A NEW FLAMBOYANT FRIEND!

I have always loved meeting, speaking to flamboyant

men, always think they can become some of my best friends,

but usually when I meet such a lad, 

it is a quick encounter.

Such was the case one day last week when

I was between testing and had a little time to kill.

Where else to hang out than a booth rental flea market.

As I explore a corner I hear a loud voice,

"Girl, IT BE DARK IN THIS THERE CORNER TODAY!"

"Yep" I answer.

He then grabs a pair of used Oxfords, bright yellow in color:

"GURL, THESE BE FINE WITH THE SUIT I HAVE TO WEAR!"

I've no doubt he does.

I show him another pair that are not quite as loud, that

can be worn on most days. They are an expensive shoe

with some wear to them. He slides them on,

"GUH, THESE SLIDE RIGHT ON MADE FOR ME,

they so comfy....

I'm going ask them to go down."

they are 30 and while they are worth it for that brand I 

understand from further conversation that my new friend

is without much extra money.

He comes find me in this huge place,

"Twenty fie, won't go down mo"

Darn I say to myself and to my new pal.

As I walk around, looking for deals, things to repurpose,

He and I keep running into each other, having 

different conversations each time.

I give him my business card because one, 

I can see us becoming friends and two,

he is interested in possible hiring me to do a few things

for him. Each conversation makes me feel closer to him

and has me thinking of those shoes and how I want him

to have the shoes that fit him so perfectly and how

I just collected 25 bucks from a scrap job I had done.

Finally, I hear this colorful man checking out

and I just cannot let him leave without those shoes.

I hurry to the dark corner where we met, where

our new-one day friendship began, and I grab

those shoes, run to the register, put the box on the counter

with the 25 dollars and I hug him and walk away....

I see his shock, tears in his eyes.

He does not say No, no sign of protest, just

shock and pure love in his eyes.

He allows me to be the giver of

a RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS

and I have the pure satisfaction of knowing

that those beautiful, wild shoes will walk the

streets of Bourbon Street with my flamboyant 

friends feet nestled in their comfort.

THE COTTAGE IS FOR ALL

A few days ago, a friend was having a rough time,

needed some time away from her daily life.

She was worried about coming to the Cottage would

interfere with The Boo or I's visits.

So I say here, a few things to all.

First, the Cottage belongs to me only on the Deed,

where my name is boldly printed,

LILLIAN COLLINS RIERA

yet it belongs to all, all those who call

me sister, aunt, Mom, Mumsie, friend, etc.

The Cottage, like a church, is just a structure without

people in it and enjoying it.

The Cottage brings me peace, joy, relaxation, creativity.

The Boo visits but his time here is limited due to work

and owning his own home. His visiting here

should never influence anyones choice to come here.

Whether you need a day or a night to refresh or

a week or month to "get away", 

whether I am at the Cottage or gone,

all are welcomed here, 

ALL ARE WELCOMED HERE.

It is only a structure without the people I love

surrounding it.

Another Fallen Classmate...

Just when I believe this blog will take a turn

to happier moments, another dear classmate and

friend has died.

Greg Terry.

He and I were not best buds but he was that

to two of my closest friends,

my cousin Reggie and my pal, Patrick.

Not many days passed in the highschool era that

Reggie, Greg and sometimes Patrick were not together.

As Reggie texted to me last night,

"...Not a day in Jr. high and high school was Greg and

I not together, like you and Laurie and Ann."

I remember that vividly, one day in particular.

I was driving around in my orange Pinto and

decided to go hang with the cuz,

Who was there, none other than Greg Terry.

We sat around and talked for hours probably about

everyone else in our class.

He was a kind man but over the years I have lost

touch with him yet his name came up lots in the

last year when I began to rekindle the friendships

between Patrick, Reggie and I.

We are not old yet, we are 53-give or take a year or two.

Yet when our parents were that age, we believed that was old.

Our classmates are too young to say goodbye to this life.

However, like the last few blogs I believe they are on

the journey of a lifetime, one all of us here on Earth cannot

understand and some of us fear.

RIP Greg and may all who love you know 

you, my dear have entered into the phase of

FOREVER LIFE.

Ironic

Ironic is what it is. 

If I ever needed confirmation that 

Blogging, sharing my thoughts was

Something I must do, I received that yesterday. 

Bestie Ann and I made it to the funeral

Of our dear friend and classmate Roxanne. 

We met Laurie there with her bestie babies. 

As I make it to the front of the church to

Pay my respects to the family many memories

Flood back. Roxanne in high school, 

Roxanne working with us at the hospital, 

Roxanne playing Pokeno with our group

For many years. I stop to speak and give hugs to 

Rox's parents and then her dear daughter, Who is

An adult now. She is so composed. So much like her Mother

In that way. I think she may not remember me 

From our Pokeno days when she was a little girl

So I remind her of who I am. 

She counters back with 

"Oh yeah, I remember you because of your blog. 

My Mom loved your blog and often shared from 

It or had me read it" 

Wow! I now know I don't do this just for me

But for those who may get something out of the

Things I write. 

I ask for permission to use her Mom and she says 

"Blog away, please!" 

So today I begin a routine once again involving 

Early mornings, a cup of coffee and 

A blog. 

Thanks Alyssa for showing me the way 

Random thoughts..

I have not blogged much lately,

not journaling much either,

I've lost the habit due to not doing them often enough.

So today, I know I have to get back to blogging.

I have had some unsettling days lately when it comes

to death. Young people, about my age dying.

Some from dreaded big C and

another unexpected and shocking.

I don't know why death is so unsettling 

for me right now.

Is it because you just never know when the

earthly life is over or am I too far from 

my faith? Let me share some of my thoughts here:

I know there is something else after this life, 

My faith is strong in that.

My fears are that I don't know the process

and I have big fears of the unknown,

it is most of our worst fear,

fear of the unknown.

At the funeral of a friend,

who passed unexpectedly, I am told by her father in law,

"It's just too fast, maybe after a long illness,

but this, you can't plan for this"

I think a lot about that since then.

Until my dear high school friend died after

battling cancer for over two years.

I visited with her last summer when hope was

still such a big part of her life.

She inspired me, sitting there so beautiful in 

her words, thin, showing off her wigs,

never giving up on the "next treatment"

Her last week, she suffered and her family could

do nothing but be with her and be her advocate.

So I now believe, whether you are taken unexpectedly 

or after a long illness, it is just not ever easy for

our Earthly beings.

I know both these friends, having lived their lives

for others, are no doubt going to a better place.

It is us, left behind to wonder, are made to 

struggle with their loss.

And for me? I continue to wonder what is after

this life. It is not meant to be known.

RIP Marie and Roxanne.

Tuts turns three

(Typed on phone excuse any typo's until

I can get home)

Our Tuts, our jojo turns three tomorrow. 

In some ways it seems like a lifetime ago

Since she was born, like she has been with

Us forever. Other times, like just yesterday 

When she came into our world. 

It is in her three years of life

That I, as a single woman has

Made the most changes in my life. 

I will always look upon her little life 

As being almost like a new birth 

For myself as well. 

Our Jojo/tuts is one of the funniest litttle

Sprites, like a little fairy

Who has come into our chaotic lives

To remind us to "slow down" 

Take a minute to smells the roses,

Sit down and watch her perform. 

I hope I always give her that time, 

When she decides to entertain us.

I will share one of our many Jojo-isms. 

She had show off day at dancing 

And while the other girls stood in a line and

Followed the teachers dance steps,

Jo walked back and forth from wall to wall

Singing her favorite Muhana song. 

Nothing was going to kill her party. 

A few days later she came to play 

And I took the opportunity to read 

To her the card/ love letter I had made her. 

Partly,

"I am so proud of how you sing when 

You want and dance when you want..." 

she stared right into my eyes, as serious 

As a three year old could be.....

I am thinking she is going to thank me

But no, not our jojo...

"I wish, I could be the perfect daughter,

But I come back to the water...."

I think she may be finished, no

A breath and then 

"Every step I take every move I make..."

Yes she sang the whole song...

And her Mumsie, well she melted 

" you our sweet jojo, you are more than the perfect 

Daughter. You are the most 

Grandest three year old I Know"

Happy birthday sweet jojo

BELATED MOTHERS DAY THOUGHTS

My Mothers Day officially ended yesterday

evening, when gypsy and her girl Del, visited.

Over the last few days, I have thought much of

the holiday of Mothers Day.

Small, one day holidays are sometimes over rated 

to me, mostly because it can become stressful

trying to get all the people you think of when you 

say the word Mother, in a one day visit.

However, me and the boo... we did it,

we spent brunch at Cracker Barrel with his sweet

Momma, Mrs. Barbara along with his brother

and his family. Then to Kd's parents for lunch

with my baby boy, my KD and the grand girls.

Now my thoughts, Mother, something I, for 

many years, didn't think I would ever be able

to share with other Mothers.

Having been a childhood cancer survivor, told

I would never have children and to find out

nine months into a marriage that I was pregnant,

well, it was just a miracle to me.

Four years later, his sister came into my world 

and changed it forever.

They are my children, mine, and I adore them both

for who they are, for the way they are,

Yet, being their Mother is wild, they are so

different. I have Baby boy, who I see with his three

little girls and I could melt watching the love he

has for them. Just this same weekend he danced on

stage with the Bean for her recital and I beamed 

with pride for my child. 

He is overprotective of me in a quiet way,

always wanting to help me with household projects.

He, as I grow older will be my

"SUNNY-DO"

Last night, spending a few hours with my gypsy baby,

so different from her brother, being the 

first to say, "I am not a maternal person except for my dog"

"I know I am selfish" However, I want to say to her,

it's not selfish when you know what you want,

how you want to live your life and verbally state it.

So many feel this way and do not have the courage

to admit this, It is why I admire her so much!

One of the many ways. I know she will be 

"MY KEEPER" 

when the time comes that I need help medically, she

will be the one to care for me as she has had

to do over the years when I was ill.

No matter how old she is, We will always be comfortable,

laying in the same bed, reading, talking, etc.

She is the best daughter I could have had for me.

Then there is my daughter in law, my KD,

as I have always said about her

"I could not have hand picked a girl better for my son".

I will forever keep a medallion she gave me as a gift

a few years ago stating,

"THANK YOU FOR RAISING THE MAN OF OUR DREAMS"

It always makes me proud to be her Mother in law.

A few weeks ago, baby boy being at work,

Kd, coming home from a busy work day only 

to have to hurriedly get Bean ready for dance practice

while the other two were screaming for her attention.

Kd came out of the bathroom where she was dressing

bean and seem flustered, Bean not having been the nicest 

to her Mommy that day, I had Bean ride with me to

dance and I told her a few things, one being

"GEE, (I sometimes call her this)

 you have to realize their are three women in this

world who not only will always love and have your back

no matter what happens, but will love you 

unconditionally, always: Me, your Mumsie, Maw Maw Cathy,

and last but not least your dear Mother"

That night, I am laying in bed and I find this small writing,

and I send it to my DIL, as I feel its something she needed 

to hear that day:

MAMA,

YOU  WERE GIVEN THESE CHILDREN - YOU.

NO ONE ELSE.

YOU WERE GIVEN THESE CHILDREN BECAUSE

YOU ARE WHO THEY NEED.

YOU HAVE THE SOUL TO LOVE THEM

EVEN ON THEIR HARD DAYS.

YOU HAVE THE MOTIVATION AND LOVE

TO GIVE THESE CHILDREN EVERYTHING THEY NEED.

YOU HAVE THE HEART TO WAKE UP EVERY

MORNING AND TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN,

EVEN WHEN YOU ARE EXHAUSTED.

YOU HAVE THE SMILE THAT THEY CRAVE

AND THE TOUCH TO MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY.

YOU ARE THEIR SUNSHINE AND

THEIR COMFORT. 

YOU ARE THEIRS AND THEY ARE YOURS.

MOMMA.

ON THE DAYS YOU ARE QUESTIONING YOURSELF,

REMEMBER.....

YOU GOT THIS.

How beautiful? Have we, as Mothers not all had a

point in our Mothering that we needed to hear these

very same words? I know I have.

I have shared how being mother to my children has 

completed me as a woman. I find myself now finding

time to nurture my own new relationships and

home business and getting the moral support 

from my grown children. Their understanding

of where my life is right now is something

I have needed so much and I have not told them that.

Thank you, my babies, for understanding that

I have given you two all of me for the last 30 

something years and now I must be able to nurture

my next phase of life. It has not been easy these last 4 years

but we have stayed strong, and have come out on 

the other side still whole and loving each other.

Although you two will always be loved by me

unconditionally and that I will also always

be on your side of the ring, I now must

find my own life as a Mother to adult children,

giving myself some time to be a tad selfish so to 

have myself a life I can grow into as I become an

older woman. Thank You, my babies, for trying

your best to understand this.

Last but not least,

I remain with the pillow covered with the pillow case

that my own Mother laid her head on the last day she

was with us, I have yet to wash that case, don't see myself

ever washing it, Why not, you may ask?

Because, if, like I did on Mothers Day morning,

put my nose deeply into the folds of that pillow and

smell deeply, I can still smell her, and as it is with me,

a smell can take me back to places of when she was 

still here with me. I was blessed with the best Momma for me

and I pray that as the years pass, my babies, and their own

babies will think of me lovingly and admiringly

when they smell the scent of Clinique Aromatics body lotion,

and feel the warmth of the love of their own Mother.

HAPPY BELATED MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU MOMMY'S!