ATTITUDE AND GRADITUDE

 I love a good podcast especially if it is an interview.

It makes sense that I was drawn to an interview of an 105 year old woman.

The interviewer finds her in an airport looking not a day over 85.

She is beautiful in the only way an older mature woman can be.

It is obvious that she has become one with the

person she sees in the mirror.

He speaks to her about medical issues.

She has some, she admits but she explains how 

she becomes friends with her pain, her illnesses 

saying once she does this it just doesn't bother her anymore.

He then asks her the secret to living a long life,

is it exercise, eating healthy, etc.?

she boldly states:

"ATTITUDE AND GRATITUDE, ATTITUDE AND GRATITUDE.

She says it a few times getting her point across.

Awwwwe yeah!

I want to do that...

I want to have an open mind in all situations,

trying to find the good in all.

I want to have a positive attitude even when

I am tired or aggravated.

I want to be a good listener, even when an opinion may be opposite mine.

I want to have gratitude not just for the big things in life

but also for the little things,

the small gestures people afford me.

I want to be the person who gives grace to a situation

even when I am not feeling very graceful.

Allow my elders to go before me at checkout lines,

smile, be kind even when someone is being ugly.

My favorite advice to couples getting married:

"When you are wrong, admit it, when you are right, shut up"

I want to strive to follow my own words of advice.

A few weeks ago I made a mistake, it was not on purpose

and was done out of grief.

When I was approached about it, I felt terrible.

Although It was not done on purpose

 I knew then, it was wrong.

I remembered a step from the Alanon book:

MAKE AMENDS WHENEVER POSSIBLE EXCEPT

WHEN TO DO SO WOULD INJURE THEM OR OTHERS.

I apologized and did what I felt I had to do to correct the wrong.

I then had to give myself grace.

Even at the age of 61, I make mistakes, we all will

but  I can follow this wise old woman's advice

ATTITUDE AND GRATITUDE

and strive to the best little old lady I can grow up to be.

I WILL ROCK YOU....

I knew it would happen, even with all the promises she made...

I knew that the day would come when Jilly would become a 

teenager and have so many plans that I would not be a priority.

Still, I was not prepared fully for it.

When she calls and has a free night and wants to come sleep, it is happening.

I miss the little girl who called to come sleep all the time

when family outweighed friends and practices, etc.

"Mumsie, how long will you rock me?"

Her little two year old self asked years ago.

"I will rock you as long as you let me,

I will rock you until your feet drag the ground,

I will rock you on the day you get married,

and I will rock you when my old body becomes timid

and your much stronger"

Because now, she has a life surrounded by people and friends,

she does not come sleep as often as she once did.

Rarely do we read in bed together and rarely

do we play 'foosh' (pillow fight). 

However, this morning as she awakened early to go to practice

she hopped in my lap and I rocked her.

Her body has grown to that of a teenager almost as tall as me

yet she still fits in my lap.

Its a great way to start a Saturday....

I will rock you, Jilly Bean for as long as I can.

50 YEARS OF SNL

 SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

has been with us for fifty years!

I wonder if Lorn Michaels knew back then what a gem he had.

We can all probably remember a skit or twenty that we loved.

We can also argue about which was the best cast.

For me, SNL has followed me throughout periods of my life.

My first glimpse of it was as a very young girl,

staying up way past my bedtime as my older

sister prepared for their Saturday night ritual.

Usually it consisted of Chef Boyardi Pizza from a box.

My Daddy hated pizza and the smell of it 

so I didn't even know it existed until my teen sister

started making it on Saturday nights long after my Daddy was in bed.

SNL would come on and there was always a lot of laughing

and imitating. I didn't get the jokes back then but I am sure I laughed anyway.

Once I became a teenager, it became a part of my own Saturday night lineup.

We had Bill Murray, John Belushi, Gilda Radner...

some of them I didn't even know by these names but by their character names.

Hence, why my poor sister Roseanna started calling herself Rosie.

She was tired of everyone calling her Roseanna, Roseanna Danna.

When I did go out with friends on a Saturday night, 

it was usually not until I first saw who the musical guest would be.

Then I had my children.... 

and they began to watch SNL with me.

We had all their Nickelodeon shows...

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK, Clarrisa, etc.

We watched them all but we also knew that

when 10:30 came around, it was going to be

buttered crackers and Saturday Night Live.

My children grew up with their own cast, that soon became mine:

Will Ferrel, Chris Farley, Adam Sandler... so many great ones.

"A van down by the river" was said a lot back then.

I remember when Chris Farley died not only I but my children were sad.

They were now old enough to understand the lifestyle of a comedian

was not always filled with laughter.

Laying with my kiddo's on the sofa many Saturday nights

still remain some of my favorite memories.

Like all children, they grew up but often there would

be a memory shared or reenacted  from the skits they grew up watching.

Now it is the grandgirls turn. While they may not sit and watch

all of SNL, they watch clips of the new and old.

When JoJo came to the Cottage one day singing

Adam Sandlers, Lunch lady song I knew her Dad was showing them clips.

When I began to tell her about Sandler's Hanukkah song,

she must have watched the clip ten times to learn it and

surprise her Daddy that she knew it.

I no longer sit beside a television on Saturday nights

waiting for 10:30 to come around.

You can bet though, that I will have clips on my phone of this show,

new and old. 

Whenever I smell Chef Boyardi Pizza 

or hear one of the girls say

"In a Van down by the River" 

I am brought back to a place I love.... in my heart.

Happy Birthday, SNL

The Mom I never knew...

 

(Mom with my oldest siblings, Larry and Simone)

Who is this woman who I called Momma?

Who was she as this young Mother to my older siblings?

I was born to her when she was 43 years old, 

certainly not the same woman she was in these photos.

By my birth, she already had children in their 20's.

As a child, I never thought of her as a young Mother to her first babies.

Now I wonder, who was this beautiful woman looking into the camera?

I can now only go by stories told to me by others.

This photo has always been one of my favorites.

It was taken after my Momma lost her full term still born baby, Rebecca.

My brother Peter was only a few years old and 

had been planning for his baby sister who would be coming soon.

when she was found to be stillborn, my parents

wanted to make sure he understood what happened to her

so they layed her body  out in our family home.

I see this young Momma, recuperating from a delivery 

of a child she would not raise.

My brother is so happy to be with his Momma

but she seems so sad.

Her Bibles also laying beside her.

I did not know this woman in the photo, 

I did not ask her the questions I would love to ask now?

What was that pain like having to bury children?

Then there is this one, Momma lying in Grand Isle,

perhaps sleeping while her photographer husband snaps a photo,

The momma I was raised with never played on a beach 

like this with so much confidence.

By the time I was born, Momma and Dad didn't show much affection.

Yet the old photos tell a story of a different time.

A man who loved his wife and believed she was so beautiful 

that he snapped many photos of her.

I love that idea!

Although, in my lifetime they were not very affectionate

there were things my Dad did for her that always

made me feel warm inside, so happy.

Every morning, Every morning....

My Daddy served my Momma coffee in bed.

She worked the evening shift at Randolph's restaurant 

and he let her sleep in and always enjoy her cup of coffee in bed.

Sometimes she would get up and join him 

but most often she layed in her bed and read while she

enjoyed her cup of brew.

Daddy always got us ready for school and it was 

rare that she was out of bed before the bus passed 

unless she was working the AM shift.

Today, being Valentine's Day I also 

have memories of Dad always buying her a heart shaped

box filled with chocolates.

He didn't buy for us kids, only for the one he loved, 

his wife, my Momma.

I believe that a deceased person lives on 

as long as someone is speaking of them.

Have the conversations, tell the stories, write them down

and share with others.

I wish I had more of those conversations with my Momma

but she will live on for generations to come

because I have shared her here.

Cheers to growing up!

Two weeks ago I found myself eating at Nobile's in Lutcher.

I sell art there at Ferry Landing Two

(visit if you can so much talent there!)

I love people watching and as much as I  love to "vey yay"

(sit around and talk)

I love company but I also love my own company.

Nobile's was packed and I almost changed my mind.

It had been a hard few weeks so I decided to just take my time,

sit and enjoy the atmosphere.

I was seated at a little table right across from this little group of ladies.

It would have been just like me to go up to them

and strike up a conversation but on this day I decided to just observe.

To say this encounter had me looking forward to growing up would be right.

There sat these 5 ladies all dressed up, hair fixed, make up and jewelry applied.

I could not hear most of their conversations but they laughed... a lot.

I found myself being drawn to their laughter

wondering what wonderful stories they might be sharing.

Did they grow up together? Were they friends as new Mothers?

were they cousins?... so many questions.

A few people stopped to talk to them and one in particular

had them flirting in a way that only older women can get away with.

The waitress came to ask them if they were done, 

probably because the place was packed and they needed that big table.

NO, indeed they were not done.

"We waiting for our coffee to have our dessert"

Oh my!

No where to be and not in a hurry to get there.

Either the waitress was new or she had not served the golden girls before.

As I finished up my meal, taking my own dessert home,

they took out their calendars, some were paper, some were phones.

These sweet little ladies were planning their next months gathering.

From this I knew this was not a one time thing but 

something they did every month.

I want to grow up to be just like that.

All the time in the world to sit around with all those I love

and make the Vey yay, with no time to get anywhere.

I can picture the days when my besties are retired and

we can also plan monthly outings.

Yes growing old is not for the weak hearted

but watching these sweet ladies has me

looking forward to growing up.

 

Golden Meadow Mardi G

This foggy morning, let me talk 

GOLDEN MEADOW MARDI GRAS!

Oh how my Daddy loved Mardi Gras season as

the parades passed right in front of our house

so everyone would come out.

He would make his famous chili in the biggest pot we had

and all the cousins, aunts, uncles came to GM for Mardi Gras.

Momma used to say that so many came that 

she though most of them we didn't know.

The door was always opened at

113 Dursette Lane and everyone was invited.

The bathroom and the kitchen was opened to everyone.

As we became teenagers, all our friends knew

they were welcomed and the fun was after the 

parade sitting in the front of the lane and

watching all the people passing on Highway 1.

I remember when I was very little, watching

the older kids follow the parade on foot and on bikes.

I imagined the day I would be old enough to also follow the floats.

When I finally was old enough, I was not interested...

such is life.

I am not a big Mardi Gras fan anymore.

After Dad died, and the home parties stopped

it has just never been the same again.

When my kiddo's were young, i brought them to as many as they wanted.

Sometimes we traveled on vacation during Mardi Gras season.

One of my favorite memories of a trip to Disney

with Roddie and Jes was when we went to a Disney parade.

A gentleman next to us started a conversation with Roddie

about being from Louisiana, the home of Mardi Gras.

He asked Roddie,

"What is the difference between Louisiana Mardi Gras and Disney"

He politely answered:

"Over here they keep their clothes on"

Awe the mouths of babes.....

Enjoy Mardi Gras 2025.

 

STORIES ARE MEANT TO BE TOLD

If I could somehow tell my younger self something

and change the path of my 61 years of existence,

it would be

"Ask more questions, write down the answers and share with others"

Yesterday and my sister, Veronica and I sat down with stacks

of old photos we began to try and figure out a few things.

She is 16 years older than me so her memories of our life

and my memories are hardly the same.

Jesi was also here sharing photos and we began to ask

the questions:

"When did Dad go to photography school in Chicago?"

"Was it before he married Mom, before serving in WWII?"

We didn't know... we had not asked the questions and if these

things were known, we were not aware of it.

We continued to go through photos....

and my Daddy's own photos told the story we were trying to write.

This is what we found.

There was a very old photo with the writing behind it:

Chicago 1938.

He would have been 20 as he was born in 1918.

We know the photography school was 18 months and that 

photo had to have been taken right before he left Chicago

and came back home to Golden Meadow.

We also know Momma and Daddy eloped and Mom

was in 11th grade and quit school to marry Daddy.

When he returned he would have almost been 20 

which would mean Mom was between 17 and 18.

Our biggest question was, did he go into WWII already 

as a photographer...

then we found this beautiful and amazing photo in

a stash of very old ones...

My handsome Daddy in the war holding

his prized camera.

Although he did not have time to start his photography business

before he served in WWII, he had completed his courses.

He came back home from Chicago to marry my Momma,

have two children and then be in a War.

Now this story is written here for all those who have

come after us who may wonder.

Ask the questions, young ones.

Speak to your elders, listen to their stories document it.

When you are young you think none of this can be important,

what the older generations have to say.

One day you may be like me, loosing yet another 

family member and wonder what stories they took with them.

Thanks to all who have thought and prayed for us 

Collins Clan.