Friday, November 17, 2017


There are lots you hear of Private/Catholic school.
Some positive, some negative.
Private school is not a necessity and not right for everyone.
My two of the three grand girls go to
St. John Catholic School.
Bean in first grade,
JOJO in preK 3.
This is the school where KD, their Mom
and most of her family have graduated from as
well as all the cousins who go there now.
Yesterday was book fair day.
I love me a good Scholastic book fair.
I drive up to the school and as I
am walking to the front office, I hear,
"Hi, Ms. Lilly"
Its one of KD's little cousins, now in high school.
Then I head to the office to sign in.
"Morning Mumsie, you don't have to sign in..."
How do they know I am Mumsie?
While heading to the library to wait for Bean's class
it is what I am thinking.
In the library is JOJO's paraprofessional.
"Hey Mumsie, JOJo invited me to come sleep at
your house last week. She told me all about your cat,
your bunk beds that has 'free' (three) beds"
I am beaming as so many know who I am.
The librarian and her helper starts also
telling stories that the grand girls have
shared with those who teach at St. John.
"Oh, we know about the craft you share with he girls,
we know you have a library, a red piano
and a cat name Oliver."
"You don't live in a house, you live in a cottage
just like the three bears and Goldilocks!"
I am feeling very special by now.
Bean and her class enter the library and she and
a few of her classmates come to give 'Mumsie" a hug.
Her teacher, Ms. Jaimie says,
"Hey Mumsie, I know so much about you,
Everything we do, Jilly makes it about Oliver, the cat"
I smile big, my heart overflowing for this little
Bean, her baby sister who sleeps a few doors down
in her PreK class and a school that not only knows
me and all the other family members of the Riera/Guilbeau
clan but everything about us.
I am so proud of Kd and BB for making the
sacrifice to send their little girls to this school.
It is not a cheap sacrifice but I know they work
hard so those girls can have this type of education.
 I realize that this day is one of
many I will be able to share with the grand girls
at this wonderful school  of St. John.
Where everyone knows my name,

Monday, October 23, 2017


Approximately 12 years ago, I sat in a meeting
as a school nurse where I was assigned at the time.
The child in question was a three and a half year old
little girl who had been pretty sick since birth
and now was adjusting to medical issues that would
be part of her life following a Small Bowel, Pancreatic,
liver transplant as a baby. 
Her condition was nothing simple,
she would need a nurse numerous times of the day
to help with those things she could not do.
As her Mother and Grandmother argued their point
as to the reasons this child should be in school
and the school was leary as to at 3 1/2 year old,
with so many medical issues was ready for Pre K.
There was lots of fear on the side of the teachers.
I sat quietly and listened. Her Mom at one point
made a statement to the fact,
"I know the records and her medical needs seem
scary to you all but you have not met Bailey yet,
she is just a little girl who wants and needs school."
Since that day this Mother has always
been admired by me.
.Being the voice and advocate for this
child since she was born ill with a twin brother
who was more than healthy, I have believed
it is due to this Mother and the "village" she has
allowed to help her that Bailey has done so well.
After talk had gone around the table a few times
I was asked my opinion.
My point was,  I feel like all Bailey needs medically
can be met here and on a personal note,
Having also been a child who grew up with
chronic illness known as cancer,
Had my parents not fought for me to be in school,
I would not right now be sitting at this table as
a nurse arguing this point. I say let her in."
A few wet eyes and the decision was made.
Since that day, and the 5 years that I was her
"Nurse Lilly"
She has been my hero.
She is now a smart, funny, beautiful 15 year old.
A child who is now a teenager who has
learned to care for her medical needs all on her own.
Who has far exceeded all of our expectations,
Whose Mother remains her biggest fan,
her advocate, making sure her little girl always
gets what is her right to have.
It is years now that I have retired,
yet the bond between Bailey and I have remained strong.
I have to be honest in saying she is actually
much better than I on keeping in touch,
Facetiming and texting me a few times each week.
So that is the background of this blog.
Saturday is homecoming, Saturday is Bailey's birthday.
Saturday is even a bigger deal because My sweet Bailey
has been nominated for HOMECOMING COURT!
The only Freshman to be nominated!
She is so very excited, it would be a big deal for 
any child yet, for this child, something that perhaps
she never believed would be part of her high school years.
While I speak of her excitement, I want to take
a little time to say how very excited I am for her 
Momma. An accomplishment that maybe she never thought
her dear child would experience while she argued 
for just equality for her.
Her excitement to do the whole homecoming thing,
Hair, nails, dress, date....
and now, the court.
Yes, this child so deserves this feat, probably more than most.
Her Mother deserves this coming Friday as they prepare
for the big day.
I want to say to my Bailey:
"My sweet girl, since the very first day I met you,
I felt a bond to you. We did not have the same
medical issues, but we were chronically ill children
who beat the odds and won Life.
Not only am I so very happy that you are getting
to enjoy all these normal things of the teen years,
but I remain one of your biggest fans.
You have seen so much in your 15 short years of life
and now you are getting to experience those things
that many people take for granted, the
'normal' teen years.
So on Saturday evening, as you stand, on your birthday,
with your peers as they announce the winner of the court,
know that you are already a winner.
 You have been since the day
you were born. Whether you come home with the crown 
or not, you, my dear child, are and will always be
the Queen in my heart.
I love you my sweet B, enjoy all this night has to offer!"
Oh, and happy birthday!

Saturday, October 21, 2017


Most know I do repurposing scrap art,
some may not know I also teach the art to
tweens. Lots happens at these classes and
it is not just art.
This Thursday, was one of those days.
My sweet student, 11 is talking to me about
her grades.
"I've done really bad in Math, but Ms. Lilly,
I don't need that stuff they want us to learn,
like when will I ever go to Walmart and use
I use an analogy on her that I use in many 
instances. The "Lilly Theory of building a foundation."
After she blows off her steam I tell her,
"You are so very right, you will never go to 
Wally World and use fractions but how often
do you think of the cement, the foundation 
under your house?"
"What??" she asks me, wondering what this
has to do with Math."
"Right we don't think of foundations much but
if the foundation of a home, a relationship.
even the Math that seems so useless,
is not built strong, they will fall."
She is quiet while absorbing this in.
"If the things you are learning now are not 
learned then you cannot build on it to get to 
the part of Math that you will use daily as you get
deeper in to the important stuff."
I think I may have gotten through to her a tad.
We then go on, making our art, eating popcorn
(this gal loves some popcorn)
We have a great afternooon.
After she leaves I wonder if she will keep
what we said in her little mind,
did it make a difference.
I go into the bathroom after class is over.
There on my bathroom chalkboard is a message
from none other than my little student:

Of course I've heard this saying before but never
directed solely to me.
More than art, happens at the studio 
of Mummies' Cottage!

Thursday, October 5, 2017


You know those days?
When you have a few decisions to make
and you want to make the right one
but you are not sure which is the best one?
Yesterday was one of those days.
Tuesday was Randy's Mom's birthday and her
sisters were visiting from Texas.
It was my first time to meet them so I wanted
to be there for the birthday celebration.
It is an hour drive so I spent the night.
Yesterday was Blessing of the pets at
the grand girls school, St. John.
Their Mom knew I probably would not make it
so she had me print pictures of Oliver for
the girls to bring to school.
I hunted my computer so they would have
each a special picture of them with Oliver.
I knew they had those pictures as I laid in bed
in Paulina, La. and I knew they would be okay
with that for the blessing but I was not 
going to be okay.
I could not sleep knowing driving the hour and 
bringing the real thing, Oliver to school
would just make their day.
So its what I did.
I awakened and was on the road for 6:15 am.
As I am driving towards home,
I am thinking,
"They would be fine with the pictures"
"It's so early, will it really make a difference that
I and Oli are there?"
Still, I get home, put Oli in the pet carrier
and go to school.
I beat them to school. Bean's teacher is so
excited, telling me that cat is all she talks about
and every lesson left to their own accord,
for her, it's about Oliver.
Then the children start to come out for the blessing
and first it is Bean,
The picture goes on the wayside as I
place Oliver in her lap. He is content there,
 one of his favorite places.
 None of the other animals
bother him in the arms of his Bean.
Then JOJO comes out and I get another,
She places her butt in my lap and her
hand in Oli's fur.
Her picture goes on the top of her sisters.
They no longer need the photographs, they 
have the real thing.
Each child that even glances our way,
Bean points to Oliver and says,
"Look, its our cat, Oliver!"
They are so well behaved as Oliver and the other
pets get blessed. As we get ready to leave, 
Bean's whole class lines up to pet "the cat"
as they march back to class.
Bean is in that line, her face is beaming.
When it comes to her turn to give her cat that last
rub, instead, she gets out of line and gives me
the biggest hug ever.
That hug says so much,
"Thank YOU, I love you"
My heart is full.
As I help JOJO back to her little classmates
my heart is full.
JoJo wants to cry but I remind her,
"It's Mumsie day, I will see you this afternoon!"
She wipes her little eyes and gets in line like a 
little soldier, with her other three year old friends.
I walk to my car, with a content heart.
Yes, Mumsie, you made the right call, 
the right decision. The early morning drive,
the ride to St. John, I made the right decision;
Because those two little girls, 
Well they will always remember the 
They, and their baby sister, they will 
always, always be the right choice,
the right decision.

Monday, October 2, 2017


Seems like most days, we wake to some new tragedy.
This morning, it is the shooting at the Jason Aldean concert,
an open area in Las Vegas.
At least 50 dead, 200 injured and the shooter, dead.
We will not know his thoughts before this tragedy
he caused but does it really matter?
Yes, I think it does.
At a time when so many are taking a kneel or 
a sit during the National Anthem,
especially NFL players, and the commissioner and
coaches not taking a stand to stop this,
instead they will no longer televise the Anthem 
prior to games, something that has always began
every sporting event is our Country, reminding
us that we are all one, having the freedom to 
attend these events.                                          
A time when people are boycotting sporting events to
show how sickened they are,
a bigger problem hits Vegas. 
The loss of human lives,  it did not matter the 
color of your skin, where you were from,
how old you were, what country you call home.
It did not matter that you live in a country where 
you are free, free to attend an outdoor concert
no matter who you are.
For me,  I am angry.
 It makes the whole disregard for the 
US Flag and the freedom it stands for so significant.
 We need to wake up as a country and realize
that if we do not become a United Nation,
the same thing our ancestors, our own parents,
family fought for, freedom, then we deny 
the fact that this freedom is not being
taken away from us by other countries,
but by our own people. If we don't stop
giving so much attention to those 
NFL athletes that are millionaires due to
the money we pour into the the sport, then we may miss
the signs of those people such as this shooter,
who are a threat to our lives. 
We need to pay more attention to the people who surround
our lives, the evil that lives in some of these Americans.
We are not paying attention to our surroundings,
the important ones, not who is sitting or standing
during the anthem but
the signs that men and women such as this may have given
to those around him.
As I sit here listening to our President Trump,
speaking eloquently about how we must
come together as one,  the realization hits me
that our freedom is being taken 
from our very own, not foreign countries.
Lets wake up,citizens and realize that
until we all become one, standing for a flag 
that represents unity and freedom that very
same freedom will be taken from a senseless act of
some crazy American who did not care your color,
race, age or gender.
May our God Bless all those affected by this 
ridiculous act and may those who think they are making
a point by kneeling or sitting during OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM
realize they are doing nothing to stop evil from our very
own citizens.
I apologize if this blog is randomly all over the place 
and may not be written very eloquently,
My heart is just broken by this tragedy.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Moments worth dragging out.

Yesterday was a "MUMSIE NEEDED" day.
BB at work and Kd, after a day's work had to take 
the big grand girls to dance so I was asked to help.
"Here I come to save the day...." NOT lol
Anyway, it's hectic on Thursdays at the other Riera home.
Was at the house when the big girls got off bus and
Kd brought me Jemma while she brought the girls to dance.
Jemma and I have come a long way.
She now acknowledges me, "MUAZIE"
and will stay with me without too much fanfare.
Yesterday though she was wanting her Mommy as
she has not been up to par.
To calm her I pushed her on her bike while I got in some
walking. She sang while I hummed.                                             
As the afternoon wore into evening, she started to be cranky
so into the bath where all the Riera grand girls can be 
brought from unhappy to happy with the run of a bath 
of water. She played for a bit then wanted out.
Then came for the best part.
After eating her fave, a big bowl of grits  
she wanted my lap..... my lap!! 
As we rocked and watched TV she nodded off.
I could tell her temp was becoming elevated but
not going to bother her sleep until her Mommy got home.
I rocked, what I love to do, and I stared into the 
beautiful face of this child.
Many memories of other children past rocking
in this very lap, my own babies, many nieces, nephews,
great nieces and nephews.
Just a few weeks ago, I rocked Gypsy's love as she was
having a hard day. 
Oh what a lap and a rock can do to ones soul.
I stared into sweet Jemma's face and thought.
I will rock at two, I will rock at three, I will rock at 6 
and I will rock until their feet drag the floor.
I will rock because I know that sooner than later,
these moments will become far and few between.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
Never will I ever say no when a grand girl or an adult ask
"Can you rock me" or just look like it is what they need.
For selfish reasons as well, I get as much out of rocking
as the Rockee. 
I challenge you to do the same, whenever you get the chance.
It will never disappoint you.
.....Oh and if you give the rock a nice push with your foot,
its a good calf exerciser, you can tell a "rocker"
by the size of their calves.
Happy Weekend to all!

Thursday, September 28, 2017


I have told Randy I can't seem to get back to 
my blogging but there is only one way to do it 
and that is to...... DO IT!
So here I am "doing it"

This past weekend Randy boo                                                                                                                   
and I went boat riding.
It was his first since his knee surgery a year ago.
It was my first in his waterways, in his boat.
Most small towns in Louisiana have their
own set of waterways and I was amazed that
we are still in Louisiana as each waterway has its
own unique look, all beautiful in its own way.
We rode in the waterway of BLIND RIVER
where we docked and walked in.....
Swamp, yep swamp... almost like quicksand as we
sank to our ankles in some places.
All to find the TRAPPERS CABIN
that Boo was so excited to show me, a memory of his past.
Once he finally found where it should be,
we looked around and found it!

Sadly it had been carried off by current a bit and was no
longer a standing cabin. The wood, the wood was beautiful!
So many different colors.
It may not have been together but the wood looked
like it would last a lifetime and then some.
I fell in love with the broken down cabin.

Our next stop was a church,
It reminded me of the smallest church of
Fourchon, my home area.
That church was lost in one of the storms and
I will always be thankful for the photographs I took
of our little church just weeks before it "no longer was".
That photo hangs in the home of Baby boy and Kd.
 This little church of Blind River, although had damage to
the wharf, the building was strong, sturdy and gorgeous!
We didn't visit the inside this trip.
It will be one for the future.

Again, I was taking it all in, sitting next to my boo
with many deep thought going through my mind,
keeping most of them to myself.
How I love the waterways of Louisiana,
How although probably most are connected,
each parish seems to have its own look.
How each fancy camp we looked at could not
ever have my love more than my own little cottage.
How so many memories of my past ran through my mind.
Then, the magic happened.
Boo took me to his favorite spot, BAYOU SECRET

...And there it was! HOME!
The small "water trails" of Golden Meadow.
My minds' thoughts of earlier were now
"heart speaks"
I was home!
I stood up near my boo, my arm folded across
his back and I said the words,
"It smells like home!"
Here in Bayou Secret, all my own secrets of childhood
came flooding back.
I right away, missed my Daddy.
The day he could not figure out why he could
not raise the top to give his three little girls shade
only to find out later my sisters neck was caught
between the cross bars of the frame.
The mornings when he whispered in my ear,
"You not feeling good, huh"
Which meant no school for me as he was
on his way to Dufrene's bakery for my favorite cookies
and as soon as that bus passed, we were
getting in that boat for fishing.
As I stood I felt the coolness of a few tears
on my cheek, it was not the hot sweat,
tears from my childhood.
"Happy tears" as the grand girls say.
Yes, for that half hour I was home.
A little girl who was loved beyond measure
by a man who used very few words but showed
me in actions how special I was to him.
It hit me then, it is kind of the way the boo
shows his love to me.
That day was definitely a day I felt the love.
It will forever be another of my very special days
I will never forget with the boo.

Friday, August 11, 2017


On this day, thirty two years ago,
at this time of the morning, I had begun
early labor and knew that this day
would be my first baby's first birthday.
I had awakened at 4 Am knowing this
discomfort was the real thing.
I didn't awaken his Dad, I wanted to be up
and spend a few hours with myself because
after that morning, life as I knew it would be changed.
I was right, of course, but I had no clue just
how much.
I decided it was time for the hospital at about noon
and the Baby boy was born at 3:45pm after
a very quick and easy labor.
On that day, I began wearing my "heart on my sleeve".
He was beautiful and perfect in every way.
It took me days to realize he was ours and
I would get to take him home and keep him.
I was excited and scared at the same time.
Although I had many young nieces and nephews
and knew lots about babies, this one,
I knew would teach me lots and that he did.
He taught me that a sleeping baby is one
you don't mess with.
He taught me that a smile could change
the outlook of a day, a week, a year.
He taught me that I would now view world problem
with him in my mind.
He taught me this and so much more in the span of days.
I remember the day he first smiled at me with 
recognition, a real smile, not one of the gassy ones
of before. 
I was standing at the sink of our mobile home,
holding him and trying to wash a few dishes at the same time.
I probably was humming or singing when I realized
he was staring into my face.
I looked down to see this beautiful child give me
the biggest, toothless, cheesy grin.
My knees became a little week and
I had to sit down at the beauty of it.
On this morning, I can see BB reading this and
rolling his eyes thinking "She is so dramatic"
yet the feelings surrounding that first smile has
carried me through lots.
I am so very proud of this child.
At the young age of 32
he has over 10 years with Chevron,
he and his Kd have a home they planned themselves,
three beautiful little girls who adore them,
a hard working young man who likes doing for others.
He loves hunting fishing, anything in the "outside"
Nothing melts me more than watching him interact
with his little ones, A hands on Dad, makes me proud
to be his Momma.
Happy Birthday, my first born, my only son,
Know that in a world that sometimes seems
unfair or complicated, I always, always
stand in your corner, cheering you on.
"My life, would suck without you in it"

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

54????? IT CANNOT BE!

Today, 54 years ago today, I was born....
hard to believe...the body says it is true, the mind, the heart?
Well it has a completely different conception.
WAAYYYYY back on this day in 1963, I was born to
older parents, Freddie Collins, 45 years old and
Minta Collins, 43. Who in the heck has babies at that age?
Yet I was far from their first, the baby of 7 other children,
11 pregnancies. My sister, C was only two years older than me
so its not like I was that big of a surprise,
The surprise to me as an adult, my oldest sister, Simone
Taunt Mone to most, is 24 years older than me.
I was showered and spoiled to the brim with love and
attention. If being born the baby and the last were not enough,
to have found out I had an incurable cancer at 5 
only added to the attention.
I remember lots from those days, probably more
than most 5 year old should.
I must have been a firecracker even way back then
because no incurable cancer could take my life.
Yet, in a way it did.
It took my 5 year old frail, quiet life
and made me a vocal little spitfire full of
quirkiness. Even at a young age as that
I knew I was one of the lucky ones.
Today, still I see people passing and suffering
from the dreaded C and while my heart cries
for them all, I know I was spared for a reason.
I am loud and vocal, opinionated but kind.
I dance in the aisles, sing whether there is music or not.
I was blessed to have two children when I was told there would be
none and put all I had into being their Mom.
I was far from perfect, still am, but every EVERY 
decision I ever made while Mothering them was
with their best interest in my heart.
When I found my 30 year marriage coming to an end
I knew it would not be the end of me.
I mean in no way to say anything negative to my 
ex, he was financially, the one who made it possible
to be the Momma I wanted to be.
We have both found our way to a happier life.
I never thought at 54 I could find my way to be
 a person I like most always.
Yes, the treatment that saved my life back in 1968 
plays havoc on my body, in no way am I bitter as
the ultimatum would have been death.
I am now a person whom I like and love most days.
I am a person who wants and hopes I bring joy to 
those lives I touch. It is my calling, it is why I have beat
the odds given to me so very long ago.
So to all who love me, call me Mom, sister, lover, friend,
Aunt,  Nannie, Mumsie, Lil, I say thank you on this fine
54th birthday
THANK YOU  for allowing me to be part of your lives
and I hope I have made some sort of difference in yours.
Every years since my kiddo's are young and asked me,
"Mommy what do you want for your birthday, xmas, etc..."
The answer has always been a love letter.
There is nothing in this life I need materialistic,
well the lottery would be nice, but that is a separate blog.
I want to know what I am to you in words in speech.
I don't want to hover over my funeral one day and hear the
thoughts and words of those I hold dear to my heart.
I will always want only to know I was important in your life.
Thanks to all who will or have wished me a 
Happy Birthday! 
All are appreciated and as the boo reminded me this morning,
"... all the bday wishes will be from people who
love and appreciate you. None are lagniappe!"
Could not have said it better.
Love to all!!!!


I have always loved meeting, speaking to flamboyant
men, always think they can become some of my best friends,
but usually when I meet such a lad, 
it is a quick encounter.
Such was the case one day last week when
I was between testing and had a little time to kill.
Where else to hang out than a booth rental flea market.
As I explore a corner I hear a loud voice,
"Yep" I answer.
He then grabs a pair of used Oxfords, bright yellow in color:
I've no doubt he does.
I show him another pair that are not quite as loud, that
can be worn on most days. They are an expensive shoe
with some wear to them. He slides them on,
they so comfy....
I'm going ask them to go down."
they are 30 and while they are worth it for that brand I 
understand from further conversation that my new friend
is without much extra money.
He comes find me in this huge place,
"Twenty fie, won't go down mo"
Darn I say to myself and to my new pal.
As I walk around, looking for deals, things to repurpose,
He and I keep running into each other, having 
different conversations each time.
I give him my business card because one, 
I can see us becoming friends and two,
he is interested in possible hiring me to do a few things
for him. Each conversation makes me feel closer to him
and has me thinking of those shoes and how I want him
to have the shoes that fit him so perfectly and how
I just collected 25 bucks from a scrap job I had done.
Finally, I hear this colorful man checking out
and I just cannot let him leave without those shoes.
I hurry to the dark corner where we met, where
our new-one day friendship began, and I grab
those shoes, run to the register, put the box on the counter
with the 25 dollars and I hug him and walk away....
I see his shock, tears in his eyes.
He does not say No, no sign of protest, just
shock and pure love in his eyes.
He allows me to be the giver of
and I have the pure satisfaction of knowing
that those beautiful, wild shoes will walk the
streets of Bourbon Street with my flamboyant 
friends feet nestled in their comfort.

Friday, July 28, 2017


A few days ago, a friend was having a rough time,
needed some time away from her daily life.
She was worried about coming to the Cottage would
interfere with The Boo or I's visits.
So I say here, a few things to all.
First, the Cottage belongs to me only on the Deed,
where my name is boldly printed,
yet it belongs to all, all those who call
me sister, aunt, Mom, Mumsie, friend, etc.
The Cottage, like a church, is just a structure without
people in it and enjoying it.
The Cottage brings me peace, joy, relaxation, creativity.
The Boo visits but his time here is limited due to work
and owning his own home. His visiting here
should never influence anyones choice to come here.
Whether you need a day or a night to refresh or
a week or month to "get away", 
whether I am at the Cottage or gone,
all are welcomed here, 
It is only a structure without the people I love
surrounding it.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Another Fallen Classmate...

Just when I believe this blog will take a turn
to happier moments, another dear classmate and
friend has died.
Greg Terry.
He and I were not best buds but he was that
to two of my closest friends,
my cousin Reggie and my pal, Patrick.
Not many days passed in the highschool era that
Reggie, Greg and sometimes Patrick were not together.
As Reggie texted to me last night,
"...Not a day in Jr. high and high school was Greg and
I not together, like you and Laurie and Ann."
I remember that vividly, one day in particular.
I was driving around in my orange Pinto and
decided to go hang with the cuz,
Who was there, none other than Greg Terry.
We sat around and talked for hours probably about
everyone else in our class.
He was a kind man but over the years I have lost
touch with him yet his name came up lots in the
last year when I began to rekindle the friendships
between Patrick, Reggie and I.
We are not old yet, we are 53-give or take a year or two.
Yet when our parents were that age, we believed that was old.
Our classmates are too young to say goodbye to this life.
However, like the last few blogs I believe they are on
the journey of a lifetime, one all of us here on Earth cannot
understand and some of us fear.
RIP Greg and may all who love you know 
you, my dear have entered into the phase of

Friday, July 7, 2017


Ironic is what it is. 
If I ever needed confirmation that 
Blogging, sharing my thoughts was
Something I must do, I received that yesterday. 
Bestie Ann and I made it to the funeral
Of our dear friend and classmate Roxanne. 
We met Laurie there with her bestie babies. 
As I make it to the front of the church to
Pay my respects to the family many memories
Flood back. Roxanne in high school, 
Roxanne working with us at the hospital, 
Roxanne playing Pokeno with our group
For many years. I stop to speak and give hugs to 
Rox's parents and then her dear daughter, Who is
An adult now. She is so composed. So much like her Mother
In that way. I think she may not remember me 
From our Pokeno days when she was a little girl
So I remind her of who I am. 
She counters back with 
"Oh yeah, I remember you because of your blog. 
My Mom loved your blog and often shared from 
It or had me read it" 
Wow! I now know I don't do this just for me
But for those who may get something out of the
Things I write. 
I ask for permission to use her Mom and she says 
"Blog away, please!" 
So today I begin a routine once again involving 
Early mornings, a cup of coffee and 
A blog. 
Thanks Alyssa for showing me the way 

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Random thoughts..

I have not blogged much lately,
not journaling much either,
I've lost the habit due to not doing them often enough.
So today, I know I have to get back to blogging.
I have had some unsettling days lately when it comes
to death. Young people, about my age dying.
Some from dreaded big C and
another unexpected and shocking.
I don't know why death is so unsettling 
for me right now.
Is it because you just never know when the
earthly life is over or am I too far from 
my faith? Let me share some of my thoughts here:
I know there is something else after this life, 
My faith is strong in that.
My fears are that I don't know the process
and I have big fears of the unknown,
it is most of our worst fear,
fear of the unknown.
At the funeral of a friend,
who passed unexpectedly, I am told by her father in law,
"It's just too fast, maybe after a long illness,
but this, you can't plan for this"
I think a lot about that since then.
Until my dear high school friend died after
battling cancer for over two years.
I visited with her last summer when hope was
still such a big part of her life.
She inspired me, sitting there so beautiful in 
her words, thin, showing off her wigs,
never giving up on the "next treatment"
Her last week, she suffered and her family could
do nothing but be with her and be her advocate.
So I now believe, whether you are taken unexpectedly 
or after a long illness, it is just not ever easy for
our Earthly beings.
I know both these friends, having lived their lives
for others, are no doubt going to a better place.
It is us, left behind to wonder, are made to 
struggle with their loss.
And for me? I continue to wonder what is after
this life. It is not meant to be known.
RIP Marie and Roxanne.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Tuts turns three

(Typed on phone excuse any typo's until
I can get home)
Our Tuts, our jojo turns three tomorrow. 
In some ways it seems like a lifetime ago
Since she was born, like she has been with
Us forever. Other times, like just yesterday 
When she came into our world. 
It is in her three years of life
That I, as a single woman has
Made the most changes in my life. 
I will always look upon her little life 
As being almost like a new birth 
For myself as well. 
Our Jojo/tuts is one of the funniest litttle
Sprites, like a little fairy
Who has come into our chaotic lives
To remind us to "slow down" 
Take a minute to smells the roses,
Sit down and watch her perform. 
I hope I always give her that time, 
When she decides to entertain us.
I will share one of our many Jojo-isms. 
She had show off day at dancing 
And while the other girls stood in a line and
Followed the teachers dance steps,
Jo walked back and forth from wall to wall
Singing her favorite Muhana song. 
Nothing was going to kill her party. 
A few days later she came to play 
And I took the opportunity to read 
To her the card/ love letter I had made her. 
"I am so proud of how you sing when 
You want and dance when you want..." 
she stared right into my eyes, as serious 
As a three year old could be.....
I am thinking she is going to thank me
But no, not our jojo...
"I wish, I could be the perfect daughter,
But I come back to the water...."
I think she may be finished, no
A breath and then 
"Every step I take every move I make..."
Yes she sang the whole song...
And her Mumsie, well she melted 
" you our sweet jojo, you are more than the perfect 
Daughter. You are the most 
Grandest three year old I Know"
Happy birthday sweet jojo

Tuesday, May 16, 2017


My Mothers Day officially ended yesterday
evening, when gypsy and her girl Del, visited.
Over the last few days, I have thought much of
the holiday of Mothers Day.
Small, one day holidays are sometimes over rated 
to me, mostly because it can become stressful
trying to get all the people you think of when you 
say the word Mother, in a one day visit.
However, me and the boo... we did it,
we spent brunch at Cracker Barrel with his sweet
Momma, Mrs. Barbara along with his brother
and his family. Then to Kd's parents for lunch
with my baby boy, my KD and the grand girls.
Now my thoughts, Mother, something I, for 
many years, didn't think I would ever be able
to share with other Mothers.
Having been a childhood cancer survivor, told
I would never have children and to find out
nine months into a marriage that I was pregnant,
well, it was just a miracle to me.
Four years later, his sister came into my world 
and changed it forever.
They are my children, mine, and I adore them both
for who they are, for the way they are,
Yet, being their Mother is wild, they are so
different. I have Baby boy, who I see with his three
little girls and I could melt watching the love he
has for them. Just this same weekend he danced on
stage with the Bean for her recital and I beamed 
with pride for my child. 
He is overprotective of me in a quiet way,
always wanting to help me with household projects.
He, as I grow older will be my
Last night, spending a few hours with my gypsy baby,
so different from her brother, being the 
first to say, "I am not a maternal person except for my dog"
"I know I am selfish" However, I want to say to her,
it's not selfish when you know what you want,
how you want to live your life and verbally state it.
So many feel this way and do not have the courage
to admit this, It is why I admire her so much!
One of the many ways. I know she will be 
when the time comes that I need help medically, she
will be the one to care for me as she has had
to do over the years when I was ill.
No matter how old she is, We will always be comfortable,
laying in the same bed, reading, talking, etc.
She is the best daughter I could have had for me.
Then there is my daughter in law, my KD,
as I have always said about her
"I could not have hand picked a girl better for my son".
I will forever keep a medallion she gave me as a gift
a few years ago stating,
It always makes me proud to be her Mother in law.
A few weeks ago, baby boy being at work,
Kd, coming home from a busy work day only 
to have to hurriedly get Bean ready for dance practice
while the other two were screaming for her attention.
Kd came out of the bathroom where she was dressing
bean and seem flustered, Bean not having been the nicest 
to her Mommy that day, I had Bean ride with me to
dance and I told her a few things, one being
"GEE, (I sometimes call her this)
 you have to realize their are three women in this
world who not only will always love and have your back
no matter what happens, but will love you 
unconditionally, always: Me, your Mumsie, Maw Maw Cathy,
and last but not least your dear Mother"
That night, I am laying in bed and I find this small writing,
and I send it to my DIL, as I feel its something she needed 
to hear that day:
How beautiful? Have we, as Mothers not all had a
point in our Mothering that we needed to hear these
very same words? I know I have.
I have shared how being mother to my children has 
completed me as a woman. I find myself now finding
time to nurture my own new relationships and
home business and getting the moral support 
from my grown children. Their understanding
of where my life is right now is something
I have needed so much and I have not told them that.
Thank you, my babies, for understanding that
I have given you two all of me for the last 30 
something years and now I must be able to nurture
my next phase of life. It has not been easy these last 4 years
but we have stayed strong, and have come out on 
the other side still whole and loving each other.
Although you two will always be loved by me
unconditionally and that I will also always
be on your side of the ring, I now must
find my own life as a Mother to adult children,
giving myself some time to be a tad selfish so to 
have myself a life I can grow into as I become an
older woman. Thank You, my babies, for trying
your best to understand this.
Last but not least,
I remain with the pillow covered with the pillow case
that my own Mother laid her head on the last day she
was with us, I have yet to wash that case, don't see myself
ever washing it, Why not, you may ask?
Because, if, like I did on Mothers Day morning,
put my nose deeply into the folds of that pillow and
smell deeply, I can still smell her, and as it is with me,
a smell can take me back to places of when she was 
still here with me. I was blessed with the best Momma for me
and I pray that as the years pass, my babies, and their own
babies will think of me lovingly and admiringly
when they smell the scent of Clinique Aromatics body lotion,
and feel the warmth of the love of their own Mother.


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