Looking Back on old blogs of lilbitofmyworld....

Feeling a Tad sad today...

Although it has been a crazy 6 years for My ex and I

and his family,

Yesterday he lost his half sister.

On January 19th of this year,

she sent me a text asking for forgiveness for

any pain she every had brought to me,

that I would always be her sister in law,

thanked me for all I had done for her,

especially when she got her first diagnosis of kidney cancer.

I told her then I had forgiven her a long time ago

and did love her.

I did not think less than a month later she would

die from her reoccurrence of kidney cancer.

I looked back on my old blog,

lilbitofmyworld.blogspot.com

Maybe there I would find some comfort from the weird feelings

I have today.

I find this that i Posted in 2013.

Again, I say God sometimes speaks to me in words read in books.

In this wonderful book on page 177 I read this 

as it relates to my life:

"...it is called a survivorship mentality...

I have come to understand what being a survivor means.

It is bestowed on those who see a glimmer of light 

in a hall of darkness. It is a person who has no

doubts, no fear and only confidence,

who at times seems irrational.

It is a person who believes that he or she

alone can find the solution, and that at the right moment,

it will become evident. 

It is confidence that exudes optimism hand in hand with faith...

Being a survivor must be more than an ability 

to find solutions; it must also be an ability to cope.

Suddenly I understand what it means and I wonder if

I am up for the challenge..."

Yes, I am a survivor. I will find my way and every day

I have a new understanding a new idea.

Great things will come from this new understanding

of my life, whether it be to speak out to others

or to be someone others look to.

Whatever it is, I am up for the challenge.

I AM A SURVIVOR.

I guess today it is what I needed to read.

I may feel sad today for the loss of her and

things that have been brought to the surface

from long ago,

but give me a few hours of "feeling sorry for myself"

and I will be fine because it's what I do...

I will be stronger because of it.

MY BROTHERS MISHAP...

I often wonder if things lost are found and if not,

where are they now, the same as when people pass away,

I want to know "Where are they right now..."

Which brings me to my blog today.

I recently bought the new iPad Pro for the sole reason

of writing my book and it turns it into type.

I am writing my memories of being a childhood cancer

survivor through the eyes of my 5 year old self.

Since yesterday I have been obsessed with my brother, Peter's

graduation ring. You see when I was fighting my battle of

cancer my brother was fighting a different war, Vietnam.

I have been told the story that he had gotten a special family leave

to come home to see his sick baby sister.

In his travels, he took a ferry across the river and was

leaning on the ledge twirling his South Lafourche graduation ring.

I wonder what he was thinking, but regardless he

dropped his ring into the Mississippi river.

I have thought of this often through my life but more

since I and the Boo began Metal Detecting.

Finding the ring I am sure is almost impossible

as the weight of it probably had it sink right into the mud

But would it not be fantastic if that ring would be found

washed up to one of the lands of the Mississippi?

That would make for a great special interest story....

                   

A LOVE STORY THAT CROSSES ALL BOUNDARIES.

Over the Christmas holidays, I was fortunate to meet a 

new friend. As we get older it becomes harder to find a 

true friend right away who you know would do almost 

anything for you. After Christmas, we had lunch together

and he told me one of the most beautiful love stories.

I am writing with his permission but leaving names out.

He is a widower, having lost his wife two years ago.

He tells the story of how lost and depressed he was at the

beginning of the loss. Yet as time went on, he found his days

getting a little easier, until a birthday or an anniversary came along.

After over a year he ran into another old friend who also had

become a widower as a young woman with children.

By this time she was remarried and he had a very

important question to ask her.

"When does the feeling like you are cheating on your spouse go away?"

This seemed to have been weighing on his heart as

he was trying to move on.

She shared some very good advice, the biggest part

of it was this, she pointed to the wedding ring he still wore

and said, "... and you need to pick up your wedding ring,

take it off, kiss it and put it away."

He listened to all her advice and told her how he felt about

it all and said, "But I am not going to stop wearing my wedding ring."

A few days later, working at his homestead, he was bit

by ants on that hand that caused his ring finger to swell quite a bit.

He took the wedding ring off so that it would not get stuck with

every intention to put it back on once his bites healed

He speaks of a few times trying to put the sacred ring back on and

the finger remained too swollen to get the ring on.

He took this as a sign from his wife, kind of telling him,

giving him permission to move on.

He remembered another word of advice his friend had given him

"Your wife, she would not want you to be alone as you age,

to waste the years you have left alone."

As the ring continued not to fit, these thoughts crossed his 

mind and heart. So, after days, he took his friends advice,

kissed the ring

and as he put it in his jewelry box he spoke

to his dear wife, "This must be your sign that its time to move on"

He never wore it again and the guilt feeling he felt when 

speaking to his friend seemed to be gone.

What a beautiful story of marriage, selflessness and a wife

helping her husband overcome his grief.

I often say, Sometimes The Big Man does for us, what we don't

have to courage to do for ourselves. this beautiful story is one

of those examples. 

Thank you friend for sharing such a special story and allowing me

to share it here for others to read, experience.

Sometimes you make a difference when you are not even aware.

Yesterday was a day with the besties and Lindsey, a bestie baby.

We had a great long and leisurely lunch at Grady V in Thibodaux.

Many may have complained with our wait of 3 hours

but we had a lot to catch up on.

Yet this is not my blog....

I had to go to Best Buy to return something.

Since I was close to Houma I decided to return there.

I am at Customer service explaining I didn't have

a receipt when the beautiful black girl 

was staring at me.

"I know you, you were MY school nurse"

The way she said MY was like even though I have 1200 

children under my care, she felt like I was hers.

Ashley her name says and I look in her face for the

little one and I do think I remember her but she remembers lots.

"Nurse Lilly, I used to love going to your office. I have

outgrown my asthma"

I am more surprised of how this young girl has become

a beautiful adult, who has come so far from that little girl.

I asked if she did have a sister, she says excitedly. "Yes"

She goes on to say her sister now lives in Idaho and

the grandmother she lived with has now passed.

I asked her how did she know it was me.

"Your voice and your face, I will never forget you because

no matter what, you were always kind and you had

those special peppermints you gave us."

I am just tickled about how much she remembers,

"I wish I could go back there, I loved it there at TES"

It makes my heart happy to see her all grown up, with 

a job, looking healthy and a beautiful young woman.

She was one of those children I worried about,

raised by a grandmother who basically took care of herself

and her sister. The fact that I made some type of difference

in her life and left her with good memories proves

one of a statement I use often,

"It takes a Village to raise a child"

IT'S A NEW YEAR, TIME FOR A NEW WORD...

HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2019!

Every year I try and pick a word as "my word"

for the year. Because I am a big Intagramer,

I like using hash tag, 

#365daysof..... and whatever my word is.

I don't post everyday but I try not to miss many days.

Last year my word was gratefulness.

Looking back on my posts of 2019,

I am pleased with those that I did post.

Being a journaler as well, I am trying to write something

daily. So, you may be wondering, 

"What is the word?"

APPRECIATION

Because there are so many things to be appreciative of.

I am not so much a New Years Resolution person,

I do think of things that I would like to change for the better.

I won't bore you with those but they are positive changes.

Hopefully I get past the first week that most resolutions make 

in the new year.

Pick yourself a word, let yourself focus on that word

and maybe write down something each day on that word.

Just a little challenge on this day 3rd of 2019! 

A day in my book....

I've been painting, painting, painting....

Like a lot, as I am so very blessed that since

I began with the first Home portrait painted

for Rhett, I have been non stop with orders

for portraits of homes.

Yesterday, however, I took a break from that.

Yep, shut it down for a whole day.

Why you may ask (or not lol)?

Because I was asked to keep my great niece, Lillian

(yes, my namesake) as she was off for the holidays

but her parents, both teachers had one more day.

She came all dressed up as we were going to make

mass with Bean at her school, to end this year.

A beautiful mass.

Then once the three grand girls were finished their school parties,

their Mom brought them to the cottage along

with an extra who is almost like another grand girl for me,

Bean's best friend, Mia.

A cottage FULL of estrogen!

I had bought all we needed for an art project

because estrogen induced little girls love, love, love art.

We made candy cane reindeer's!

I had all set up at the dining table along with snacks.

I showed them one and they went to town 

decorating their candy canes.

They wanted me to make a you tube video and I did.

It didn't last long but we did decorate quite a few reindeer!

There are a few things I am quite proud of when

the grand girls plus friends, nieces visit...

The television is rarely turned on and aside from

me taping a you tube video, no one asked

for a phone, and iPad, a computer.

Instead they retreated to the play room to play 

with all the things this Mumsie keeps there for 

their entertainment.

From the age of 3 to 9, all got along and played.

A beautiful day had us outside and not to be outdone

by a bunch of little girls, I suggested a game of

MOTHER MAY I.

You remember that game.....

My grand girls know how to play as we play it often.

We had to explain the rules to a few.

Then we got into our game.

For whatever reason, these little girls

only wanted to see Mumsie do ballerina twirls

as it is all the "Mothers" ever asked me to do.

"Why am I only getting ballerina twirls?"

the answer?

"Because its funny to watch and you are too old for cartwheels"

Phahahahahahha

There is something about when the girls visit Mumsie....

Mumsie plays too, no matter what it is we playing.

Mia, during the course of the day, made a statement

"I can call you Mumsie too?" 

Of course, as she has only called me that for the

last few years. It makes me proud of how most of

the grand girl's friends call me Mumsie.

And the TV and the electronics remained unimportant.

The day flew by as we played games, did art in the studio,

played Wizard of Oz and Barbies, babies and school.

It is a true statement when the last of the grand girls were

picked up this Mumsie was pooped with a big smile and

an even bigger heart. I straightened up the cottage and

made my way to bed with a book in hand

but my thoughts were on this day.

I am proud of all the Cottage means not only to me

but to a bunch of little girls, who love spending time

here. I like to believe it's not just the Cottage that they love

but the owner, the Mumsie that lives here as well.

I know these times are a passing, that sooner than

I want to admit, the time will come where I will not

be the place they want to be on their first day of Christmas 

holiday. But for now, a tired Mumsie was 

a happy and loved Woman!

Cami-girl gets a car....

....AND YOU GET A CAR, AND YOU....

No it's not an Oprah moment,

but my second to youngest god child, Cami

finally received her wheels!

It took her a little longer as most of her friends,

one, she had to do a few things to get her life in order,

then she had to get her license and a job,

Now while waiting to join the National Guard,

she had to save enough money...

This is where her Nannie came into play.

Let me take you back almost 20 years ago....

Cameron Tamplain is not only my godchild, she is also 

my great niece, born to my nephew and his teen girlfriend.

My nephew was so not ready to be a Daddy and her Mom

did the best she could at the time, loving her was one thing

she did well. My sis, Rosie, being her Gammy helped where

she could and I was the best Nannie I could be as I was 

also still raising my own rugrats.

But I did one thing that stands out to me, in her life.

I did not know what her future would hold and

I knew all holidays as a young child she would have

what she needed. So I opened her up a savings account.

Every birthday, every Christmas, every Holiday,

I would put the money I would have put into a gift

she would forget about, into this account.

It did not seem like much but by the time she was

16/17 there was 2,000 dollars.

At that time I was going through a divorce and had

to stop adding to it so I cashed it in and just waited.

Waited for her to finish growing up,

waiting for her mom and her Daddy,

who have now grown to be two fine parents after

their own growing up and her Dad sobering up, starting

a sweet little family as well as her Mom.

So time passed, I reminded her Dad about the money

that he had totally forgot about.

I explained that when he thought she was ready to be

responsible with the money I had it ready for her.

This week he and I spoke and she had found a car

in Mississippi. 

Then she and her Gammy drove to my house to get the

gifts I have given her over 16 years,

enough cash to buy her first car!

It was a wonderful day and I am honored that

i was able to give her her first car.

It may not be much, but it is hers, paid in full

and she seems not affected at all that her Nannie

gave very few gifts as a child.

So if you have a little child you love,

be the one that instead of giving those toys they

won't play with by the end of the day, clothing

that they will either not like or will outgrow so quickly,

think of opening them a savings account so that

when they become "ready" you can have a hand

in their first car, house, etc.

I have never regretted this decision and if anything,

was honored that the smile on her face

when those keys were handed to her,

well, I played a small part in it!

I love you Cami-girl!