CHARLIE KIRK

 I HAVE NOT WROTE A BLOG IN A WHILE.

YET, THE LAST FEW DAYS HAS ME IN TURMOIL

OVER THE DEATH OF

CHARLIE KIRK.

IF YOU KNOW ME AND READ MY BLOG,

YOU KNOW I HAVE NO MALICIOUS INTENT

TO ANYONE, EVER.

WHERE MY WORDS TO THOSE CLOSE TO ME

ARE MOST OFTEN THOSE OF

"THERE IS GOOD AND BAD IN EVERYONE"

WHEN CONFRONTED WITH ONE VISION,

I TRY TO COME UP WITH ANOTHER SIDE TO THINK OF.

WHILE I HAVE MY DAUGHTER AND DIL 

WHO ARE BOTH GAY, IT IS HARD FOR ME TO 

THINK OF MY CHILD GOING TO BE EVERY NIGHT

WORRYING ABOUT THE STATE OF HER MARRIAGE.

MANY SAY IT WILL NOT HAPPEN, 

HOWEVER, JUST THE THOUGHT THAT THEY WOULD

LOOSE SLEEP OVER SUCH A THING DOESN'T SIT WELL WITH ME.

I ALSO HAVE A SON AND DIL,

WHO IN ALL THEIR TIME, THEY ARE JUST TRYING

TO GET THROUGH EVERY BUSY DAY THAT COMES 

FROM RAISING THREE GRANDGIRLS TO THE

BEST OF THEIR ABILITY.

WHAT REMAINS MOST IMPORTANT TO ME 

IS THE UNITY OF FAMILY,

THAT MY CHILDREN, WHETHER THEY SEE THINGS

THE SAME OR THEY DON'T THEY CAN

COME TO A CONSENSUS TO STILL CONTINUE TO 

LOVE AND RESPECT EACH OTHER FOR THEIR BELIEFS

IT IS MY MOTHERS WISH FOR THEM.

YESTERDAY I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR JOLEE'S 

QUESTION,

"MUMSIE, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT CHARLIE KIRK GETTING SHOT?"

OF COURSE THEY KNOW OF THIS,

THEY HAVE CELL PHONES, THEY HAVE INTERNET,

ITS THE ONLY THING OUT THERE.

I DIDN'T KNOW CHARLIE BEFORE THIS INCIDENT.

IN THE LAST THREE DAYS I HAVE LEARNED WHAT 

OTHERS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT HIM, GOOD AND BAD.

MY THOUGHTS EVERY DAY SINCE HAS BEEN THAT

OF HE, HIS FAMILY AND THE FATE OF OUR COUNTRY.

IS IT REALLY A PENDULUM, SWINGING BACK AND FORTH?

WAS IT THIS BAD DURING VIETNAM AND THE JFK ERA?

WHAT WOULD HAVE THE 60'S BEEN LIKE HAD

THERE BEEN INTERNET, ETC.?

I AM ALSO KNOWN TO NOT HAVE A LEGIT TV IN MY HOME.

THE NEWS OF THE WORLD FRIGHTENS ME AND I FIND MYSELF

ON THE ONE HAND GLAD THAT I AM IN MY LAST QUARTER OF LIFE

AND WON'T HAVE TO SEE WHAT BECOMES OF THIS EARTH

AND COMPLETE FEAR OVER WHAT WILL BE FOR

MY FAMILY IN THE FUTURE.

I WEAR "ROSE COLORED GLASSES"

I AM TOLD AND PERHAPS IT IS TRUE.

THINGS THAT KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT HAVE TO BE SPOKEN ABOUT.

THIS DEATH IS MORE THAN JUST ONE MAN BEING SHOT.

IT IS ABOUT MOVEMENTS IN THE WORLD,

CAN THE DEATH OF ONE MAN SWING THE PENDULUM

TO WHERE WE CAN LIVE IN A COUNTRY THAT 

DOES NOT JUDGE OTHERS FOR THEIR BELIEFS?

PERHAPS NOT IDK, BUT FOR ME,

KEEPING IT CLOSE TO HOME, I TELL MY DAUGHTER AND DIL,

I AM VERY THANKFUL THAT IN THIS COTTAGE,

WE CAN AGREE TO DISAGREE AND NOT LOVE EACH 

OTHER LESS BECAUSE OF IT.

I TELL MY LITTLE GRANDGIRLS,

NO ONE DESERVES TO DIE FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN.

"THAT THERE IS GOOD AND BAD IN EVERYONE

AND SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO LOOK FOR THE GOOD".

IN A WORLD WHERE YOU HAVE TO QUESTION EVERYTHING,

WHETHER IT IS REAL OR AI, THERE ARE LITTLE PEOPLE

BELIEVING WHAT THEY SEE ON THEIR PHONES.

I AM VERY THANKFUL THAT WHEN THE GRANDGIRLS

WERE VERY LITTLE I MADE THE COTTAGE RULE

OF NO INTERNET, NO TV, WE WILL DO THINGS,

ENJOY EACH OTHERS COMPANY.

OF COURSE, AS THEY GET OLDER THE RULES HAVE 

CHANGED SOME, BUT YESTERDAY NOT

JOLEE OR JEMMA BROUGHT A PHONE OR A TABLET.

WE SAT AROUND TALKED ABOUT BALANCING SCALES

AND PLAYED GAMES.

FOR THAT SHORT WHILE MY MIND WAS OFF OF THE

NEWS OF TODAY AS IT WAS FOR THEM.

MAY THIS COUNTRY FEEL THE MOVEMENT OF 

OF LESSENING OUR SOCIAL MEDIA.

LET MEALS BE PHONE FREE, WHETHER IN YOUR HOME OR

A RESTARAUNT.

SPEAK TO THE PEOPLE AT THE TABLE.

I AM ALSO QUILTY OF TOO MUCH SOCIAL MEDIA 

WHILE IN MY HEART, I KNOW TOO MUCH OF THIS 

IS NOT GOOD, I HAVE YET TO BREAK MY OWN CYCLE

OF GETTING UP AND FIRST CHECKING MY PHONE.

I KNOW, ITS A VERY RANDOM AND ALL OVER THE PLACE BLOG

BUT ITS WHERE MY HEAD HAS BEEN SINCE 9/10.

I HOPE THAT IN PUTTING DOWN SOME OF MY THOUGHTS

I CAN FIND A PLACE FOR IT ALL IN MY WORLD.

WHETHER WE AGREE OR AGREE TO DISAGREE WITH THE 

BELIEFS OF CHARLEY KIRK,

HE WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED AS A MARTYR.

" A PERSON WHO IS KILLED BECAUSE OF HIS RELIGIOUS

OR OTHER BELIEFS"

HE WILL GO DOWN WITH OTHERS WHO STOOD UP FOR

WHAT THEY BELIEVED IN,

ABRAHAM LINCOLN, JFK, MARTIN LUTHER KING

AND A HOST OF OTHERS.

MAY HIS FAMILY FIND PEACE AND MAY OUR 

WORLD ALSO FIND THE SAME PEACE.

THE LOVE RUB

 A FEW DAYS AGO I WATCHED A REEL

THAT SHOWED THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW 

BY SMELL IF YOU GREW UP IN THE 70'S.

I WENT DOWN A NOSTALGIC RABBIT HOLE...

"BOX OF CRAYOLA CRAYONS"

"A DITTO COPY TEST"

THERE WERE MANY OTHERS BUT THE ONE THAT

JUST THE THOUGHT OF IT, GOT ME ALL UP IN MY FEELS WAS

"VICKS VAPOR RUB"

AWWWWEEE YEAH! 

THAT WONDERFUL MINTY SMELL OF LOVE...

MY PARENTS, ESPECIALLY MY MOM

BELIEVED IN THAT VICKS.

IT WAS GOING IN THE VAPORIZER 

AND ON YOUR CHEST....

IT WAS GOING ON THE SOLES OF YOUR FEET

WITH SOCKS ON TOP TO HOLD IN THE BURN...

IT SEEMED TO BE MAGIC TO ME BACK THEN.

THEN I HAD MY OWN CHILDREN

AND THE NAME WENT FROM VICKS VAPOR RUB

TO "LOVE RUB"

BOTH MY KIDDO'S DIDN'T LIKE LOTIONS AND SUCH.

YET, WHEN THEY WOULD BECOME ILL

THEY NEVER SAID NO TO THE BLUE BOTTLE 

I PULLED OUT OF THE MEDICINE CABINET.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE NOSTALGIC

THAN HAVING YOUR MOMMA RUB THIS THICK GEL

ONTO YOUR BODY.

I HONESTLY NOW BELIEVE IT WAS NOT FOR 

THE MEDICINAL CAPABILITIES IT HELD 

BUT FOR THE TLC IT PROVIDED FOR A SICK CHILD.

I KNOW WHEN MY OWN MOMMA OR DADDY 

APPLIED IT TO MY CHEST OR FEET,

THE LOVING FEELING LAST LONGER THAN THE 

ICY FEELING YOUR SKIN FELT.

SCIENTISTS WHO STUDY THIS MEMORY CALL IT THE

PROUST EFFECT:

THE PHENOMENON WHERE SPECIFIC SMELLS

TRIGGER DETAILED AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL MEMORIES.

IF I HAD A BOTTLE OF VICKS IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW

I COULD CLOSE MY EYES AND BE BROUGHT BACK 

TO MY CHILDHOOD FROM JUST ONE SNIFF.

WITH THAT BEING SAID, 

I WOULD ALSO BE BROUGHT BACK TO A TIME

WHEN I WAS CALLED MOMMA BY MY CHILDREN

AND THAT FAMOUS BLUE BOTTLE WOULD 

ONCE AGAIN BE USED

TO RUB SOME LOVE INTO MY CHILD'S BODY.

ALWAYS RUBBED IN EXTRA CARE,

SEALED IN THE BOTTOM OF THE FEET WITH A PAIR OF SOCKS.

MAYBE THIS WAS DONE TO KEEP THE VAPORUB WORKING LONGER

BUT I LIKE TO BELIEVE IT WAS TO SEAL THE LOVE

INTO THE HEART, FOR THE LOVE TO BE BROUGHT BACK

BY JUST A SIMPLE SMELL FROM A BLUE BOTTLE 

CALLED VICKS VAPOR RUB.

MARY POPPINS, JR.

 For the past 7 months Iberville Theater,

which is also a part of WE ARE THE DIFFERENCE,

has worked on putting on a child's theater play,

MARY POPPINS, JR.

Rhonda, our director and Alicia, music director 

and myself have worked tirelessly with these children.

Some came to us, never having been in any theater performance before.

Others came with some experience.

It was a big cast and getting all players to a 

twice a week practice all together was almost impossible.

Rhonda worked tirelessly on schedules to try and

incorporate the schedules of very busy children and parents.

I honestly don't know how she does it all.

It is finally time for the performance.

Practice on stage began Wednesday night with 

dress rehearsal....

We were all a bit worried.

As I said, some of these children have never performed on stage.

It was also the adults first time to work out the kinks

for stage presence. 

Thursday, there was a 4 hour practice, now microphones were added.

these children, all rallied around the concept of learning

what they had to do.

Friday night..... well, they did it!

These children pulled off a performance that blew us out of the park.

As I stood in the audience to watch in case they became stuck,

I had a moment where I felt like I could cry...

To watch one child who stuttered get on that stage

and belt out his part with so much confidence and not one missed word,

the little ones, performing their little hearts out...

I could go on and on about how good theater is for children.

Although I am a helper, my work in this play was nothing

compared to what Rhonda and Alicia have done with these children.

Each child has become so important to us, 

 we have bonded with each one of them.

They will all be missed by me for sure.

Of course, I would not be called Mumsie

if I didn't brag about my own grand girl.

When she was cast as Mary Poppins she understood 

what a big deal this was going to be.

To watch her on stage, without one ounce of nervousness,

having found "her thing" 

well it was just enough to make us all so very proud of her.

Theater is so good for children and its sad

that there are not many theater groups in schools anymore.

for our Jemma Jew, she transforms on stage.

A big shout out to all of you who came to watch

Mary Poppins, the support is so necessary!

ATTITUDE AND GRADITUDE

 I love a good podcast especially if it is an interview.

It makes sense that I was drawn to an interview of an 105 year old woman.

The interviewer finds her in an airport looking not a day over 85.

She is beautiful in the only way an older mature woman can be.

It is obvious that she has become one with the

person she sees in the mirror.

He speaks to her about medical issues.

She has some, she admits but she explains how 

she becomes friends with her pain, her illnesses 

saying once she does this it just doesn't bother her anymore.

He then asks her the secret to living a long life,

is it exercise, eating healthy, etc.?

she boldly states:

"ATTITUDE AND GRATITUDE, ATTITUDE AND GRATITUDE.

She says it a few times getting her point across.

Awwwwe yeah!

I want to do that...

I want to have an open mind in all situations,

trying to find the good in all.

I want to have a positive attitude even when

I am tired or aggravated.

I want to be a good listener, even when an opinion may be opposite mine.

I want to have gratitude not just for the big things in life

but also for the little things,

the small gestures people afford me.

I want to be the person who gives grace to a situation

even when I am not feeling very graceful.

Allow my elders to go before me at checkout lines,

smile, be kind even when someone is being ugly.

My favorite advice to couples getting married:

"When you are wrong, admit it, when you are right, shut up"

I want to strive to follow my own words of advice.

A few weeks ago I made a mistake, it was not on purpose

and was done out of grief.

When I was approached about it, I felt terrible.

Although It was not done on purpose

 I knew then, it was wrong.

I remembered a step from the Alanon book:

MAKE AMENDS WHENEVER POSSIBLE EXCEPT

WHEN TO DO SO WOULD INJURE THEM OR OTHERS.

I apologized and did what I felt I had to do to correct the wrong.

I then had to give myself grace.

Even at the age of 61, I make mistakes, we all will

but  I can follow this wise old woman's advice

ATTITUDE AND GRATITUDE

and strive to the best little old lady I can grow up to be.

I WILL ROCK YOU....

I knew it would happen, even with all the promises she made...

I knew that the day would come when Jilly would become a 

teenager and have so many plans that I would not be a priority.

Still, I was not prepared fully for it.

When she calls and has a free night and wants to come sleep, it is happening.

I miss the little girl who called to come sleep all the time

when family outweighed friends and practices, etc.

"Mumsie, how long will you rock me?"

Her little two year old self asked years ago.

"I will rock you as long as you let me,

I will rock you until your feet drag the ground,

I will rock you on the day you get married,

and I will rock you when my old body becomes timid

and your much stronger"

Because now, she has a life surrounded by people and friends,

she does not come sleep as often as she once did.

Rarely do we read in bed together and rarely

do we play 'foosh' (pillow fight). 

However, this morning as she awakened early to go to practice

she hopped in my lap and I rocked her.

Her body has grown to that of a teenager almost as tall as me

yet she still fits in my lap.

Its a great way to start a Saturday....

I will rock you, Jilly Bean for as long as I can.

50 YEARS OF SNL

 SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

has been with us for fifty years!

I wonder if Lorn Michaels knew back then what a gem he had.

We can all probably remember a skit or twenty that we loved.

We can also argue about which was the best cast.

For me, SNL has followed me throughout periods of my life.

My first glimpse of it was as a very young girl,

staying up way past my bedtime as my older

sister prepared for their Saturday night ritual.

Usually it consisted of Chef Boyardi Pizza from a box.

My Daddy hated pizza and the smell of it 

so I didn't even know it existed until my teen sister

started making it on Saturday nights long after my Daddy was in bed.

SNL would come on and there was always a lot of laughing

and imitating. I didn't get the jokes back then but I am sure I laughed anyway.

Once I became a teenager, it became a part of my own Saturday night lineup.

We had Bill Murray, John Belushi, Gilda Radner...

some of them I didn't even know by these names but by their character names.

Hence, why my poor sister Roseanna started calling herself Rosie.

She was tired of everyone calling her Roseanna, Roseanna Danna.

When I did go out with friends on a Saturday night, 

it was usually not until I first saw who the musical guest would be.

Then I had my children.... 

and they began to watch SNL with me.

We had all their Nickelodeon shows...

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK, Clarrisa, etc.

We watched them all but we also knew that

when 10:30 came around, it was going to be

buttered crackers and Saturday Night Live.

My children grew up with their own cast, that soon became mine:

Will Ferrel, Chris Farley, Adam Sandler... so many great ones.

"A van down by the river" was said a lot back then.

I remember when Chris Farley died not only I but my children were sad.

They were now old enough to understand the lifestyle of a comedian

was not always filled with laughter.

Laying with my kiddo's on the sofa many Saturday nights

still remain some of my favorite memories.

Like all children, they grew up but often there would

be a memory shared or reenacted  from the skits they grew up watching.

Now it is the grandgirls turn. While they may not sit and watch

all of SNL, they watch clips of the new and old.

When JoJo came to the Cottage one day singing

Adam Sandlers, Lunch lady song I knew her Dad was showing them clips.

When I began to tell her about Sandler's Hanukkah song,

she must have watched the clip ten times to learn it and

surprise her Daddy that she knew it.

I no longer sit beside a television on Saturday nights

waiting for 10:30 to come around.

You can bet though, that I will have clips on my phone of this show,

new and old. 

Whenever I smell Chef Boyardi Pizza 

or hear one of the girls say

"In a Van down by the River" 

I am brought back to a place I love.... in my heart.

Happy Birthday, SNL

The Mom I never knew...

 

(Mom with my oldest siblings, Larry and Simone)

Who is this woman who I called Momma?

Who was she as this young Mother to my older siblings?

I was born to her when she was 43 years old, 

certainly not the same woman she was in these photos.

By my birth, she already had children in their 20's.

As a child, I never thought of her as a young Mother to her first babies.

Now I wonder, who was this beautiful woman looking into the camera?

I can now only go by stories told to me by others.

This photo has always been one of my favorites.

It was taken after my Momma lost her full term still born baby, Rebecca.

My brother Peter was only a few years old and 

had been planning for his baby sister who would be coming soon.

when she was found to be stillborn, my parents

wanted to make sure he understood what happened to her

so they layed her body  out in our family home.

I see this young Momma, recuperating from a delivery 

of a child she would not raise.

My brother is so happy to be with his Momma

but she seems so sad.

Her Bibles also laying beside her.

I did not know this woman in the photo, 

I did not ask her the questions I would love to ask now?

What was that pain like having to bury children?

Then there is this one, Momma lying in Grand Isle,

perhaps sleeping while her photographer husband snaps a photo,

The momma I was raised with never played on a beach 

like this with so much confidence.

By the time I was born, Momma and Dad didn't show much affection.

Yet the old photos tell a story of a different time.

A man who loved his wife and believed she was so beautiful 

that he snapped many photos of her.

I love that idea!

Although, in my lifetime they were not very affectionate

there were things my Dad did for her that always

made me feel warm inside, so happy.

Every morning, Every morning....

My Daddy served my Momma coffee in bed.

She worked the evening shift at Randolph's restaurant 

and he let her sleep in and always enjoy her cup of coffee in bed.

Sometimes she would get up and join him 

but most often she layed in her bed and read while she

enjoyed her cup of brew.

Daddy always got us ready for school and it was 

rare that she was out of bed before the bus passed 

unless she was working the AM shift.

Today, being Valentine's Day I also 

have memories of Dad always buying her a heart shaped

box filled with chocolates.

He didn't buy for us kids, only for the one he loved, 

his wife, my Momma.

I believe that a deceased person lives on 

as long as someone is speaking of them.

Have the conversations, tell the stories, write them down

and share with others.

I wish I had more of those conversations with my Momma

but she will live on for generations to come

because I have shared her here.