Two weeks ago, a dear friend of mine lost
her baby in the womb of her body at 22 weeks pregnant.
Our friendship began when her Mother, Wendy
and I taught religion together and she was just a teenager.
She found her husband Adam not long after and
Wendy and I talked, held our breath, held hands,
cried, while these two grew up, grew together,
and finally married. Linsey, set her sights on that guy
and would not let go, she married at 18, followed
him all the way to Vegas where he was stationed in
the Military, Then her and I began our adult friendship.
I was in contact with her and her Mom when she
had her first miscarriage, I was there when Adam,
coming home from the Military to see his dying Mother
for the last time and this woman/child had to tell her love
that his Mother had died before he made it home.
I was there when they came back home when Adam
completed his Military service and when Linsey was
again pregnant. I was there to help with whatever
they needed in the craft direction for their new baby.
I was there to plan Ella K.'s first birthday party
and there when we celebrated that same year of life.
I may not have been bodily there for each of these
milestones but I was there by
milestones but I was there by
cellphone contact and by heart.
With all that being said,
it would have only been natural when Linsey found
out baby number two was coming,
when they found out it was another sweet baby girl
and her name was to be Aria Jayde, I was involved.
May was going to be the month that she would enter our lives
In May, although Ella K. already was a sister, would
hold her baby sister and become a full fledged sister.
Then, something happened, we still don't know what,
but Linsey went in for a normal check-up and
no heart beat was there to be found.
The death of a baby child for no explained reason.
Lately it seems so many young Mommy's are finding their
way to a day when they have to bury a baby who is
born already gone to their Maker.
One of my dear besties went through the same thing
almost 20 years ago, and I know this tragedy hit her
hard, like it was happening to her all over again,
another friend, just went through almost the same thing
but was full term and no signs until she got to the hospital
to deliver her sweet Rage.
I imagine it is, for them, like reliving their own hell
once again, each time bringing back their own stories
of loss. Both of these women reached out to me,
both suggested a book that would help,
Bestie told me ,"Get the book "Empty Arms" that
you got me when I lost my little baby boy.
The other Mommy sent me a long, detailed PM and
suggested a book for Ella K.
"WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A BABY, BUT WE HAD AN ANGEL INSTEAD"
and that sentence, right there, never heard before,
became my Mantra for Sweet Aria and all those babies
that the Big Man takes before Earth becomes their home.
As I asked Linsey if I could blog about their tragedy she, of course,
not only gave me permission but sent me a writing she did herself.
When I read it I was floored! This writing made me cry,
made me proud, and I knew I could not say anything better than she herself
had written from her broken heart, so with her permission,
I will share this beautiful writing by Linsey:
NOBODY CAN PREPARE YOU.
NOBODY CAN GET READY FOR WHAT'S TO
COME OR GET YOU THROUGH IT.
YOU ARE BUSY PREPARING YOUR HOME
WHEN YOU HEAR THOSE WORDS
"I'M SO SORRY. THERE IS NOT HEARTBEAT".
YOU WATCH YOUR WORLD FALL APART.
YOU ARE NOW PICKING OUT CASKETS INSTEAD
OF PICKING OUT BEDDING.
AND THE TRUTH IS...
IT JUST SUCKS!!
NOBODY KNOWS THE WORDS YOU NEED
TO HEAR. IT HITS EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU
HARD. YOU NOW HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO
YOUR OTHER CHILD THAT HER SIBLING ISN'T
COMING HOME. THAT GOD HAS CALLED HER
HOME. YOU GET ANGRY WITH GOD.
WHY MY BABY? WHY OUR FAMILY?
THERE IS NEVER GOING TO BE AN ANSWER TO THAT.
ALL I KNOW IS GOD GIVES HIS TOUGHEST BATTLES
TO HIS STRONGEST SOLDIERS.
I KNOW THAT SHE WILL FOREVER LIVE ON IN
EACH ONE OF US. WE WILL HONOR HER
MEMORIAL DAILY. THIS WAS THE HARDEST THING
TO HAPPEN TO US BUT SHE IS WITH THE BIG MAN
UPSTAIRS. I'VE ASKED HIM TO HUG HER FOR ME,
TO TELL HER THAT WE LOVE HER,
THAT WE MISS HER, AND THAT WE
WILL SEE HER AGAIN SOMEDAY.
HER GRANDMAW IS LOVING UP ON HER
UP IN HEAVEN AND THAT GIVES
ME JUST A LITTLE COMFORT.
I'VE ALSO LEARNED THAT WE
"FAMILIES OF ANGELS" ARE NEVER ALONE.
So proud of my Amazing friend for this beautiful writing.
After spending the day with all of those who
have felt this loss the hardest, bringing an Angel box
I made for Sweet Aria, being able to play and love
up on Ella K. and talk with her about her "Sissy is Heaven"
After spending the afternoon helping Linsey put together
a treasure box that will now be a memorial in her
home of her sweet Angel baby,
Although they are still in pain, struggling,
they are smart, tough and that young couple
who have had to learn of loss so young,
Will become closer than they were before.
I will end this very long blog with another thing
Linsey sent to me,
Part of a song that gives her such comfort:
"...AND ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT WENT WRONG
AND WHY YOU'D LEAVE THE STAGE IN THE
MIDDLE OF A SONG"
My Ella K., she calls me Aunt Mumsie and I love that!
(Saturday, Lins, Wendy and others who loved Aria so
much got together and made this beautiful shadowbox)