Friday, August 11, 2017

BABY BOY...

On this day, thirty two years ago,
at this time of the morning, I had begun
early labor and knew that this day
would be my first baby's first birthday.
I had awakened at 4 Am knowing this
discomfort was the real thing.
I didn't awaken his Dad, I wanted to be up
and spend a few hours with myself because
after that morning, life as I knew it would be changed.
I was right, of course, but I had no clue just
how much.
I decided it was time for the hospital at about noon
and the Baby boy was born at 3:45pm after
a very quick and easy labor.
On that day, I began wearing my "heart on my sleeve".
He was beautiful and perfect in every way.
It took me days to realize he was ours and
I would get to take him home and keep him.
I was excited and scared at the same time.
Although I had many young nieces and nephews
and knew lots about babies, this one,
I knew would teach me lots and that he did.
He taught me that a sleeping baby is one
you don't mess with.
He taught me that a smile could change
the outlook of a day, a week, a year.
He taught me that I would now view world problem
with him in my mind.
He taught me this and so much more in the span of days.
I remember the day he first smiled at me with 
recognition, a real smile, not one of the gassy ones
of before. 
I was standing at the sink of our mobile home,
holding him and trying to wash a few dishes at the same time.
I probably was humming or singing when I realized
he was staring into my face.
I looked down to see this beautiful child give me
the biggest, toothless, cheesy grin.
My knees became a little week and
I had to sit down at the beauty of it.
On this morning, I can see BB reading this and
rolling his eyes thinking "She is so dramatic"
yet the feelings surrounding that first smile has
carried me through lots.
I am so very proud of this child.
At the young age of 32
he has over 10 years with Chevron,
he and his Kd have a home they planned themselves,
three beautiful little girls who adore them,
a hard working young man who likes doing for others.
He loves hunting fishing, anything in the "outside"
Nothing melts me more than watching him interact
with his little ones, A hands on Dad, makes me proud
to be his Momma.
Happy Birthday, my first born, my only son,
Know that in a world that sometimes seems
unfair or complicated, I always, always
stand in your corner, cheering you on.
"My life, would suck without you in it"





Tuesday, August 8, 2017

54????? IT CANNOT BE!

Today, 54 years ago today, I was born....
hard to believe...the body says it is true, the mind, the heart?
Well it has a completely different conception.
WAAYYYYY back on this day in 1963, I was born to
older parents, Freddie Collins, 45 years old and
Minta Collins, 43. Who in the heck has babies at that age?
Yet I was far from their first, the baby of 7 other children,
11 pregnancies. My sister, C was only two years older than me
so its not like I was that big of a surprise,
The surprise to me as an adult, my oldest sister, Simone
Taunt Mone to most, is 24 years older than me.
I was showered and spoiled to the brim with love and
attention. If being born the baby and the last were not enough,
to have found out I had an incurable cancer at 5 
only added to the attention.
I remember lots from those days, probably more
than most 5 year old should.
I must have been a firecracker even way back then
because no incurable cancer could take my life.
Yet, in a way it did.
It took my 5 year old frail, quiet life
and made me a vocal little spitfire full of
quirkiness. Even at a young age as that
I knew I was one of the lucky ones.
Today, still I see people passing and suffering
from the dreaded C and while my heart cries
for them all, I know I was spared for a reason.
I am loud and vocal, opinionated but kind.
I dance in the aisles, sing whether there is music or not.
I was blessed to have two children when I was told there would be
none and put all I had into being their Mom.
I was far from perfect, still am, but every EVERY 
decision I ever made while Mothering them was
with their best interest in my heart.
When I found my 30 year marriage coming to an end
I knew it would not be the end of me.
I mean in no way to say anything negative to my 
ex, he was financially, the one who made it possible
to be the Momma I wanted to be.
We have both found our way to a happier life.
I never thought at 54 I could find my way to be
 a person I like most always.
Yes, the treatment that saved my life back in 1968 
plays havoc on my body, in no way am I bitter as
the ultimatum would have been death.
I am now a person whom I like and love most days.
I am a person who wants and hopes I bring joy to 
those lives I touch. It is my calling, it is why I have beat
the odds given to me so very long ago.
So to all who love me, call me Mom, sister, lover, friend,
Aunt,  Nannie, Mumsie, Lil, I say thank you on this fine
54th birthday
THANK YOU  for allowing me to be part of your lives
and I hope I have made some sort of difference in yours.
Every years since my kiddo's are young and asked me,
"Mommy what do you want for your birthday, xmas, etc..."
The answer has always been a love letter.
There is nothing in this life I need materialistic,
well the lottery would be nice, but that is a separate blog.
I want to know what I am to you in words in speech.
I don't want to hover over my funeral one day and hear the
thoughts and words of those I hold dear to my heart.
I will always want only to know I was important in your life.
Thanks to all who will or have wished me a 
Happy Birthday! 
All are appreciated and as the boo reminded me this morning,
"... all the bday wishes will be from people who
love and appreciate you. None are lagniappe!"
Could not have said it better.
Love to all!!!!



A NEW FLAMBOYANT FRIEND!

I have always loved meeting, speaking to flamboyant
men, always think they can become some of my best friends,
but usually when I meet such a lad, 
it is a quick encounter.
Such was the case one day last week when
I was between testing and had a little time to kill.
Where else to hang out than a booth rental flea market.
As I explore a corner I hear a loud voice,
"Girl, IT BE DARK IN THIS THERE CORNER TODAY!"
"Yep" I answer.
He then grabs a pair of used Oxfords, bright yellow in color:
"GURL, THESE BE FINE WITH THE SUIT I HAVE TO WEAR!"
I've no doubt he does.
I show him another pair that are not quite as loud, that
can be worn on most days. They are an expensive shoe
with some wear to them. He slides them on,
"GUH, THESE SLIDE RIGHT ON MADE FOR ME,
they so comfy....
I'm going ask them to go down."
they are 30 and while they are worth it for that brand I 
understand from further conversation that my new friend
is without much extra money.
He comes find me in this huge place,
"Twenty fie, won't go down mo"
Darn I say to myself and to my new pal.
As I walk around, looking for deals, things to repurpose,
He and I keep running into each other, having 
different conversations each time.
I give him my business card because one, 
I can see us becoming friends and two,
he is interested in possible hiring me to do a few things
for him. Each conversation makes me feel closer to him
and has me thinking of those shoes and how I want him
to have the shoes that fit him so perfectly and how
I just collected 25 bucks from a scrap job I had done.
Finally, I hear this colorful man checking out
and I just cannot let him leave without those shoes.
I hurry to the dark corner where we met, where
our new-one day friendship began, and I grab
those shoes, run to the register, put the box on the counter
with the 25 dollars and I hug him and walk away....
I see his shock, tears in his eyes.
He does not say No, no sign of protest, just
shock and pure love in his eyes.
He allows me to be the giver of
a RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS
and I have the pure satisfaction of knowing
that those beautiful, wild shoes will walk the
streets of Bourbon Street with my flamboyant 
friends feet nestled in their comfort.

Friday, July 28, 2017

THE COTTAGE IS FOR ALL

A few days ago, a friend was having a rough time,
needed some time away from her daily life.
She was worried about coming to the Cottage would
interfere with The Boo or I's visits.
So I say here, a few things to all.
First, the Cottage belongs to me only on the Deed,
where my name is boldly printed,
LILLIAN COLLINS RIERA
yet it belongs to all, all those who call
me sister, aunt, Mom, Mumsie, friend, etc.
The Cottage, like a church, is just a structure without
people in it and enjoying it.
The Cottage brings me peace, joy, relaxation, creativity.
The Boo visits but his time here is limited due to work
and owning his own home. His visiting here
should never influence anyones choice to come here.
Whether you need a day or a night to refresh or
a week or month to "get away", 
whether I am at the Cottage or gone,
all are welcomed here, 
ALL ARE WELCOMED HERE.
It is only a structure without the people I love
surrounding it.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Another Fallen Classmate...

Just when I believe this blog will take a turn
to happier moments, another dear classmate and
friend has died.
Greg Terry.
He and I were not best buds but he was that
to two of my closest friends,
my cousin Reggie and my pal, Patrick.
Not many days passed in the highschool era that
Reggie, Greg and sometimes Patrick were not together.
As Reggie texted to me last night,
"...Not a day in Jr. high and high school was Greg and
I not together, like you and Laurie and Ann."
I remember that vividly, one day in particular.
I was driving around in my orange Pinto and
decided to go hang with the cuz,
Who was there, none other than Greg Terry.
We sat around and talked for hours probably about
everyone else in our class.
He was a kind man but over the years I have lost
touch with him yet his name came up lots in the
last year when I began to rekindle the friendships
between Patrick, Reggie and I.
We are not old yet, we are 53-give or take a year or two.
Yet when our parents were that age, we believed that was old.
Our classmates are too young to say goodbye to this life.
However, like the last few blogs I believe they are on
the journey of a lifetime, one all of us here on Earth cannot
understand and some of us fear.
RIP Greg and may all who love you know 
you, my dear have entered into the phase of
FOREVER LIFE.

Friday, July 7, 2017

Ironic

Ironic is what it is. 
If I ever needed confirmation that 
Blogging, sharing my thoughts was
Something I must do, I received that yesterday. 
Bestie Ann and I made it to the funeral
Of our dear friend and classmate Roxanne. 
We met Laurie there with her bestie babies. 
As I make it to the front of the church to
Pay my respects to the family many memories
Flood back. Roxanne in high school, 
Roxanne working with us at the hospital, 
Roxanne playing Pokeno with our group
For many years. I stop to speak and give hugs to 
Rox's parents and then her dear daughter, Who is
An adult now. She is so composed. So much like her Mother
In that way. I think she may not remember me 
From our Pokeno days when she was a little girl
So I remind her of who I am. 
She counters back with 
"Oh yeah, I remember you because of your blog. 
My Mom loved your blog and often shared from 
It or had me read it" 
Wow! I now know I don't do this just for me
But for those who may get something out of the
Things I write. 
I ask for permission to use her Mom and she says 
"Blog away, please!" 
So today I begin a routine once again involving 
Early mornings, a cup of coffee and 
A blog. 
Thanks Alyssa for showing me the way 

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Random thoughts..

I have not blogged much lately,
not journaling much either,
I've lost the habit due to not doing them often enough.
So today, I know I have to get back to blogging.
I have had some unsettling days lately when it comes
to death. Young people, about my age dying.
Some from dreaded big C and
another unexpected and shocking.
I don't know why death is so unsettling 
for me right now.
Is it because you just never know when the
earthly life is over or am I too far from 
my faith? Let me share some of my thoughts here:
I know there is something else after this life, 
My faith is strong in that.
My fears are that I don't know the process
and I have big fears of the unknown,
it is most of our worst fear,
fear of the unknown.
At the funeral of a friend,
who passed unexpectedly, I am told by her father in law,
"It's just too fast, maybe after a long illness,
but this, you can't plan for this"
I think a lot about that since then.
Until my dear high school friend died after
battling cancer for over two years.
I visited with her last summer when hope was
still such a big part of her life.
She inspired me, sitting there so beautiful in 
her words, thin, showing off her wigs,
never giving up on the "next treatment"
Her last week, she suffered and her family could
do nothing but be with her and be her advocate.
So I now believe, whether you are taken unexpectedly 
or after a long illness, it is just not ever easy for
our Earthly beings.
I know both these friends, having lived their lives
for others, are no doubt going to a better place.
It is us, left behind to wonder, are made to 
struggle with their loss.
And for me? I continue to wonder what is after
this life. It is not meant to be known.
RIP Marie and Roxanne.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Tuts turns three

(Typed on phone excuse any typo's until
I can get home)
Our Tuts, our jojo turns three tomorrow. 
In some ways it seems like a lifetime ago
Since she was born, like she has been with
Us forever. Other times, like just yesterday 
When she came into our world. 
It is in her three years of life
That I, as a single woman has
Made the most changes in my life. 
I will always look upon her little life 
As being almost like a new birth 
For myself as well. 
Our Jojo/tuts is one of the funniest litttle
Sprites, like a little fairy
Who has come into our chaotic lives
To remind us to "slow down" 
Take a minute to smells the roses,
Sit down and watch her perform. 
I hope I always give her that time, 
When she decides to entertain us.
I will share one of our many Jojo-isms. 
She had show off day at dancing 
And while the other girls stood in a line and
Followed the teachers dance steps,
Jo walked back and forth from wall to wall
Singing her favorite Muhana song. 
Nothing was going to kill her party. 
A few days later she came to play 
And I took the opportunity to read 
To her the card/ love letter I had made her. 
Partly,
"I am so proud of how you sing when 
You want and dance when you want..." 
she stared right into my eyes, as serious 
As a three year old could be.....
I am thinking she is going to thank me
But no, not our jojo...
"I wish, I could be the perfect daughter,
But I come back to the water...."
I think she may be finished, no
A breath and then 
"Every step I take every move I make..."
Yes she sang the whole song...
And her Mumsie, well she melted 
" you our sweet jojo, you are more than the perfect 
Daughter. You are the most 
Grandest three year old I Know"
Happy birthday sweet jojo

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

BELATED MOTHERS DAY THOUGHTS

My Mothers Day officially ended yesterday
evening, when gypsy and her girl Del, visited.
Over the last few days, I have thought much of
the holiday of Mothers Day.
Small, one day holidays are sometimes over rated 
to me, mostly because it can become stressful
trying to get all the people you think of when you 
say the word Mother, in a one day visit.
However, me and the boo... we did it,
we spent brunch at Cracker Barrel with his sweet
Momma, Mrs. Barbara along with his brother
and his family. Then to Kd's parents for lunch
with my baby boy, my KD and the grand girls.
Now my thoughts, Mother, something I, for 
many years, didn't think I would ever be able
to share with other Mothers.
Having been a childhood cancer survivor, told
I would never have children and to find out
nine months into a marriage that I was pregnant,
well, it was just a miracle to me.
Four years later, his sister came into my world 
and changed it forever.
They are my children, mine, and I adore them both
for who they are, for the way they are,
Yet, being their Mother is wild, they are so
different. I have Baby boy, who I see with his three
little girls and I could melt watching the love he
has for them. Just this same weekend he danced on
stage with the Bean for her recital and I beamed 
with pride for my child. 
He is overprotective of me in a quiet way,
always wanting to help me with household projects.
He, as I grow older will be my
"SUNNY-DO"
Last night, spending a few hours with my gypsy baby,
so different from her brother, being the 
first to say, "I am not a maternal person except for my dog"
"I know I am selfish" However, I want to say to her,
it's not selfish when you know what you want,
how you want to live your life and verbally state it.
So many feel this way and do not have the courage
to admit this, It is why I admire her so much!
One of the many ways. I know she will be 
"MY KEEPER" 
when the time comes that I need help medically, she
will be the one to care for me as she has had
to do over the years when I was ill.
No matter how old she is, We will always be comfortable,
laying in the same bed, reading, talking, etc.
She is the best daughter I could have had for me.
Then there is my daughter in law, my KD,
as I have always said about her
"I could not have hand picked a girl better for my son".
I will forever keep a medallion she gave me as a gift
a few years ago stating,
"THANK YOU FOR RAISING THE MAN OF OUR DREAMS"
It always makes me proud to be her Mother in law.
A few weeks ago, baby boy being at work,
Kd, coming home from a busy work day only 
to have to hurriedly get Bean ready for dance practice
while the other two were screaming for her attention.
Kd came out of the bathroom where she was dressing
bean and seem flustered, Bean not having been the nicest 
to her Mommy that day, I had Bean ride with me to
dance and I told her a few things, one being
"GEE, (I sometimes call her this)
 you have to realize their are three women in this
world who not only will always love and have your back
no matter what happens, but will love you 
unconditionally, always: Me, your Mumsie, Maw Maw Cathy,
and last but not least your dear Mother"
That night, I am laying in bed and I find this small writing,
and I send it to my DIL, as I feel its something she needed 
to hear that day:
MAMA,
YOU  WERE GIVEN THESE CHILDREN - YOU.
NO ONE ELSE.
YOU WERE GIVEN THESE CHILDREN BECAUSE
YOU ARE WHO THEY NEED.
YOU HAVE THE SOUL TO LOVE THEM
EVEN ON THEIR HARD DAYS.
YOU HAVE THE MOTIVATION AND LOVE
TO GIVE THESE CHILDREN EVERYTHING THEY NEED.
YOU HAVE THE HEART TO WAKE UP EVERY
MORNING AND TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN,
EVEN WHEN YOU ARE EXHAUSTED.
YOU HAVE THE SMILE THAT THEY CRAVE
AND THE TOUCH TO MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY.
YOU ARE THEIR SUNSHINE AND
THEIR COMFORT. 
YOU ARE THEIRS AND THEY ARE YOURS.
MOMMA.
ON THE DAYS YOU ARE QUESTIONING YOURSELF,
REMEMBER.....
YOU GOT THIS.
How beautiful? Have we, as Mothers not all had a
point in our Mothering that we needed to hear these
very same words? I know I have.
I have shared how being mother to my children has 
completed me as a woman. I find myself now finding
time to nurture my own new relationships and
home business and getting the moral support 
from my grown children. Their understanding
of where my life is right now is something
I have needed so much and I have not told them that.
Thank you, my babies, for understanding that
I have given you two all of me for the last 30 
something years and now I must be able to nurture
my next phase of life. It has not been easy these last 4 years
but we have stayed strong, and have come out on 
the other side still whole and loving each other.
Although you two will always be loved by me
unconditionally and that I will also always
be on your side of the ring, I now must
find my own life as a Mother to adult children,
giving myself some time to be a tad selfish so to 
have myself a life I can grow into as I become an
older woman. Thank You, my babies, for trying
your best to understand this.
Last but not least,
I remain with the pillow covered with the pillow case
that my own Mother laid her head on the last day she
was with us, I have yet to wash that case, don't see myself
ever washing it, Why not, you may ask?
Because, if, like I did on Mothers Day morning,
put my nose deeply into the folds of that pillow and
smell deeply, I can still smell her, and as it is with me,
a smell can take me back to places of when she was 
still here with me. I was blessed with the best Momma for me
and I pray that as the years pass, my babies, and their own
babies will think of me lovingly and admiringly
when they smell the scent of Clinique Aromatics body lotion,
and feel the warmth of the love of their own Mother.
HAPPY BELATED MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU MOMMY'S!
                                                                                                                                                                

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

SHE IS SIX

She is six now and so much has changed.
She is in school now, so our sleepovers have been cut down
a bit and usually when she comes her little sis
is in tow.
Yet, yesterday, it was just her and I.
My sweet Jilly Bean.
So much is the same, oh but so much is different.
We still take adventure walks,
now instead of me pointing out treasures,
she is pointing and picking them out herself.
Our conversations have become more advanced,
"Mumise, do you cry? Not happy tears I mean real tears"
She sings often and wants me to video her.
This is another difference, before her singing was just
for me, a one person audience.
Her coloring is no longer out the lines,
beautiful, vibrant colors, on the chalkboard last night.
I pick her up to place her in the tub,
she is solid, six year old weight,
not the feather light toddler anymore.
She no longer plays with the toys aside the tub.
"Lets hurry and bathe so we can go do card crafts"
She is not tired at 7pm, ready to play our 
favorite night game of "foosh" our version 
of a pillow fight.
Instead we go into the Studio and she makes two cards
for her little neighbors who are moving soon.
When it is finally enough time that this Mumsie can't
go anymore we retreat to the bedroom for "foosh"
No longer do my pillow throws hit her and knock her down.
No, now she hold a pillow up in front of her strategically
and blocks my pillows, stopping each one from knocking
her down. Then just when I am out of pillows she
attacks with a vengeance, My ammunition is gone,
I am at her Mercy.
We then read books, same routine since she was
a baby, that too has changed.
It's her reading to me and a chapter book.
Her head still fits in the crook of my arm but her long
body takes up more space than before.
I am aware of so much this day.
Because she is maturing, growing into such a beautiful child
who can "Drama Queen" with the best but
hold a conversation like she could not before.
I am tired then, having worked in my yard most of the day.
Lights out.... and then, then the one thing that has
not and I hope never does change,
"Hug me Mumsie, hold my hand"
"sing me prayers, Mumsie"
She hugs my arm tightly as I sing OUR FATHER
and when I get to her favorite part, she sings along,
"...FOR THE KINGDOM AND THE POWER AND THE GLORY
IS YOURS, AMEN"
She still wants to cuddle, falls asleep in my arms with
Oliver tucked between us.
She is asleep in minutes, myself, just a little longer 
as I contemplate the changes taking place in my oldest
grandgirl. Soon she will be a preteen, and perhaps
sleeping at Mumsie's won't be as appealing to her.
I treasure these moments, getting farther apart as she grows up.
She will have sleepovers at friends homes, or friends at
her own home. Yet, this Mumsie will always treasure
our times together, will always play "foosh"
no matter how big she is and how old I am
and we will always cuddle and read books,
no matter which of us is doing the reading.
Most importantly I will always sing to her the perfect prayer
and we shall always sing her favorite part with just a little more
flair,  and our night will always, always end
with an arm around her growing body and
"I love you, Jilly"
"I love you, Mumsie"



Friday, April 7, 2017

A FAMILY LIKE NO OTHER



When living in Thibodaux I met so many  
awesome people, friends. 
Some I speak to here and there and some
I am part of the family.
The Duet's, my once neighbors are family.
Having lived next door to them
for six years we have shared a lot.
Like I have blogged about before,
Katie, the neighbor, being their daughter,
became a close friend to me
with age playing no part, no age gap as
we love scrapping, crafts.
Last time I blogged about this wonderful family,
it was when their son and brother, Stephen
passed away from a rare heart disease.
One of the saddest days of my life so I
can't even imagine what that was like for them.
Today I blog about Donna, the Mother
to this heavenly child and Katie.
Last week Katie informed me that her Mother,
having gone for her routine Mammogram,
was diagnosed with Breast cancer....
WHAT???? How can this happen to 
this most amazing family? Where is the lesson
here? Knowing Donna, she does not like "fanfare"
and if she shed tears about herself, it was in 
the privacy of her home in the arms of her
family. Warren, her hubby, always being the
best supporter of all, has to be worried so.
It has not been enough tragedy that they bury
their baby boy, now his high school sweetheart
having to go through chemo., surgery,
I know him well enough to know he would 
love to take this away from her, to go through
it himself. I have no doubt, Donna will go 
through this with grace, for all the world to see
and like I have been known to say,
sometimes the things we go through has nothing 
to do with us but for someone else
in our world who needs to learn a lesson as they
watch how this family goes through this.
Katie, their daughter, will be at her Mothers side
through it all, her little Cherub, Addison and
Stephen's girlfriend, "Aunt Meal" as Addison
calls her will see them through this as well.
What I want to share is this,
this family will attack this diagnoses with
little tears, hide nothing from others who ask
questions. Donna, no matter how badly she
may feel while going through chemotherapy,
will share that with very few, going to work as
many days as she can through this ordeal.
I hold this family high on a pedestal,
not only today because of what they will face,
but the way they face all the negative things
in their lives, with honor and grace.
Soon it will be over and done, Donna
will get over this and in a few years many
won't even remember she had cancer.
Except I know she will now be an advocate
of yearly Mammograms just as her Katie will be.
Donna's worry will be for Katie and Addison, knowing
that because they are females, they may hold
the same gene she did that made one cell go crazy
to cause this breast cancer.
I love you, Duet's and in pure Lilly fashion, 
I will leave you with one funny statement to 
take the edge off this terrible diagnosis,
"YOU CAN NOW HAVE THE BOOBS OF
YOUR DREAMS AND YOUR INSURANCE
WILL PAY FOR IT!"
Love you all, here for the journey!
The Duets during happy times,  Baby boy and Kd's
wedding. Steve-O sitting, so much life!
Katie, the neighbor and sweet "Aunt Meal"
Camille, Stephen Love, no doubt she will be a 
dentist soon!
And our dear Donna holding the one who will make
this journey a little easier, our Addison, AddieMae to 
me, Aunt Mumsie.
Offer up a prayer for this sweet wonderful family!

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW ITS LOVE

It has been close to four years since I've been single,
having ended a 30 year marriage.
Having not been much of the dating type
when I was a teen, Ron being my high school boyfriend,
I was determined to enjoy the single life,
and I have, I did.....
I have had many wonderful dates, met many
wonderful men, some I remain friends with,
some that after one date I have not contacted again.
I met most via Match.Com and lots of people
would say its not very safe but for me
(after doing a criminal background check and
always having a 911 buddy, more on that later....)
I have dated more because of it than perhaps I would have
had I not used that dating site.
My famous motto:
"I love dating, I hate relationships."
and thats all those Match meetings were, dates....
Most ended quickly.
No one I incorporated into my daily routine,
no one I had asked my children to meet,
no one worthy of being part of the grand girls lives.
Then, like a needle in a haystack, something changed.
I began emailing this one guy and I liked a lot about
him right off the bat. Through phone calls, emails,
texts that finally led to a date that landed up into a long
conversation night.
He brought me flowers, Lilies to be exact.
He listened, listened well, forgot very little.
He began sharing personal things with me and
I found myself doing the same, something I had
not done during the dating fiasco.
The more I learned about this man, the more comfortable
I became sharing parts of my life.
I found him to not only to be smart but to be Worldly.
Having traveled as a Navy brat and then going into
the Navy himself, he filled me with knowledge that
I have been interested in as I get older.
He took an interest in my business, saw my talents as more
than just a hobby, shared the love of "junking" 
antiquing, shopping. cooking.... So many things.
I found myself, by Valentine's Day, knowing 
there was more to this "date" than just a date.
I was not about to say "THOSE THREE WORDS"
Matter of fact, wanted to run from the same words
when professed to me. But this time, I didn't.
I didn't run, I didn't find an excuse to stop dating,
I didn't remember how much I love my own company.
Because with this man, who is now known in the blogging world
as "MY BOO" something was different.
I asked my children to meet him, I thought about the future
when maybe the grand girls could meet him as well.
We both like the way things are now,
talking nightly, texting numerous times daily.
but our time together is weekends only. It works for
us and it is all either of us can give at this point but I share
all of this now with you all, my blog followers,
because, I am now accepting of the fact that.......
I LOVE THIS MAN.
I do not know what the future holds for us
nor do we worry about it, for now, it is enough for us both
just to know, we are in love.
Which takes me to the title of this blog.
Deana Carter, many years ago, wrote and sang the most
beautiful song,
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW ITS LOVE
First time I heard it, I cried, it was of sadness.
Because I knew besides the love I have for my children,
I had never loved like that and probably never would.
That was over 10 years ago.
Then last week, I ask the Boo, if he ever had heard that song.
That is not very unusual in our relationship as music, lyrics have
played a big part in "us".
No he had not so I read the lyrics to him.
As I did, I felt like I may cry again, but for a different reason
this time, because perhaps, something I thought was impossible 
for me to ever feel towards another had indeed happened.
For the last few days, I have contemplated this writing,
wrote it and deleted it, typed it and saved it,
typed it and erased it, but today, I have the courage to
print those lyrics here and now because, I have no
doubt in my heart that,
I KNOW IT'S LOVE.....
IF YOU GET OUT IN THE DRIVIN' RAIN
STAND IN THE EYE OF A HURRICANE
AND NEVER THINK TWICE
IF YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON SELFISHNESS
AND YOUR THOUGHTS ARE FOR SOMEONE ELSE
'CAUSE THEY'VE CHANGED YOUR LIFE
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW ITS LOVE
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S MEANT TO BE
WHEN THE SPAN OF FOREVER 
JUST NEVER SEEMS LONG ENOUGH
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW ITS LOVE
WHEN YOUR HEART INSISTS THAT YOU GIVE IT ALL
WHEN YOU NO LONGER FEAR THE FALL
AND YOU JUST LET GO
WHEN THE PAST IS FINALLY DEAD AND GONE
FATE LEADS YOU SOMEWHERE TO THE ONE
THAT HAS YOUR SOUL
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW ITS LOVE
NO PART OF YOUR QUESTIONS
NO PART OF YOU DOUBTS
YOU'RE ONLY SURE THIS IS WHAT LOVES ABOUT
AND NOTHING AND NO ONE CAN STAND IN YOUR WAY
OR KEEP YOU FROM SAYING WHAT YOUR HEART IS DYING TO SAY
Yes...... And that is, in fact, Just how I know it is love!                                                                                 

Thursday, March 30, 2017

DAISIES FOR DAYS

"Why Daisies?"
He, the boo asked one day when I am thanking
him for sending me a bouquet of my very favorite flowers.
Before knowing my favorite, he had sent Lilies and Roses.
I love all flowers, especially those grown and cut from the yard.
The last bouquet he graced me with, he knew me well enough
to let the florist know (she shared this info. with me)
not to arrange them as I like arranging my flowers myself.
How he does this, remembers all these little things I may
say or do that he does not forget..... IDK but it is why he is MY BOO!
So back to the original question,
"Why Daisies?"
Here is my answer.....
A little tyke in the hospital, battling cancer,
One memory.... Daisies from my Uncle Luke and Aunt Tim,
often. but not from a florist, picked and brought from
his yard. My hospital room usually had lots of flowers,
but the ones brought by Uncle Luke were always my favorite.
They were not arranged fancy like the florist bought ones.
My eyes often, as a young child, laying in that bed,
were drawn to those daisies.
I have sporadic memories of the years I fought cancer,
this memory, one of my favorites.
As I got older, when visiting my Uncle and Aunt,
I noticed that daisies always grew in abundance between
a narrow patch of dirt between the house and the drive.
I never left without a handful of them.
I always loved putting these daisies in my bedroom, having
them sit there and even then I realized the beauty
of what one small group of fresh flowers can bring to a room.
Now, I try and keep fresh flowers in my cottage as 
often as I can. 
Back to the daisies. When I would see the daisies at my 
Uncle's home I would like to believe he planted them for me,
only me, his baby niece who was fighting a battle that
seemed I would not win. I never asked him if that was 
the case, because I want to still believe that was the reason
they grew there.
As a teen, I was going over there to pick Uncle Luke's daisies
so often that my Dad went and dug up a few plants and
planted them for me in our own flowerbeds.
Each spring, my room was filled with them.
Now I am an adult, daisies still give me that warm feeling
they did way back when.
This past weekend, me and the boo went to Whole Foods
where there were real daisies, traditional in color,
white with yellow centers, Shasta Daisies and I just
had to have some as all of the ones I planted in my yard last
year died. I pick out four beautiful plants, the last there were
and the Boo bought them for me...
"BE STILL MY HEART" 
and this is why it will always be Daisies...

"DAISIES FOR DAYS"




Friday, March 17, 2017

WORKING FROM HOME...

At the same time I am using the analogy of
"feeling like a juggler with two many pins in the air"
my business, MUMSIES COTTAGE
has begun to take on a life of its own.
Just in the last few weeks, I have been commissioned
to make a scrapbook for a Fathers Day gift,
signed three children on for lessons,
and working with a baby boutique to make cards for them.
With all of this on the burner, three grand girls, my kiddo's
and a relationship I am giving my all  
I am trying to come up with a work system for working 
from home. Which leads me to this blog.
I have read a most interesting article addressing just this.
And now, I know beginning Monday,
(as my weekend is filled with my boo)
I will only work in the studio.
I will work four hours each morning dressed for success.
I will take a lunch break for half an hour
and enter back for another 4.
I will work half days on Friday.
Once, again talking about the juggling...
I know I am not giving enough time to some of the pins.
My DTB family and friends have not seen enough of me.
My thibodaux family I made for myself in the 10 years
I lived there, also does not see enough of me.
I am still working on this juggling act.
I pray that all who know me and love me
give me a little forgiveness for the things I am not doing
so well in. I want this business to thrive but not at
the cost of taking important pins out of the juggling.
However, some things have to be removed, for my health
as well as that there is just not enough time in the days, weeks,
months. I will figure it all out in time but for now.
I will give this Mummies Cottage business a little more
time in the air, I need this for my health and I am
just going to have to get a little selfish for a bit.
Love to all!

Monday, March 13, 2017

BEANS NEVER DO GET OLD....

Today our Jilly Bean turns six years old.
It is so very hard to believe six years has passed, so much
has happened, she and her sisters have brought 
us so much joy.
Her favorite food? Beans...
any shape, size, color, Red beans her fave,
hence the title of the blog.
I could write a book just on the antics, things she has said,
done and has learned from us, her first teachers.
Yet, each one of us who love her would say
she has taught us all so much more.
She is loving, more than her 6 years should know,
but on the same note, she can throw a tantrum like
all other six years old.
She forgets very little so don't try and pull wool over
her eyes, she will call you on it! 
I will make this a short blog with a montage of pictures,
leaving you with one story that will show just what
a special child she is to us.
I still, since she is born, spend almost every Wednesday
with her. One this one Wednesday a few 
weeks ago, I am at her house as she gets off the bus.
Her baby sisters are there as well, she rushes off
just to share some love with sisters.
She hugs JoJo tightly, JoJo swats at her face.
With the smile still on her face she runs to baby Jemma,
kisses her and hugs her, Jemma pulls her hair.
She then comes back to her Mumsie for a second hug
and kiss. As I am hugging her I say, 
"Poor Jilly, loving on the babies and they won't give her 
a break"
She responds with a statement that shows her love for 
so many...
''Oh yeah, Mumsie, but I don't care, I love them anyway
and I am going to kiss them and hug them everyday anyway"
Oh we love our Bean!
I often steal her line,
" I could love and squeeze you until your guts come out"
Happy Birthday, My Jilly bean,
"I HAVE LOVED YOU, WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE,
I WILL LOVE YOU, AND YOU ARE MINE"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              
This day, 6 years before, just as beautiful then as now
 Bean at 1 1/2 with My Mommy, her Mommee...                              
 A Christmas when she was an only child.
 One of our Mother/daughter tea parties at the church 
I and my children grew up in.
 Our "sassy in a good way"
(as she calls it)
in the church her Mother and her sisters
will be raised  in.
Jilly and her family that she loves so much,
at Gulf Shores.


Monday, March 6, 2017

LOVE LIKE NO OTHER.....

This morning, while checking Facebook, they
remind me of this post I made 4 years ago, when
my own marriage was finding its end.
An older couple's obituary that I loved so much
I actually cut it out of the paper.
Seems after all those years of being together,
in death they were not to be separated,
dying within 24 hours of each other.
I do not know this couple nor their families.
I am not one to normally read the obits but this one
has always been close to my heart.
I wonder about their lives, being together and passing
in their 90's. I wonder how hard their lives may have been.
I wonder how many times they may have fought and
found their way back to the other.
I wonder how many times they kissed good morning 
and then good night,
I wonder how many nights they spent away from each
other and how hard that must have been.
The one thing I do not wonder, is this,
that even in death, they would rather leave this world
together, forging the next voyage of their lives together.
Such a touching story, even now four years later.
It is the type of love all of us should strive for,
it is the type of love, even through rough times
we should make marriages this important if in one.
The type of love we should be for another.
It is the type of love all should not settle for less.
Four years later, I am still in love,
with this couple, with what their story says to us all,
I want to be like them when I grow up....
If I ever grow up.....

BABY BOY...

On this day, thirty two years ago, at this time of the morning, I had begun early labor and knew that this day would be my first baby...