Saturday, May 20, 2017

Tuts turns three

(Typed on phone excuse any typo's until
I can get home)
Our Tuts, our jojo turns three tomorrow. 
In some ways it seems like a lifetime ago
Since she was born, like she has been with
Us forever. Other times, like just yesterday 
When she came into our world. 
It is in her three years of life
That I, as a single woman has
Made the most changes in my life. 
I will always look upon her little life 
As being almost like a new birth 
For myself as well. 
Our Jojo/tuts is one of the funniest litttle
Sprites, like a little fairy
Who has come into our chaotic lives
To remind us to "slow down" 
Take a minute to smells the roses,
Sit down and watch her perform. 
I hope I always give her that time, 
When she decides to entertain us.
I will share one of our many Jojo-isms. 
She had show off day at dancing 
And while the other girls stood in a line and
Followed the teachers dance steps,
Jo walked back and forth from wall to wall
Singing her favorite Muhana song. 
Nothing was going to kill her party. 
A few days later she came to play 
And I took the opportunity to read 
To her the card/ love letter I had made her. 
Partly,
"I am so proud of how you sing when 
You want and dance when you want..." 
she stared right into my eyes, as serious 
As a three year old could be.....
I am thinking she is going to thank me
But no, not our jojo...
"I wish, I could be the perfect daughter,
But I come back to the water...."
I think she may be finished, no
A breath and then 
"Every step I take every move I make..."
Yes she sang the whole song...
And her Mumsie, well she melted 
" you our sweet jojo, you are more than the perfect 
Daughter. You are the most 
Grandest three year old I Know"
Happy birthday sweet jojo

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

BELATED MOTHERS DAY THOUGHTS

My Mothers Day officially ended yesterday
evening, when gypsy and her girl Del, visited.
Over the last few days, I have thought much of
the holiday of Mothers Day.
Small, one day holidays are sometimes over rated 
to me, mostly because it can become stressful
trying to get all the people you think of when you 
say the word Mother, in a one day visit.
However, me and the boo... we did it,
we spent brunch at Cracker Barrel with his sweet
Momma, Mrs. Barbara along with his brother
and his family. Then to Kd's parents for lunch
with my baby boy, my KD and the grand girls.
Now my thoughts, Mother, something I, for 
many years, didn't think I would ever be able
to share with other Mothers.
Having been a childhood cancer survivor, told
I would never have children and to find out
nine months into a marriage that I was pregnant,
well, it was just a miracle to me.
Four years later, his sister came into my world 
and changed it forever.
They are my children, mine, and I adore them both
for who they are, for the way they are,
Yet, being their Mother is wild, they are so
different. I have Baby boy, who I see with his three
little girls and I could melt watching the love he
has for them. Just this same weekend he danced on
stage with the Bean for her recital and I beamed 
with pride for my child. 
He is overprotective of me in a quiet way,
always wanting to help me with household projects.
He, as I grow older will be my
"SUNNY-DO"
Last night, spending a few hours with my gypsy baby,
so different from her brother, being the 
first to say, "I am not a maternal person except for my dog"
"I know I am selfish" However, I want to say to her,
it's not selfish when you know what you want,
how you want to live your life and verbally state it.
So many feel this way and do not have the courage
to admit this, It is why I admire her so much!
One of the many ways. I know she will be 
"MY KEEPER" 
when the time comes that I need help medically, she
will be the one to care for me as she has had
to do over the years when I was ill.
No matter how old she is, We will always be comfortable,
laying in the same bed, reading, talking, etc.
She is the best daughter I could have had for me.
Then there is my daughter in law, my KD,
as I have always said about her
"I could not have hand picked a girl better for my son".
I will forever keep a medallion she gave me as a gift
a few years ago stating,
"THANK YOU FOR RAISING THE MAN OF OUR DREAMS"
It always makes me proud to be her Mother in law.
A few weeks ago, baby boy being at work,
Kd, coming home from a busy work day only 
to have to hurriedly get Bean ready for dance practice
while the other two were screaming for her attention.
Kd came out of the bathroom where she was dressing
bean and seem flustered, Bean not having been the nicest 
to her Mommy that day, I had Bean ride with me to
dance and I told her a few things, one being
"GEE, (I sometimes call her this)
 you have to realize their are three women in this
world who not only will always love and have your back
no matter what happens, but will love you 
unconditionally, always: Me, your Mumsie, Maw Maw Cathy,
and last but not least your dear Mother"
That night, I am laying in bed and I find this small writing,
and I send it to my DIL, as I feel its something she needed 
to hear that day:
MAMA,
YOU  WERE GIVEN THESE CHILDREN - YOU.
NO ONE ELSE.
YOU WERE GIVEN THESE CHILDREN BECAUSE
YOU ARE WHO THEY NEED.
YOU HAVE THE SOUL TO LOVE THEM
EVEN ON THEIR HARD DAYS.
YOU HAVE THE MOTIVATION AND LOVE
TO GIVE THESE CHILDREN EVERYTHING THEY NEED.
YOU HAVE THE HEART TO WAKE UP EVERY
MORNING AND TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN,
EVEN WHEN YOU ARE EXHAUSTED.
YOU HAVE THE SMILE THAT THEY CRAVE
AND THE TOUCH TO MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY.
YOU ARE THEIR SUNSHINE AND
THEIR COMFORT. 
YOU ARE THEIRS AND THEY ARE YOURS.
MOMMA.
ON THE DAYS YOU ARE QUESTIONING YOURSELF,
REMEMBER.....
YOU GOT THIS.
How beautiful? Have we, as Mothers not all had a
point in our Mothering that we needed to hear these
very same words? I know I have.
I have shared how being mother to my children has 
completed me as a woman. I find myself now finding
time to nurture my own new relationships and
home business and getting the moral support 
from my grown children. Their understanding
of where my life is right now is something
I have needed so much and I have not told them that.
Thank you, my babies, for understanding that
I have given you two all of me for the last 30 
something years and now I must be able to nurture
my next phase of life. It has not been easy these last 4 years
but we have stayed strong, and have come out on 
the other side still whole and loving each other.
Although you two will always be loved by me
unconditionally and that I will also always
be on your side of the ring, I now must
find my own life as a Mother to adult children,
giving myself some time to be a tad selfish so to 
have myself a life I can grow into as I become an
older woman. Thank You, my babies, for trying
your best to understand this.
Last but not least,
I remain with the pillow covered with the pillow case
that my own Mother laid her head on the last day she
was with us, I have yet to wash that case, don't see myself
ever washing it, Why not, you may ask?
Because, if, like I did on Mothers Day morning,
put my nose deeply into the folds of that pillow and
smell deeply, I can still smell her, and as it is with me,
a smell can take me back to places of when she was 
still here with me. I was blessed with the best Momma for me
and I pray that as the years pass, my babies, and their own
babies will think of me lovingly and admiringly
when they smell the scent of Clinique Aromatics body lotion,
and feel the warmth of the love of their own Mother.
HAPPY BELATED MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU MOMMY'S!
                                                                                                                                                                

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