Saturday, July 8, 2017

Another Fallen Classmate...

Just when I believe this blog will take a turn
to happier moments, another dear classmate and
friend has died.
Greg Terry.
He and I were not best buds but he was that
to two of my closest friends,
my cousin Reggie and my pal, Patrick.
Not many days passed in the highschool era that
Reggie, Greg and sometimes Patrick were not together.
As Reggie texted to me last night,
"...Not a day in Jr. high and high school was Greg and
I not together, like you and Laurie and Ann."
I remember that vividly, one day in particular.
I was driving around in my orange Pinto and
decided to go hang with the cuz,
Who was there, none other than Greg Terry.
We sat around and talked for hours probably about
everyone else in our class.
He was a kind man but over the years I have lost
touch with him yet his name came up lots in the
last year when I began to rekindle the friendships
between Patrick, Reggie and I.
We are not old yet, we are 53-give or take a year or two.
Yet when our parents were that age, we believed that was old.
Our classmates are too young to say goodbye to this life.
However, like the last few blogs I believe they are on
the journey of a lifetime, one all of us here on Earth cannot
understand and some of us fear.
RIP Greg and may all who love you know 
you, my dear have entered into the phase of
FOREVER LIFE.

Friday, July 7, 2017

Ironic

Ironic is what it is. 
If I ever needed confirmation that 
Blogging, sharing my thoughts was
Something I must do, I received that yesterday. 
Bestie Ann and I made it to the funeral
Of our dear friend and classmate Roxanne. 
We met Laurie there with her bestie babies. 
As I make it to the front of the church to
Pay my respects to the family many memories
Flood back. Roxanne in high school, 
Roxanne working with us at the hospital, 
Roxanne playing Pokeno with our group
For many years. I stop to speak and give hugs to 
Rox's parents and then her dear daughter, Who is
An adult now. She is so composed. So much like her Mother
In that way. I think she may not remember me 
From our Pokeno days when she was a little girl
So I remind her of who I am. 
She counters back with 
"Oh yeah, I remember you because of your blog. 
My Mom loved your blog and often shared from 
It or had me read it" 
Wow! I now know I don't do this just for me
But for those who may get something out of the
Things I write. 
I ask for permission to use her Mom and she says 
"Blog away, please!" 
So today I begin a routine once again involving 
Early mornings, a cup of coffee and 
A blog. 
Thanks Alyssa for showing me the way 

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Random thoughts..

I have not blogged much lately,
not journaling much either,
I've lost the habit due to not doing them often enough.
So today, I know I have to get back to blogging.
I have had some unsettling days lately when it comes
to death. Young people, about my age dying.
Some from dreaded big C and
another unexpected and shocking.
I don't know why death is so unsettling 
for me right now.
Is it because you just never know when the
earthly life is over or am I too far from 
my faith? Let me share some of my thoughts here:
I know there is something else after this life, 
My faith is strong in that.
My fears are that I don't know the process
and I have big fears of the unknown,
it is most of our worst fear,
fear of the unknown.
At the funeral of a friend,
who passed unexpectedly, I am told by her father in law,
"It's just too fast, maybe after a long illness,
but this, you can't plan for this"
I think a lot about that since then.
Until my dear high school friend died after
battling cancer for over two years.
I visited with her last summer when hope was
still such a big part of her life.
She inspired me, sitting there so beautiful in 
her words, thin, showing off her wigs,
never giving up on the "next treatment"
Her last week, she suffered and her family could
do nothing but be with her and be her advocate.
So I now believe, whether you are taken unexpectedly 
or after a long illness, it is just not ever easy for
our Earthly beings.
I know both these friends, having lived their lives
for others, are no doubt going to a better place.
It is us, left behind to wonder, are made to 
struggle with their loss.
And for me? I continue to wonder what is after
this life. It is not meant to be known.
RIP Marie and Roxanne.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Tuts turns three

(Typed on phone excuse any typo's until
I can get home)
Our Tuts, our jojo turns three tomorrow. 
In some ways it seems like a lifetime ago
Since she was born, like she has been with
Us forever. Other times, like just yesterday 
When she came into our world. 
It is in her three years of life
That I, as a single woman has
Made the most changes in my life. 
I will always look upon her little life 
As being almost like a new birth 
For myself as well. 
Our Jojo/tuts is one of the funniest litttle
Sprites, like a little fairy
Who has come into our chaotic lives
To remind us to "slow down" 
Take a minute to smells the roses,
Sit down and watch her perform. 
I hope I always give her that time, 
When she decides to entertain us.
I will share one of our many Jojo-isms. 
She had show off day at dancing 
And while the other girls stood in a line and
Followed the teachers dance steps,
Jo walked back and forth from wall to wall
Singing her favorite Muhana song. 
Nothing was going to kill her party. 
A few days later she came to play 
And I took the opportunity to read 
To her the card/ love letter I had made her. 
Partly,
"I am so proud of how you sing when 
You want and dance when you want..." 
she stared right into my eyes, as serious 
As a three year old could be.....
I am thinking she is going to thank me
But no, not our jojo...
"I wish, I could be the perfect daughter,
But I come back to the water...."
I think she may be finished, no
A breath and then 
"Every step I take every move I make..."
Yes she sang the whole song...
And her Mumsie, well she melted 
" you our sweet jojo, you are more than the perfect 
Daughter. You are the most 
Grandest three year old I Know"
Happy birthday sweet jojo

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

BELATED MOTHERS DAY THOUGHTS

My Mothers Day officially ended yesterday
evening, when gypsy and her girl Del, visited.
Over the last few days, I have thought much of
the holiday of Mothers Day.
Small, one day holidays are sometimes over rated 
to me, mostly because it can become stressful
trying to get all the people you think of when you 
say the word Mother, in a one day visit.
However, me and the boo... we did it,
we spent brunch at Cracker Barrel with his sweet
Momma, Mrs. Barbara along with his brother
and his family. Then to Kd's parents for lunch
with my baby boy, my KD and the grand girls.
Now my thoughts, Mother, something I, for 
many years, didn't think I would ever be able
to share with other Mothers.
Having been a childhood cancer survivor, told
I would never have children and to find out
nine months into a marriage that I was pregnant,
well, it was just a miracle to me.
Four years later, his sister came into my world 
and changed it forever.
They are my children, mine, and I adore them both
for who they are, for the way they are,
Yet, being their Mother is wild, they are so
different. I have Baby boy, who I see with his three
little girls and I could melt watching the love he
has for them. Just this same weekend he danced on
stage with the Bean for her recital and I beamed 
with pride for my child. 
He is overprotective of me in a quiet way,
always wanting to help me with household projects.
He, as I grow older will be my
"SUNNY-DO"
Last night, spending a few hours with my gypsy baby,
so different from her brother, being the 
first to say, "I am not a maternal person except for my dog"
"I know I am selfish" However, I want to say to her,
it's not selfish when you know what you want,
how you want to live your life and verbally state it.
So many feel this way and do not have the courage
to admit this, It is why I admire her so much!
One of the many ways. I know she will be 
"MY KEEPER" 
when the time comes that I need help medically, she
will be the one to care for me as she has had
to do over the years when I was ill.
No matter how old she is, We will always be comfortable,
laying in the same bed, reading, talking, etc.
She is the best daughter I could have had for me.
Then there is my daughter in law, my KD,
as I have always said about her
"I could not have hand picked a girl better for my son".
I will forever keep a medallion she gave me as a gift
a few years ago stating,
"THANK YOU FOR RAISING THE MAN OF OUR DREAMS"
It always makes me proud to be her Mother in law.
A few weeks ago, baby boy being at work,
Kd, coming home from a busy work day only 
to have to hurriedly get Bean ready for dance practice
while the other two were screaming for her attention.
Kd came out of the bathroom where she was dressing
bean and seem flustered, Bean not having been the nicest 
to her Mommy that day, I had Bean ride with me to
dance and I told her a few things, one being
"GEE, (I sometimes call her this)
 you have to realize their are three women in this
world who not only will always love and have your back
no matter what happens, but will love you 
unconditionally, always: Me, your Mumsie, Maw Maw Cathy,
and last but not least your dear Mother"
That night, I am laying in bed and I find this small writing,
and I send it to my DIL, as I feel its something she needed 
to hear that day:
MAMA,
YOU  WERE GIVEN THESE CHILDREN - YOU.
NO ONE ELSE.
YOU WERE GIVEN THESE CHILDREN BECAUSE
YOU ARE WHO THEY NEED.
YOU HAVE THE SOUL TO LOVE THEM
EVEN ON THEIR HARD DAYS.
YOU HAVE THE MOTIVATION AND LOVE
TO GIVE THESE CHILDREN EVERYTHING THEY NEED.
YOU HAVE THE HEART TO WAKE UP EVERY
MORNING AND TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN,
EVEN WHEN YOU ARE EXHAUSTED.
YOU HAVE THE SMILE THAT THEY CRAVE
AND THE TOUCH TO MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY.
YOU ARE THEIR SUNSHINE AND
THEIR COMFORT. 
YOU ARE THEIRS AND THEY ARE YOURS.
MOMMA.
ON THE DAYS YOU ARE QUESTIONING YOURSELF,
REMEMBER.....
YOU GOT THIS.
How beautiful? Have we, as Mothers not all had a
point in our Mothering that we needed to hear these
very same words? I know I have.
I have shared how being mother to my children has 
completed me as a woman. I find myself now finding
time to nurture my own new relationships and
home business and getting the moral support 
from my grown children. Their understanding
of where my life is right now is something
I have needed so much and I have not told them that.
Thank you, my babies, for understanding that
I have given you two all of me for the last 30 
something years and now I must be able to nurture
my next phase of life. It has not been easy these last 4 years
but we have stayed strong, and have come out on 
the other side still whole and loving each other.
Although you two will always be loved by me
unconditionally and that I will also always
be on your side of the ring, I now must
find my own life as a Mother to adult children,
giving myself some time to be a tad selfish so to 
have myself a life I can grow into as I become an
older woman. Thank You, my babies, for trying
your best to understand this.
Last but not least,
I remain with the pillow covered with the pillow case
that my own Mother laid her head on the last day she
was with us, I have yet to wash that case, don't see myself
ever washing it, Why not, you may ask?
Because, if, like I did on Mothers Day morning,
put my nose deeply into the folds of that pillow and
smell deeply, I can still smell her, and as it is with me,
a smell can take me back to places of when she was 
still here with me. I was blessed with the best Momma for me
and I pray that as the years pass, my babies, and their own
babies will think of me lovingly and admiringly
when they smell the scent of Clinique Aromatics body lotion,
and feel the warmth of the love of their own Mother.
HAPPY BELATED MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU MOMMY'S!
                                                                                                                                                                

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

SHE IS SIX

She is six now and so much has changed.
She is in school now, so our sleepovers have been cut down
a bit and usually when she comes her little sis
is in tow.
Yet, yesterday, it was just her and I.
My sweet Jilly Bean.
So much is the same, oh but so much is different.
We still take adventure walks,
now instead of me pointing out treasures,
she is pointing and picking them out herself.
Our conversations have become more advanced,
"Mumise, do you cry? Not happy tears I mean real tears"
She sings often and wants me to video her.
This is another difference, before her singing was just
for me, a one person audience.
Her coloring is no longer out the lines,
beautiful, vibrant colors, on the chalkboard last night.
I pick her up to place her in the tub,
she is solid, six year old weight,
not the feather light toddler anymore.
She no longer plays with the toys aside the tub.
"Lets hurry and bathe so we can go do card crafts"
She is not tired at 7pm, ready to play our 
favorite night game of "foosh" our version 
of a pillow fight.
Instead we go into the Studio and she makes two cards
for her little neighbors who are moving soon.
When it is finally enough time that this Mumsie can't
go anymore we retreat to the bedroom for "foosh"
No longer do my pillow throws hit her and knock her down.
No, now she hold a pillow up in front of her strategically
and blocks my pillows, stopping each one from knocking
her down. Then just when I am out of pillows she
attacks with a vengeance, My ammunition is gone,
I am at her Mercy.
We then read books, same routine since she was
a baby, that too has changed.
It's her reading to me and a chapter book.
Her head still fits in the crook of my arm but her long
body takes up more space than before.
I am aware of so much this day.
Because she is maturing, growing into such a beautiful child
who can "Drama Queen" with the best but
hold a conversation like she could not before.
I am tired then, having worked in my yard most of the day.
Lights out.... and then, then the one thing that has
not and I hope never does change,
"Hug me Mumsie, hold my hand"
"sing me prayers, Mumsie"
She hugs my arm tightly as I sing OUR FATHER
and when I get to her favorite part, she sings along,
"...FOR THE KINGDOM AND THE POWER AND THE GLORY
IS YOURS, AMEN"
She still wants to cuddle, falls asleep in my arms with
Oliver tucked between us.
She is asleep in minutes, myself, just a little longer 
as I contemplate the changes taking place in my oldest
grandgirl. Soon she will be a preteen, and perhaps
sleeping at Mumsie's won't be as appealing to her.
I treasure these moments, getting farther apart as she grows up.
She will have sleepovers at friends homes, or friends at
her own home. Yet, this Mumsie will always treasure
our times together, will always play "foosh"
no matter how big she is and how old I am
and we will always cuddle and read books,
no matter which of us is doing the reading.
Most importantly I will always sing to her the perfect prayer
and we shall always sing her favorite part with just a little more
flair,  and our night will always, always end
with an arm around her growing body and
"I love you, Jilly"
"I love you, Mumsie"



Friday, April 7, 2017

A FAMILY LIKE NO OTHER



When living in Thibodaux I met so many  
awesome people, friends. 
Some I speak to here and there and some
I am part of the family.
The Duet's, my once neighbors are family.
Having lived next door to them
for six years we have shared a lot.
Like I have blogged about before,
Katie, the neighbor, being their daughter,
became a close friend to me
with age playing no part, no age gap as
we love scrapping, crafts.
Last time I blogged about this wonderful family,
it was when their son and brother, Stephen
passed away from a rare heart disease.
One of the saddest days of my life so I
can't even imagine what that was like for them.
Today I blog about Donna, the Mother
to this heavenly child and Katie.
Last week Katie informed me that her Mother,
having gone for her routine Mammogram,
was diagnosed with Breast cancer....
WHAT???? How can this happen to 
this most amazing family? Where is the lesson
here? Knowing Donna, she does not like "fanfare"
and if she shed tears about herself, it was in 
the privacy of her home in the arms of her
family. Warren, her hubby, always being the
best supporter of all, has to be worried so.
It has not been enough tragedy that they bury
their baby boy, now his high school sweetheart
having to go through chemo., surgery,
I know him well enough to know he would 
love to take this away from her, to go through
it himself. I have no doubt, Donna will go 
through this with grace, for all the world to see
and like I have been known to say,
sometimes the things we go through has nothing 
to do with us but for someone else
in our world who needs to learn a lesson as they
watch how this family goes through this.
Katie, their daughter, will be at her Mothers side
through it all, her little Cherub, Addison and
Stephen's girlfriend, "Aunt Meal" as Addison
calls her will see them through this as well.
What I want to share is this,
this family will attack this diagnoses with
little tears, hide nothing from others who ask
questions. Donna, no matter how badly she
may feel while going through chemotherapy,
will share that with very few, going to work as
many days as she can through this ordeal.
I hold this family high on a pedestal,
not only today because of what they will face,
but the way they face all the negative things
in their lives, with honor and grace.
Soon it will be over and done, Donna
will get over this and in a few years many
won't even remember she had cancer.
Except I know she will now be an advocate
of yearly Mammograms just as her Katie will be.
Donna's worry will be for Katie and Addison, knowing
that because they are females, they may hold
the same gene she did that made one cell go crazy
to cause this breast cancer.
I love you, Duet's and in pure Lilly fashion, 
I will leave you with one funny statement to 
take the edge off this terrible diagnosis,
"YOU CAN NOW HAVE THE BOOBS OF
YOUR DREAMS AND YOUR INSURANCE
WILL PAY FOR IT!"
Love you all, here for the journey!
The Duets during happy times,  Baby boy and Kd's
wedding. Steve-O sitting, so much life!
Katie, the neighbor and sweet "Aunt Meal"
Camille, Stephen Love, no doubt she will be a 
dentist soon!
And our dear Donna holding the one who will make
this journey a little easier, our Addison, AddieMae to 
me, Aunt Mumsie.
Offer up a prayer for this sweet wonderful family!

Another Fallen Classmate...

Just when I believe this blog will take a turn to happier moments, another dear classmate and friend has died. Greg Terry. He and I...