One of my New Years Resolutions

Like most, I have very many New Years Resolutions

I made on January1, 2017 that I have already not followed.

 But the one that I am working really hard

on is Church. I have began going back to the Catholic Mass.

In my past, I never missed a Sunday. While raising my 

children, we also rarely missed a Sunday.

I taught religion all during my children's years

of religious ed. But something happened to me after 

my separation and divorce. 

I could not find my comfort there anymore,

that "good feeling" I used to feel when leaving mass.

Was it because I felt like I had not kept the 

promise I made on the day I married?

Was it because I felt angry because He did not 

protect that relationship. I have journaled and

thought lots about this and this is my conclusion.

My God, knows that marriage had to end,

I did not like who I was when I was in it.

I knew inside of me was a woman who deserved

to be HAPPY, JOYOUS AND FREE

It is the promise the Big Man made to us,

he want us all the have those three things.

Yet, life gets in the way. So on January 1st I was

heading to Baby boy's home when I realized it was 

Sunday and the last  mass for the day was in 10 minutes.

I turned around and entered that beautiful church.

I found peace there again, something I had not 

felt for many years in that area.

I realized it is not just the mass, the sermon,

the singing but the congregation. 

I am a people watcher....

That day, two pews in front of me

was a middle age couple, at first I thought they 

were youngens' because from the back the woman

had long beautiful hair and filled her Levi Jeans well.

but when she turned a bit to look at her hubby or boyfriend,

I saw she was probably in her 40's. 

They were so in love, through the mass, I watched them

often holding hands, putting her head on his shoulder.

Noticed that after communion he looked down at

her with the biggest smile and placed a kiss on her nose.

She wrinkled and smiled so big.

I left mass that day knowing I needed to be there again.

I need to see that love like that exists and lasts,

if two people work at it.

I am happy to say that although it is only a few weeks of

the New Year I have not missed a Sunday and look forward

to returning each weekend. There was a few Sundays.

Like today, it would be easier to just stay in 

but I won't. I will go and dress and enter the doors

of  beautiful St. John, knowing that after,

I will meet a friend at Portabello's for lunch, 

I will leave feeling better than when I entered,

I will learn something there and it may not be from the

mass or the sermon but from the congregation that shares

this hour with me.

Enjoy your Sunday my Peeps!