Tuesday, May 16, 2017

BELATED MOTHERS DAY THOUGHTS

My Mothers Day officially ended yesterday
evening, when gypsy and her girl Del, visited.
Over the last few days, I have thought much of
the holiday of Mothers Day.
Small, one day holidays are sometimes over rated 
to me, mostly because it can become stressful
trying to get all the people you think of when you 
say the word Mother, in a one day visit.
However, me and the boo... we did it,
we spent brunch at Cracker Barrel with his sweet
Momma, Mrs. Barbara along with his brother
and his family. Then to Kd's parents for lunch
with my baby boy, my KD and the grand girls.
Now my thoughts, Mother, something I, for 
many years, didn't think I would ever be able
to share with other Mothers.
Having been a childhood cancer survivor, told
I would never have children and to find out
nine months into a marriage that I was pregnant,
well, it was just a miracle to me.
Four years later, his sister came into my world 
and changed it forever.
They are my children, mine, and I adore them both
for who they are, for the way they are,
Yet, being their Mother is wild, they are so
different. I have Baby boy, who I see with his three
little girls and I could melt watching the love he
has for them. Just this same weekend he danced on
stage with the Bean for her recital and I beamed 
with pride for my child. 
He is overprotective of me in a quiet way,
always wanting to help me with household projects.
He, as I grow older will be my
"SUNNY-DO"
Last night, spending a few hours with my gypsy baby,
so different from her brother, being the 
first to say, "I am not a maternal person except for my dog"
"I know I am selfish" However, I want to say to her,
it's not selfish when you know what you want,
how you want to live your life and verbally state it.
So many feel this way and do not have the courage
to admit this, It is why I admire her so much!
One of the many ways. I know she will be 
"MY KEEPER" 
when the time comes that I need help medically, she
will be the one to care for me as she has had
to do over the years when I was ill.
No matter how old she is, We will always be comfortable,
laying in the same bed, reading, talking, etc.
She is the best daughter I could have had for me.
Then there is my daughter in law, my KD,
as I have always said about her
"I could not have hand picked a girl better for my son".
I will forever keep a medallion she gave me as a gift
a few years ago stating,
"THANK YOU FOR RAISING THE MAN OF OUR DREAMS"
It always makes me proud to be her Mother in law.
A few weeks ago, baby boy being at work,
Kd, coming home from a busy work day only 
to have to hurriedly get Bean ready for dance practice
while the other two were screaming for her attention.
Kd came out of the bathroom where she was dressing
bean and seem flustered, Bean not having been the nicest 
to her Mommy that day, I had Bean ride with me to
dance and I told her a few things, one being
"GEE, (I sometimes call her this)
 you have to realize their are three women in this
world who not only will always love and have your back
no matter what happens, but will love you 
unconditionally, always: Me, your Mumsie, Maw Maw Cathy,
and last but not least your dear Mother"
That night, I am laying in bed and I find this small writing,
and I send it to my DIL, as I feel its something she needed 
to hear that day:
MAMA,
YOU  WERE GIVEN THESE CHILDREN - YOU.
NO ONE ELSE.
YOU WERE GIVEN THESE CHILDREN BECAUSE
YOU ARE WHO THEY NEED.
YOU HAVE THE SOUL TO LOVE THEM
EVEN ON THEIR HARD DAYS.
YOU HAVE THE MOTIVATION AND LOVE
TO GIVE THESE CHILDREN EVERYTHING THEY NEED.
YOU HAVE THE HEART TO WAKE UP EVERY
MORNING AND TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN,
EVEN WHEN YOU ARE EXHAUSTED.
YOU HAVE THE SMILE THAT THEY CRAVE
AND THE TOUCH TO MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY.
YOU ARE THEIR SUNSHINE AND
THEIR COMFORT. 
YOU ARE THEIRS AND THEY ARE YOURS.
MOMMA.
ON THE DAYS YOU ARE QUESTIONING YOURSELF,
REMEMBER.....
YOU GOT THIS.
How beautiful? Have we, as Mothers not all had a
point in our Mothering that we needed to hear these
very same words? I know I have.
I have shared how being mother to my children has 
completed me as a woman. I find myself now finding
time to nurture my own new relationships and
home business and getting the moral support 
from my grown children. Their understanding
of where my life is right now is something
I have needed so much and I have not told them that.
Thank you, my babies, for understanding that
I have given you two all of me for the last 30 
something years and now I must be able to nurture
my next phase of life. It has not been easy these last 4 years
but we have stayed strong, and have come out on 
the other side still whole and loving each other.
Although you two will always be loved by me
unconditionally and that I will also always
be on your side of the ring, I now must
find my own life as a Mother to adult children,
giving myself some time to be a tad selfish so to 
have myself a life I can grow into as I become an
older woman. Thank You, my babies, for trying
your best to understand this.
Last but not least,
I remain with the pillow covered with the pillow case
that my own Mother laid her head on the last day she
was with us, I have yet to wash that case, don't see myself
ever washing it, Why not, you may ask?
Because, if, like I did on Mothers Day morning,
put my nose deeply into the folds of that pillow and
smell deeply, I can still smell her, and as it is with me,
a smell can take me back to places of when she was 
still here with me. I was blessed with the best Momma for me
and I pray that as the years pass, my babies, and their own
babies will think of me lovingly and admiringly
when they smell the scent of Clinique Aromatics body lotion,
and feel the warmth of the love of their own Mother.
HAPPY BELATED MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU MOMMY'S!
                                                                                                                                                                

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