Every life needs a Mantra

I have forgotten a few things since I began this new blog.

Every life needs a Mantra,

A slogan, word or saying that stands for what you believe.

I have found mine from 2014 and I must say, 

I still feel like it is what I want, need, believe for my life:

SLOW ME DOWN LORD
EASE THE POUNDING OF MY HEART, BY QUIETING MY MIND.
STEADY MY HURRIED PACE WITH A VISION OF ETERNAL 
REACH OF TIME.
GIVE ME, AMID THE CONFUSION OF THE DAY,
THE CALMNESS OF EVERLASTING SMILES FROM YOUR HEART.
BREAK THE TENSION OF MY NERVES AND MUSCLES
WITH THE SOOTHING MUSIC OF THE SINGING STREAMS
OF YOU IN MY MEMORY - CONSTANT.
HELP ME TO KNOW THE MAGICAL RESTORING POWER OF SLEEP.
TEACH ME THE ART OF TAKING MINUTE VACATIONS 
OF SLOWING DOWN TO LOOK AT A FLOWER,
TAKE TIME FOR A FRIEND.,
TO PAT A DOG, TO READ A FEW LINES FROM A GOOD BOOK.
SLOW ME DOWN LORD AND INSPIRE ME
TO SEND MY ROOTS DEEP INTO YOUR LIFE
ENDURING VALUES, THAT I MAY GROW 
CLOSER TO YOUR DESTINY,
MY HEAVEN.
AMEN

As I read this, I realize, it is still those things I need

to tell myself, the desires of my heart.

So much has changed in my life since 2014,

divorced, moved out of a huge house that I knew

was beautiful but too much for me, 

found my cottage that speaks my name to all who enter

and I feel proud.

Proud of the life I have made that is different from the

one I began back in the 80's.

While I will always be thankful to the Father of my children,

for keeping promises he made to me a long way back,

for being fair when it came to separating what 

30 years of marriage had gave us,

I, personally, have never been happier, more at peace,

knowing that there is a man who lives an hour from me

who loves me, who understands and agrees with the

future has in store for us, which is time together equal to

our own time to ourselves.

Yesterday, as I was riding with the Boo

knowing I was leaving him to come home to my cottage,

I was sad that it was already time to end our weekend

but then, I felt this peace surround me.

The peace of knowing the cottage, my cat, 

all those things I love were there waiting for me.

I am proud of my cottage, I love the way

I walk in and I feel like I am "home"

where I can take my shoes off and do whatever my

heart desires, 

 I love the smell of an old church that always fills 

my nose when I open my door,

and I look at that Mantra from 2014 and know,

it is still the reminders I need for my life in 2018.

THE BRUCE WEDDING...

On Saturday, the boo and I forged through the weather

to Lafayette for the Bruce wedding.

It's taken me a while to write this blog and I am still

not sure if I can put into words what the night brought me.

However, it is time to attempt..

Gavin Bruce, Gav.... almost like a son to me.

Not only was he and Gypsy baby good friends at a very young

age but in second grade, they became neighbors.

When the Burregi's moved in Tarpon Heights,

their Jaedon and the other two became "every day" friends.

Along with Jessica Rousse who also lived in the neighborhood.

When You live below Intracoastal your neighborhood becomes

a village, a village to raise your children in, where

each Mother and Father has full authority to correct,

encourage any of the other children.

And that we did!

(Randy, myself, Alice)

As we gathered on  Saturday. our three children now adults,

all our personalities have changed.

( gypsy baby, Alice, Jaedon)

(Alice, Jaedon's mom and Wanda, Gavin's mom)

These were two of the Mom's of Gypsy's village as well

as becoming some of my best friends in the neighborhood.

It is amazing to see, now that the kids are grown, how much

fun we can have together, which was proved on Saturday.

But back to the past.

Each of us were "hands on Moms" we were responsible,

strict with love. We walked together most afternoons and

our three kiddo's followed us many days either riding their bikes,

skates or skateboards. We talked of so much, personal life things,

our children, our careers... 

Just so much.

(Alice, myself, Wanda, Jae, Gavin)

So gathering for Gavin's wedding was almost marrying one 

of our own. Happy tears for us all.

...And boy did we celebrate the night, rarely

leaving the dance floor. It was a night I will never forget.

Dancing with Gavin, he tells me thank you,

Thank you for being like a third, fourth mother to him.

He is the most gracious groom, remembering to let

each of us know just how important we are to him.

(Lindsey and her Dad, during the Father/Daughter dance)

I must make remarks on this beautiful bride,

Gavin's wife, so beautiful, so natural,

Bohemian almost, loving vintage probably as much as I.

Her father has been in a wheel chair most of her life.

Not a dry eye in the venue when for the Father/Daughter dance

she jumped in her Daddy's lap and danced the way

she has always danced with him.

One of the most touching things I have witnessed.

... and another thing I must comment on,

My gypsy baby and her love, Delainey, 

enjoying each other so much at the wedding.

The Boo took this picture and I see her,

so very happy and at such a good place in her life right now.

I look around the party after Randy shows me this

photo and I realize, in a room full of "down the bayou" people

and Lindsey's family, no one looks at them awkward

actually, no one seems to even notice the love of 

two women dancing together surely in love.

This is our bayou, Acceptance of all,

no matter how you live your life.

I have not seen my gypsy this happy in a long time.

Thanks, D, for being the reason for that smile.

Then the boo.....

Thanks for being my date at such an important day for us.

Although you are not a dancer,

you were so attentive to me and my friends,

holding my jackets, my phone, my pictures,

keeping my glass cold and full. 

Allowing me to dance with all my old comrades

and when I sat to rest, blew on my neck to cool me off,

made sure we got back to the hotel safely.

You were an amazing date! Thanks for loving me the way you do.

Gavin and Lindsey,

I will share here the same advice I shared with you that night,

"Never forget how much you love that woman today, don't

let the World ever, ever come between that"

and my favorite advice to all new couples.

"When you wrong admit it, when you are right shut up."

Thanks for the best reception and wedding.

I remain thankful that I have been in the village that

raised you, Gavin.

Love to all my peeps!

BARBARA BUSH... a legend moves on to the next phase...

I have always had a love/infatuation with Barbara Bush.

For many reasons as she was one of the most

down to earth first ladies ever.

In every interview, every speech she always put the

focus back on the love of her life, our President, her husband,

George W. Bush, first.

Last night, with those who loved her surrounding her,

she made her transition to life after.

Born in 1925, what a legend she has been.

She may have been first lady but always reminded us that

her position was always second to her husband and children.

Having lost a child at three years old to Leukemia, 

she kept her alive by always talking about her,

tears in her eyes even after all these years.

In one of her last interviews, she stated,

"You can say whatever you want about me,

but never about my husband and children."

The epitome of what a woman stands for.

Always avoided controversy made her one of the

strongest women I know.

RIP to Barbara, 

you have been loved by so many more than you know.

Even a 54 year old woman here in Plaquemine, La.

ROXANNE DOUCET BRUCE.... my very first friend....

It has been such a roller-coaster of emotions these last few weeks,

From coming to grips with Mrs. Geri going into hospice,

her passing, her funeral and during all of this, I receive a text

from a dear childhood friend, my first friend who was not family,

"...Please pray as I begin my battle with the Big C"

... and I cry, Every where we turn these days, Cancer is there.

With her permission, I will try and make some type of

honor to this blog.

Like I, Roxanne Doucet Bruce, Known as Rockie as a child

(blue shirt in front)

was the baby of a large family. A wonderfully large family.

She and I became friends when my parents finally got over

the fear of my own battle with Cancer and actually let 

me branch a little out of their site.

This travel took me to the very back of Dursette Street

where I met a distant cousin but really, my first real friend

who was not living in my home.

Oh and were we friends!

Every day after school, we were at each others home.

They had an awesome playroom and our parents started

saving empty food boxes and we made a grocery store,

yes, I do believe we had more empty food boxes on our

shelves than Walmart during a hurricane watch!

We had talks, we rode bikes, we played in the woods,

we sang jingles to the new tv shows we 

were privileged to watch as our families had tv's when

color tubes were obsolete.

On sleepovers, we watched SNL, I still think of those nights

when I watch SNL these days.

When one of her brothers, Kim, died in a car accident,

I remember myself and sister C going there to give

some type of comfort to a mourning family.

It was the first time I saw a Mother grieve the loss of a child.

Even at that young age, watching her Mother's pain,

I realized Parents are not meant to bury their children.

As we got into high school, being a year apart,

we drifted a bit, having different friends,

I moved away for nursing school, she stayed and

married one of my "party" buddies from high school,

Nathan to most, Nombre' to his friends.

Then our babies came, MY gypsy baby and her E 

were friends and another generation continued.

I moved all over, she stayed grounded, having bought her

childhood home. When I got her Private message of

the battle she was about to fight,

I sent her words of encouragement, we spoke about beginning

a journal and maybe even a blog about her journey

and I am honored that she has asked me to help her with these things.

There is never a good time to fight like a girl....

She and her hubby were training to begin long distance trucking

as a team now that her two boys are grown.

Bad timing but that damn Cancer,

it takes nothing into account.

So I sit here to let my dear friend know,

Rockie:

I love you, I love you for the childhood you were part of,

never treating me like a sick child, always as a friend.

I love you for the kind hearted wife you are

and how you raised your boys with such love

that they were and still are your heart.

I love how although years may go by before we talk,

we know we can reach out to each other in good and bad

times for the things we need.

I promise to do as much as I can to help you through this journey.

I have no doubt that with your spirit and family support 

you shall win this war.

Be kind to yourself, you don't have to be a savior,

its ok to take a day off and do nothing.

Pamper yourself, take long baths but most of all

as another young friend of mine who has passed was

famous for saying,

"CHIN UP, CHEST OUT"

with the sweet gentle soul you are, Cancer will never win.

With the family and friends you have, Cancer will be run off.

Keep your spirits up and if you need a day of laughter,

call and I can be there in a few hours.

To all those reading, Roxanne believes in prayers in 

numbers so please, please pray for my dear friend.

Love you, my first friend!

(She the littlest one, others are her siblings)

Roxanne and my high school party friend, Nombre' (Nathan)

ANOTHER LOSS OF A GREAT WOMAN...

When you grow up in small towns like I did,

you best friends as children, become your life long besties.

Their parents become yours, their siblings as well.

Last night, my dear friend, ANN and her siblings,

DAVID, TINA, PETER JOHN, HOLLIE

said goodbye to their mom, Mrs. Geri.

Their Father died a few years ago of ALS

yet, their Mom, although so sad to loose her love,

never missed a beat in the Momma/grandma role.

I can remember such good memories of my times

with this family both as a child, teen and adult.

One of my best memories that meant nothing to me

until I was a married person,

each Friday night, she and Mr. Charles went on date night.

Most times it was just a night to eat out, both

of them loving Chinese. Sometimes they would 

bring a small amount back, left overs, that

was never enough to feed the brood that

awaited their return, but they always brought something back.

When we were teens, I remember not really liking this

"date night" thing as the older siblings were responsible

for the younger kiddo's, Peter John and Hollie.

I, being the baby of my family,

had a hard time understanding to hierarchy

of being one of the older children.

I only saw it as a delay in our own time out.

Today, I always think of how special this was in those times.

to put that type of work in their relationship.

Another one of my memories of Mrs. Geri that stays

in my mind, in our Senior year, getting ready for graduation,

Mrs. Geri asked me to go shopping with she and Ann 

as someone in her family, about my size was having a birthday

and she needed me to try on a few pj's and help her decided

which one would be best.

I loved shopping so I was all over that.

I tried on a few and fell in love with this jade green

tedi-type pj and she bought that one.

How surprised I was when a few weeks later, she handed

me a gift for graduation and there was the beautiful jade green 

pj, the very same one I had chosen.

So smart in her way of surprising me.

This was Mrs. Geri.

Her grandmother skills were impeccable.

I remember a few years ago, buying a cookbook that was

put together by a local chef. In there I found a recipe

added by Mrs. Geri, named each one after her grandchildren 

she had at the time.

She was a tough woman, always told you how she felt about

a particular situation. Its no surprise that all her family

is already feeling the loss of this special woman.

When she began this fight with the big C,

there were times I wanted to visit but she was just not up to it.

A few weeks ago, when I went down for Ange's reveal party,

I once again wanted to try and visit,

Ann was staying with her and said she had been sleeping most of

the last days so she was not sure if it would be a good day for visits.

Yet, a few years later, Ann texted that not only was her Mom

awake and not in much pain but was sitting in her chair

and looking forward to my visit.

I went in and there she was, looking so peaceful.

sitting in her recliner. I went to her and kissed and hugged and

her words to me when I asked how her day was going,

"It just got a lot better with your visit"

This was her, always putting others first.

Today, she has moved on to the next phase of this thing of life,

her family definitely feeling the loss already.

Yet, although I am sad, I picture her love, Mr. Charles

awaiting her.

Tomorrow is Friday, I imagine their first date night in Heaven 

being a grand one.

Rest, my dear one, no more suffering, we will forever

miss you and your spirit, the things you have taught me.

To her children, grandchildren, 

She will forever be with you, part of the heart that beats inside of you all.

7 years and one day!

 

I am up early this morning,

Not only because its Mass day at St. John school,

not only because it is Mumsie Day

but my sweet Bean is 7 and a day!!!!

Yesterday was her actual birthday and I still

can't believe 7 years have passed that this child has been

in our lives. 

She is smart, cute, funny, sassy (in a good way)

and very loving to her sisters and family.

Saturday was her sleepover party and

it was fun watching her interact with her peers

as I taught them a scrap lesson.

It was a great day to celebrate her.

Seven years ago, I had just got over a back surgery

and I spent much time rocking her, playing,

watching in awe as she grew so fast.

She came to me at a very dark time in my life

and was the light that got me through lots

of challenging things.

For that, I believe we shall always have 

a special bond.

Love you Bean!

So glad you are ours!

TEEN PREGNANCY AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE TEENS

A few weeks ago, we found out that my dear great niece,

Angelique, know as Ange' to us was pregnant.

Being a senior in high school,

well lets just say this is not the perfect time for her.

She and her sweet boyfriend, Sage were 

unexpectedly freaked out in the beginning.

They had goals, dreams for what they wanted to do

after graduation. 

They were both scared and even shocked.

It took them weeks to realize this was their future.

I am proud of the way they are handling this news.

Ange' telling me she will be the very best Mother she 

can. I have no doubt that she will,

as I can tell from communicating with her that she

is already in love with this child growing inside her.

Sage, having had a similar childhood as Ange'

is already making changes to ready them for this child.

(baby Ange')

One of Ange's biggest worries was that she had let so many

people down, she was disappointed in herself.

I shared with her, that yes, it would not be easy

and we can all think of the "should have, could have"

but all those worries are to be put behind as now

the child is here and she now has to focus on that.

I also shared with her one of my Motto's I have

used with others who have found themselves with an

unexpected pregnancy.

"All babies are miracles and they all come to us to teach

us something"

 Since then I try and send her words of encouragement

as I know she is afraid for many reasons.

Yet each day that passes I see her change from fear

to excitement. She is going to be a Mother...

I love this child, as I love all my great nieces and nephews

and I also believe her Hard life will have her trying 

to give the best she can to this baby.

 My reason for blogging this story, with Ange's permission

is last night I was watching on DVR, THE VOICE.

One of the young men interviewed spoke of his Mother,

"My Mom had me at 18 and raised me single handled.

It was always her and I and she always put me first 

sometimes working three jobs so I could have

what I needed.

so today I pray that I do well for her as I know it was

not easy for her but I love her for changing her

life to put me first."

I thought of Ange' and Sage right away.

Yes, they are young but I have no doubt,

whether they stay together as a couple or not, they both

will do all they need to do to put their sweet baby first.

My dear Ange' you have not disappointed me,

shocked, yes, disappointed, no.

This is your life, You and this baby and Sage's.

Put this sweet baby first always but don't put your

goals on the back burner as your goals

will change futures,

making your life and the life of this sweet child better.

So many have congratulated you, made comment like

"Oh, how cool" but the fact is, this will not be easy,

I know you understand that.

So enjoy the months you get to carry this child within

your body. Don't rush is, enjoy it as

once the baby comes, you will forever wear your

"heart on your sleeve"

I cannot wait when you first feel that flutter in your belly.

A feeling like when you are coming down on a ferris wheel.

One thing I know for sure, this baby will be loved.

and Love is sometime the most important thing you

can give a child. 

Throughout this journey there will be those who

say they want to help but when it get complicated

they will back out. You can never back out.

This baby will always be the first in your life.

However, there is much truth to the statement

"It takes a village to raise a child"

I am and always have been in your village, sweet one.

Don't forget the ones who have been there for

you your whole life not just now that you are with-child.

Of course I worry for your health and the health of this child.

I would support you in whatever decision you would have made

aside from abortion, but you and Sage, I believe, never

even thought that you two would not be the parents 

of this baby.

I repeat again, this is not a doll, it will be hard but

your heart will burst with love in a way you never imagined possible.

 Go forth, and show the world

how a teen Mom becomes the very best Mom she can be.

Who knows you may be carrying the future President of the US,

Or another just as important life. 

I love you my dear, Ange!