BABY BOY...

On this day, thirty two years ago,

at this time of the morning, I had begun

early labor and knew that this day

would be my first baby's first birthday.

I had awakened at 4 Am knowing this

discomfort was the real thing.

I didn't awaken his Dad, I wanted to be up

and spend a few hours with myself because

after that morning, life as I knew it would be changed.

I was right, of course, but I had no clue just

how much.

I decided it was time for the hospital at about noon

and the Baby boy was born at 3:45pm after

a very quick and easy labor.

On that day, I began wearing my "heart on my sleeve".

He was beautiful and perfect in every way.

It took me days to realize he was ours and

I would get to take him home and keep him.

I was excited and scared at the same time.

Although I had many young nieces and nephews

and knew lots about babies, this one,

I knew would teach me lots and that he did.

He taught me that a sleeping baby is one

you don't mess with.

He taught me that a smile could change

the outlook of a day, a week, a year.

He taught me that I would now view world problem

with him in my mind.

He taught me this and so much more in the span of days.

I remember the day he first smiled at me with 

recognition, a real smile, not one of the gassy ones

of before. 

I was standing at the sink of our mobile home,

holding him and trying to wash a few dishes at the same time.

I probably was humming or singing when I realized

he was staring into my face.

I looked down to see this beautiful child give me

the biggest, toothless, cheesy grin.

My knees became a little week and

I had to sit down at the beauty of it.

On this morning, I can see BB reading this and

rolling his eyes thinking "She is so dramatic"

yet the feelings surrounding that first smile has

carried me through lots.

I am so very proud of this child.

At the young age of 32

he has over 10 years with Chevron,

he and his Kd have a home they planned themselves,

three beautiful little girls who adore them,

a hard working young man who likes doing for others.

He loves hunting fishing, anything in the "outside"

Nothing melts me more than watching him interact

with his little ones, A hands on Dad, makes me proud

to be his Momma.

Happy Birthday, my first born, my only son,

Know that in a world that sometimes seems

unfair or complicated, I always, always

stand in your corner, cheering you on.

"My life, would suck without you in it"

54????? IT CANNOT BE!

Today, 54 years ago today, I was born....

hard to believe...the body says it is true, the mind, the heart?

Well it has a completely different conception.

WAAYYYYY back on this day in 1963, I was born to

older parents, Freddie Collins, 45 years old and

Minta Collins, 43. Who in the heck has babies at that age?

Yet I was far from their first, the baby of 7 other children,

11 pregnancies. My sister, C was only two years older than me

so its not like I was that big of a surprise,

The surprise to me as an adult, my oldest sister, Simone

Taunt Mone to most, is 24 years older than me.

I was showered and spoiled to the brim with love and

attention. If being born the baby and the last were not enough,

to have found out I had an incurable cancer at 5 

only added to the attention.

I remember lots from those days, probably more

than most 5 year old should.

I must have been a firecracker even way back then

because no incurable cancer could take my life.

Yet, in a way it did.

It took my 5 year old frail, quiet life

and made me a vocal little spitfire full of

quirkiness. Even at a young age as that

I knew I was one of the lucky ones.

Today, still I see people passing and suffering

from the dreaded C and while my heart cries

for them all, I know I was spared for a reason.

I am loud and vocal, opinionated but kind.

I dance in the aisles, sing whether there is music or not.

I was blessed to have two children when I was told there would be

none and put all I had into being their Mom.

I was far from perfect, still am, but every EVERY 

decision I ever made while Mothering them was

with their best interest in my heart.

When I found my 30 year marriage coming to an end

I knew it would not be the end of me.

I mean in no way to say anything negative to my 

ex, he was financially, the one who made it possible

to be the Momma I wanted to be.

We have both found our way to a happier life.

I never thought at 54 I could find my way to be

 a person I like most always.

Yes, the treatment that saved my life back in 1968 

plays havoc on my body, in no way am I bitter as

the ultimatum would have been death.

I am now a person whom I like and love most days.

I am a person who wants and hopes I bring joy to 

those lives I touch. It is my calling, it is why I have beat

the odds given to me so very long ago.

So to all who love me, call me Mom, sister, lover, friend,

Aunt,  Nannie, Mumsie, Lil, I say thank you on this fine

54th birthday

THANK YOU  for allowing me to be part of your lives

and I hope I have made some sort of difference in yours.

Every years since my kiddo's are young and asked me,

"Mommy what do you want for your birthday, xmas, etc..."

The answer has always been a love letter.

There is nothing in this life I need materialistic,

well the lottery would be nice, but that is a separate blog.

I want to know what I am to you in words in speech.

I don't want to hover over my funeral one day and hear the

thoughts and words of those I hold dear to my heart.

I will always want only to know I was important in your life.

Thanks to all who will or have wished me a 

Happy Birthday! 

All are appreciated and as the boo reminded me this morning,

"... all the bday wishes will be from people who

love and appreciate you. None are lagniappe!"

Could not have said it better.

Love to all!!!!

A NEW FLAMBOYANT FRIEND!

I have always loved meeting, speaking to flamboyant

men, always think they can become some of my best friends,

but usually when I meet such a lad, 

it is a quick encounter.

Such was the case one day last week when

I was between testing and had a little time to kill.

Where else to hang out than a booth rental flea market.

As I explore a corner I hear a loud voice,

"Girl, IT BE DARK IN THIS THERE CORNER TODAY!"

"Yep" I answer.

He then grabs a pair of used Oxfords, bright yellow in color:

"GURL, THESE BE FINE WITH THE SUIT I HAVE TO WEAR!"

I've no doubt he does.

I show him another pair that are not quite as loud, that

can be worn on most days. They are an expensive shoe

with some wear to them. He slides them on,

"GUH, THESE SLIDE RIGHT ON MADE FOR ME,

they so comfy....

I'm going ask them to go down."

they are 30 and while they are worth it for that brand I 

understand from further conversation that my new friend

is without much extra money.

He comes find me in this huge place,

"Twenty fie, won't go down mo"

Darn I say to myself and to my new pal.

As I walk around, looking for deals, things to repurpose,

He and I keep running into each other, having 

different conversations each time.

I give him my business card because one, 

I can see us becoming friends and two,

he is interested in possible hiring me to do a few things

for him. Each conversation makes me feel closer to him

and has me thinking of those shoes and how I want him

to have the shoes that fit him so perfectly and how

I just collected 25 bucks from a scrap job I had done.

Finally, I hear this colorful man checking out

and I just cannot let him leave without those shoes.

I hurry to the dark corner where we met, where

our new-one day friendship began, and I grab

those shoes, run to the register, put the box on the counter

with the 25 dollars and I hug him and walk away....

I see his shock, tears in his eyes.

He does not say No, no sign of protest, just

shock and pure love in his eyes.

He allows me to be the giver of

a RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS

and I have the pure satisfaction of knowing

that those beautiful, wild shoes will walk the

streets of Bourbon Street with my flamboyant 

friends feet nestled in their comfort.