not to embarrass or scare him away.

"I am just trying to clean up some of these many books and toys

the Grandgirls have accumulated here."

He asks about a few things in the pile and then shares

that he is raising his 8 and 11 year old grandchildren

and it was a "Poor" Christmas.

I continue to make conversation so he also shares

that his wife was in the Attic on Christmas morning and

fell through and broke both her legs and is now 

awaiting surgery at their home.

I can see the worry on his face, the tiredness around his eyes.

"And you have two little ones?"

He rolls his eyes and adds, "... and their Mom"

It can't be a good situation.

I tell him again he is welcomed to anything out there

and I leave so as not to stop him.

As I go inside the Cottage I can't stop thinking about this man,

those children the same age as my own grands,

I have so much, I am so blessed....

I grab money out of my wallet and look out the window

to make sure he is there. I want to share the money I just

received from painting Cardinals but he is gone...

Then I am reminded of something I was taught at religion,

that story of the poor man who goes up to the rich king and is 

turned away while he gives to the rich.

Maybe that was my chance to be a disciple.

"WHATS SO EVER YOU DO TO THE LEAST OF

MY BROTHERS, THAT YOU DO UNTO ME."

#searchchances2022

MY NAMESAKE.

Twelve years ago, when my niece Minta was pregnant

for her first child, she asked me if it would be alright 

to name her unborn baby girl, Lillian.

Both she and her hubby Duane had Aunt Lillian.

I was deeply honored to think a child would be born and carry 

my name and I am sure Duane's Aunt Lillian was as well.

She is my sister, Simone's grandchild, one of three of her grandgirls.

As Mone prepared to die I made her a promise.

That I would be there for Minta and make sure her little girls 

were looked after.

Yesterday I asked if Lillian could come after Christmas shopping with me.

My grandgirls had plans already so it would be just her and I.

When she was very young she used to spend lots of time with me.

Then divorce, moving, busy with art got me with less time.

Just as always, the less time you spend with someone, the easier

it is to put it off.

Yet I was determined to carry out my promise to my sister.

I cannot even begin to explain the great day we had yesterday.

Going from one store to another shopping the 70 percent off sales,

showing her the best bargains and how things could be used 

all year even if it was marked Christmas.

She was like a sponge, absorbing all I took time to explain to her.

When she said, "My favorite place to eat is pricey"

We both said "PF CHANG'S!"

and that it was for the win! 

There were so many things we talked about, 

funny things, not so funny things, 

babies and just how the body is a miracle.

About my own daughter and her wife and what it means to be gay

in the world of today.

Teachers and friends, boys and idiots.

Popular girls who are still nice to all.

So many conversations.

I miss my sister terribly, to loose a sibling is like loosing 

a part of your childhood.

But to have this girl and her sister back in my

everyday life is something I may not have gotten if she

would have continued to suffer on this Earth.

We can't all live forever, as Dr. Phil says,

"It would get really crowded..."

So I try to look for the blessings of saying goodbye to a loved one.

Lillian is definitely one of those blessings.

CHRISTMAS MAGIC

Most of my Christmas decor is picked up and ready for the attic.

As i pack all these things up for the next year

I am reminded once again of my own Christmas holidays.

How each year those old ornaments, flower arrangements

and door coverings were there each year.

Our home was big, nothing fancy just big, but we did not

have an attic and my Dad insisted on saving everything

"In case someone needed it".

So there were things all over, yet come Christmas season

my Momma would know exactly where to go to

get those beautiful ornaments, tinsel, and lights.

I never watched where she would store them nor

did I ever think about it until today when picking up my own decorations.

This, my dear friends, was  a small part of Christmas magic. 

TELL YOUR STORY

IF YA KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I LOVE WORDS.

I LOVE THE SOUND OF THEM, THE SPELLING OF THEM,

THE WAY THEY CAN BE PUT INTO A CERTAIN ORDER

AND PULL ON THE HEART STRINGS OF OTHERS,

WORDS CAN CHANGE THE ENTIRE MOOD OF SOMEONE...

and yet, we so seldom use them...

As I contemplate the book that I insist on publishing by

next year at this time I find this song by

TATE MCRAE:

"An Original Song About Life"

Lately I've been thinkin' 'bout my life

And all the things that never seem to cross my mind

Maybe 'cause I'm sort of scared of time

And that there's not enough of it

It only hit me now

I'm only young right now

Won't live a day feelin' down

And, yeah, it took a while

It waited on the side

'Til I screamed out asking how

There's never gonna be a better story to tell

It only hit me now

We're only young right now

Won't live a day feelin' down

And, so, it's been a while

It waited by the side...

There's never gonna be a better story to tell

All I'm sayin', no time for breakin'

Everyone's fadin' now

All I'm sayin', live for the moments

Don't waste your time right now

There's never gonna be a better story to tell

What beautiful words to live by as I also have been 

thinking lots about growing old, staring into the mirror

way too much wondering how those small lines got around

my lips, I didn't smoke so this would not be an issue, 

and yet, there they are.

Learning about Geriatrics in Nursing school at the age of 18,

well I didn't really think about just how fast it happens once

you hit a certain age. Yet with every line, every dark spot,

every extra pound of fluffiness, I have a story to tell.

Yes, my back is crooked and I have surgical scar lines,

it's my testament to surviving cancer as a child.

Yes I have "11 forehead wrinkles" 

Its my testament to using facial expressions to get my 

points across to my two grown children who have grown up to be such great humans.

Yes,  the curve of my lips seem to be drooping it's a testament

to lots of smiling and laughing in my life.

Aging is a weird and wonderful thing and although

sometimes it seems hard to understand I am fortunate that I get to 

live through this phase of life, not everyone does.

HOLD ON 2022

"THERE'S NEVER GOING TO BE A BETTER STORY TO TELL"

AND I WILL BE TELLING MINE.

 

DECK THE HALLS...

DECK THE HALLS WITH THE TRIPLE J GOOFBALLS!

It's finally time for a party at the Cottage.

The grandgirls are here, spent the night as preparing

for a gathering with their friends takes a lot of work.

Sister C is also here to assist and Maw Maw will be here a little

later to also help with the fun.

It is an honor for me to be able to host a party for 

The Grands and their friends.

Each thing I have made, that they have prepared has them

so excited for the events.

As they decorated bags for popcorn for their peers,

wrapped present after present,

they spoke of each friend individually.

They are so fortunate to have so many close friends whose parents

will allow them the come to the Cottage.

One of my biggest hopes is that I can continue to do these things

not only for them but with them.

As we prepared to call it a day they spoke of how excited they were for today.

Well except Jemma, she just was all about the cuddles and sleeping 

with Aunt C. 

I just know that today we will add more memories to their

nostalgia bank and that either a smell or a thought 

will come to them as an adult and they will

remember the days at Mummies Cottage for parties and friendship.

I just know these girls will be blessed with besties 

just as I am after all these years.

 

I'M OKAY WITH A RING POP

THERE IS A NEW POP SINGER ON THE AIR WAVES

THAT GOT HER START ON TIC TOC.

SHE STARTED AS MAKING PARODY'S WITH OTHERS SONGS

AND HAS NOW BEGAN TO RECORD HER OWN SONGS.

JAX IS HER NAME AND ONE OF HER OWN IS CALLED

RING POP. 

"I'M OKAY WITH A RING POP"

THIS SETS THE STAGE FOR THIS PRECIOUS GIFT 

GIVEN TO ME BY JOJO.

LAST EVENING AS WE ALL SETTLED ON THE COTTAGE FLOOR 

TO EXCHANGE GIFTS I WAS BLESSED WITH THREE

BEAUTIFUL HANDMADE GIFTS.

NONE MORE SPECIAL THAN THE OTHER, 

EACH AS DIFFERENT AS SNOWFLAKES.

JOLEE HANDS ME THIS SPECIAL WRAPPED GIFT

AND AS I BRAG ON THE SKILLS OF THE WRAPPER

SHE PROUDLY SAYS, "I WRAPPED IT MYSELF"

SHE LOOKS ON IN HER SHY WAY AS I BEGIN UNWRAPPING

ALMOST SEEMING AS THOUGH SHE WRAPPED IT SO LONG AGO

THAT SHE DOES NOT REMEMBER WHAT IS IN IT.

THERE IN THAT BOX SO LOVINGLY GIFTED IS A STUFFED ANIMAL

I AM ALMOST SURE IS ONE SHE WON IN A CLAW MACHINE

AND YES, A RING POP...

SHE IS A TAD UPSET WHEN I JOKINGLY ASK HER IS SHE

GOT THAT RING POP OUT OF MY SNACK BOWL.

"YOU DON'T HAVE THAT IN THERE"

OH JOLEE YOUR GIFT HAS MADE ME THE PROUDEST MUMSIE

AND 

"I AM OKAY WITH A RING POP"

 

The loving plate

I had a bigger plate in the spare bathroom for years.

During Ida my godchild, Tedi was here and loved the idea so I gifted it to her.

Yet I missed that plate so much.

It was a place to leave sweet nothings to others.

A few months after, I was looking for something to give my coffee friends

and I found a smaller version at Tuesday morning.

I had to buy an extra for my spare bathroom.

It did not get used as much as the older one did but it was there

for me to leave love notes to visitors.

I forget about the plate sometimes but it always has a dry erase pen 

ready and willing to be a part.

Yesterday while cleaning up in there I see this message from Jilly.

Anyone who knows me, knows my main goal as a Mumsie

is to leave enough memories in their hearts so as always to be a part of them.

This note shows me I am doing a lot right.

It is not so much her sentiment that pulls at my heart strings

but also how much she absorbs all the things we speak of.

for instance, I always sign my name instead of writing LOVE with a heart.

Here she does the same. the AKA is especially memorable for me.

One time while looking at an art piece I had painted she turns it over and sees

LILLY AKA MUMSIE

She asks what exactly does AKA mean.

I go on to explain that because I have many titles to different people

I add AKA which stands for  "Also Known As" and sign Mumsie.

She makes no more comments or asks no more questions about this.

Time has passed since that conversation.

So to see it here displayed has me "Verklempt"

(old SNL word, sorry for the spelling)

I choose to believe she uses it in other places as well 

and tells her friends what AKA means.

They are listening my readers, keep teaching.

 

THE PROBLEM WITH SHARING A MEMORY

 ONE OF THE ISSUES I HAVE HAD WITH THE JOURNALING

AND WRITINGS OF MY PAST IS MAKING SURE

IT IS FACTUAL AND NOT JUST HOW I SEE IT 

IN MY MIND AND HEART.

I REMEMBER LONG AGO READING A BOOK CALLED

 A MILLION LITTLE PIECES

IT WAS A BEST SELLER AND AN OPRAH BOOK CLUB READ.

HE WAS EVEN ON OPRAH, ONCE TO PROMOTE HIS BOOK

AND THE NEXT TIME TO DEFEND HIS BOOK.

IT WAS SAID THAT IS WAS LISTED AS A AUTOBIOGRAPHY

WHEN IN FACT THERE WAS LOTS OF FALSE STATEMENTS.

THE BOOK WAS ABOUT HIS ENCOUNTERS WITH HIS DRUG ADDICTION.

I REMEMBER BACK THEN SHARING WITH JESI 

THAT ALTHOUGH IT MAY NOT HAVE ALL BEEN TRUE,

IT WAS HIS MEMORY OF THOS HARD TIMES.

WE ALL KNOW THAT THERE ARE ALWAYS THREE SIDES 

TO EVERY STORY. THE TRUTH ONE IS THE ONE THAT SUFFERS

WHEN WRITING A BOOK.

IT HAS BEEN ONE OF THE REASONS I HAVE BEEN HESITANT

TO PUBLISH MY OWN CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF 

SURVIVING CANCER AND GROWING UP IN A BIG HOME.

THESE ARE MY MEMORIES AND I HAVE NO WAY OF 

KNOWING JUST HOW TRUE THEY ARE.

THEN RECENTLY WHILE LISTENING TO A PODCAST 

AN AUTHOR SPOKE ABOUT HER MEMOIR.

I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE SHE GOT THIS CERTAIN DEFINITION

BUT IT WAS IMPACTFUL TO ME.

MEMOIR: A WORK OF IMPERFECT MEMORY

IN WHICH YOU METICULOUSLY CAPTURE ALL

THAT YOU CAN RECALL AND USE INFORMED 

IMAGINATION TO FILL IN WHAT REMAINS.

A LIGHTBULB MOMENT AS IT GAVE ME REASON 

TO PROCEED WITH MY WRITING,

COMBING THROUGH JOURNALS AND OLD BLOGS

TO SHARE MY MEMORIES WITIH OTHERS.

2022 I SEARCH MY HEART AND SOUL TO MAKE

A MEMOIR TO SHARE WITH OTHERS.

Mumsie Cottage memories

 I MADE A PROMISE TO MY SISTER 

AS SHE PREPARED FOR THE NEXT PHASE OF HER LIFE.

I PROMISED HER THAT I WOULD DO MY BEST TO BE

IMPORTANT IN HER LITTLE GRAND GIRLS LIVES.

TO BE THERE FOR MINTA WHEN SHE NEEDED A MOMMA FIGURE.

SINCE THEN I HAVE HAD VIOLET OVER FOR A SLEEP NIGHT

AND THIS FRIDAY I HAD LILLIAN SLEEP OVER WITH JILLIAN.

THEY USED TO BE SO CLOSE WHEN TODDLERS AND IT SEEMS

LIKE THEIR BOND IS STILL INTACT.

AS WE BAKED AND MADE THINGS IN THE KITCHEN,

THE CONVERSATION WENT IN MANY DIRECTIONS.

ONE OF THEIR ANTICS WAS KEEPING THE COTTAGE

AFTER I DIE AND LETTING IT BE LIKE THEIR CAMP,

WHERE THEY AND THEIR SIBLINGS COULD COME

AND JUST HANG OUT AND DO

 "ART STUFF TO KEEPIT TRUE TO THE COTTAGE"

WELL OF COURSE THIS SPARKED MY HEART.

SO I WENT ON A LIMB AND ASKED JILLY THE QUESTION 

I WILL ALWAYS WANT ANSWERED AS IT IS MY MAIN GOAL

WHEN SPENDING TIME WITH THE GRAND GIRLS:

"WHEN I AM GONE, WHAT WILL YOUR MEMORIES BE AT THE COTTAGE?"

JILLIAN WALKS OVER TO ME, HUGS ME AND DOES A PROPER

IMITATION OF HER MUMSIE.

"HEY POOKIE, I LOVE YOU POOKIE" AND KISSES THE TOP OF MY HEAD.

OH BE STILL MY HEART!

THEN SHE PROCEEDS TO TELL LILLIAN,

"TONIGHT BEFORE WE GO TO SLEEP, WE WILL PLAY FOOSH,

WHICH IS WHAT MUMSIE CALLS A PILLOW FIGHT BUT EACH TIME

YOU SWING A PILLOW YOU HAVE TO SAY FOOSH,"

"THEN SHE WILL SINGS US OUR PRAYERS AND A BUNCH OF 

LITTLE SONGS SHE SINGS TO US THEN SHE WILL KISS 

US GOODNIGHT AND TELL US SHE LOVES US."

IF YOU EVER THINK LEAVING YOUR MEMORIES WITH THOSE 

LITTLE HEARTS BY CONTINUING WITH THESE SMALL GESTURES MATTERS, IT DOES.

THE NEXT MORNING THAT SAME 10 YEAR OLD GRANDGIRL

CLIMBS INTO MY LAP FOR HER MORNING RITUAL OF

BEING ROCKED WHICH I HAVE PROMISED HER WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN HERE.

AS I CONTINUE TO MAKE LASTING MEMORIES WITH THE 

LITTLE CHILDREN I LOVE I KNOW THAT IT MATTERS, 

IT MATTERS TO THEM BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY IT MATTERS TO ME.

A NEW YEAR

 ITS A NEW YEAR COMING UP

AND WHILE KEEPING NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

IS NOT ONE OF MY STRONG POINTS,

THERE IS SOMETHING I DO AT THE BEGINNING

OF EACH YEAR AND CARRY THROUGH UNTIL 

DECEMBER 31.

PICKING A WORD FOR THE YEAR.

THIS IS YEAR IT WAS BE....

EACH TIME I POSTED ON INSTAGRAM, OR

WROTE IN MY JOURNAL I INCORPORATED THE WORD BE.

SO NOW I AM CONTEMPLATING ON A WORD FOR 2022.

I NOW KNOW MY WORD FOR THE NEW YEAR WILL BE...

SEARCH.

THAT'S RIGHT THIS YEAR I WILL BE SEARCHING

MY SOUL, MY HEART, MY MIND AND IT WILL BE EYE OPENING I AM SURE.

I ALSO KNOW SOMETHING I WANT TO ACCOMPLISH THIS

YEAR IS FINALLY FINISHING THIS BOOK I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON

FOR SO MANY YEARS NOW.

I AM A STORYTELLER AND HAVE JOURNALED AND WRITTEN

SINCE I WAS VERY YOUNG. HOWEVER, I HAVE ALWAYS 

STRUGGLED IN THE EDITING DEPARTMENT.

I HAVE NEVER FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE ALL MY SHORT

STORIES ABOUT MY LIFE EXPERIENCES IN A WAY THAT

COULD BE SHARED WITH OTHERS.

BARE WITH ME IN 2022 AS I PUT TOGETHER A DAILY READER.

EACH DAY I WILL COMPOSE A SHORT STORY AND HAVE THE

BOOK BE DIARY FORMED. 

SO GET READY MY DEAR FRIENDS AS I GO ON A JOURNEY

AND SEARCH MY LIFE.

THIS IS THE YEAR I WILL FINALLY SEND THIS BOOK TO 

THE PUBLISHERS. 

THANKS FOR READING, FOLLOWING AND COMING ON THIS JOURNEY

WITH ME.

Happy Birthday, Mom

Today would be my Momma's 101st birthday.

If I were a child again, 

it would also be the day my Daddy went out and bought

our live Christmas tree that we would decorate after

supper and birthday cake.

Dad would untangle the lights, fussing my Mom for

not putting them up correctly the year before and

nailing a string from the tree to the wall to keep the tree

from being crooked.

That was his part, lights and straight, and he was done.

Then Momma would put on Christmas music, pull out her

old Ornaments and reminisce as she handed us all her old glass bulbs

to decorate the tree. 

She would go to another place sometimes on these said nights

and at the time I did not understand it.

Yet this year as I and the grandgirls removed things from my attic

to decorate my own tree I understood.

There is my box of ornaments was the bear with Roddie's picture

in it that he made in first grade and Jesi's popsicle stick Santa

hat that had her own photo in it. 

The styrofoam ball with three little branches coming out of it

that every year I lovingly put on my tree, still not knowing

exactly what it is. There were many others that just sparked a memory

Jesi also had a little nostalgic look at the tree when she visited.

Telling D to look at that "One on the bottom branch"

and walking in the studio with two small ornaments she chose as a child.

We laughed about the ball with the sticks and even she does not

remember what it was supposed to be.

In the library, she saw a wooden display she painted when she was

a child and said,  "I can't believe you still have this."

Of course I do, My momma taught me long ago that one day

these simple Christmas decorations would be the same I 

treasured as I got older.

My momma, the things she taught us when she said nothing at all.

Happy Birthday dear woman, I hope you and Simone have been reunited

by now and you gals are waiting for Dad to untangle those darn lights

so you can begin your part of the tradition.

 

THE ADDRESS BOOK

 IT WAS TIME FOR A NEW ADDRESS BOOK.

I HAVE BEEN USING THE SAME CHRISTMAS ONE FOR OVER 7 YEARS

AND THERE HAVE BEEN JUST SO MANY CHANGES.

FINDING AN ADDRESS BOOK IN THIS WORLD FILLED WITH TECHNOLOGY

IS A TASK.

I COULD ONLY FIND ONE AT BARNES AND NOBLE AND

NONE AT HOBBY LOBBY AND A FEW OTHER PLACES.

I KNOW I COULD HAVE GOTTEN ONLINE, USED MY

AMAZON PRIME AND GOTTEN IT THE VERY NEXT DAY

BUT FOR SOME REASON, I WAS NOT INTO DELAYED GRATIFICATION

AND I WANTED IT YESTERDAY.

I SETTLED ON THE PINK FLORAL ONE, WITH NO CHOICES

TO CHOOSE FROM.

THIS TASK GOT ME THINKING TO THE OLDER GENERATION

AND HOW HARD IT MUST BE FOR THEM IF THEY HAVE

NOT LEARNED TECHNOLOGY.

WHERE KEEPING IN TOUCH MEANT OPENING UP THE OLD

ADDRESS BOOK AND HAND WRITING THAT ADDRESS ON AN ENVELOPE.

PUTTING A STAMP ON IT, AND PLACING IT OUTSIDE FOR THE MAIL PERSON

TO PICK UP AND TRUSTING THAT IT WOULD GET WHERE 

THEY SENT IT. 

IN AN AGE WHEN PEOPLE ARE LIVING LONGER THAN EVER

AND TECHNOLOGY HAS GROWN TREMENDOUSLY

SNAIL MAIL MUST EXIST. 

IT GOT MY MIND THINKING HOW FORTUNATE I AM 

THAT I WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO LEARN THE COMPUTER BEFORE

IT BECAME THE MEANS OF COMMUNICATION.

YET WHEN IT COMES TO MY ADDRESS BOOK, 

I KEEP IT THE OLD FASHIONED WAY, JUST AS MY MOTHER DID

IN HER LONG PINK ADDRESS BOOK,

SCRATCHING OUT THOSE THAT CHANGE OVER THE YEARS.

THERE IS STILL SUCH NOSTALGIA IN GETTING A LETTER

OR CARD IN THE MAIL THAT JUST MELTS ME

SO I KNOW THOSE WHO ARE NOT TECH SAVY MUST 

THRIVE FOR THE HANDWRITTEN LETTER.

I WILL CONTINUE TO MAKE HOME MADE CARDS AND

ADD MY PENMANSHIP TO EACH ONE I SEND.

WHEN GOING THROUGH THINGS MY MOTHER SAVED,

IT IS THOSE HANDWRITTEN LETTERS THAT WERE HER TREASURES.

SOME THINGS ARE MEANT TO STAY THE SAME.