Random thoughts..

I have not blogged much lately,

not journaling much either,

I've lost the habit due to not doing them often enough.

So today, I know I have to get back to blogging.

I have had some unsettling days lately when it comes

to death. Young people, about my age dying.

Some from dreaded big C and

another unexpected and shocking.

I don't know why death is so unsettling 

for me right now.

Is it because you just never know when the

earthly life is over or am I too far from 

my faith? Let me share some of my thoughts here:

I know there is something else after this life, 

My faith is strong in that.

My fears are that I don't know the process

and I have big fears of the unknown,

it is most of our worst fear,

fear of the unknown.

At the funeral of a friend,

who passed unexpectedly, I am told by her father in law,

"It's just too fast, maybe after a long illness,

but this, you can't plan for this"

I think a lot about that since then.

Until my dear high school friend died after

battling cancer for over two years.

I visited with her last summer when hope was

still such a big part of her life.

She inspired me, sitting there so beautiful in 

her words, thin, showing off her wigs,

never giving up on the "next treatment"

Her last week, she suffered and her family could

do nothing but be with her and be her advocate.

So I now believe, whether you are taken unexpectedly 

or after a long illness, it is just not ever easy for

our Earthly beings.

I know both these friends, having lived their lives

for others, are no doubt going to a better place.

It is us, left behind to wonder, are made to 

struggle with their loss.

And for me? I continue to wonder what is after

this life. It is not meant to be known.

RIP Marie and Roxanne.